How Do I Meditate When I Can’t Turn Off My Mind?
The Answer in 1 Easy Technique
My Most Common FAQ
Everyone can meditate. Meditation is actually our natural state.
Without a doubt, this is the question I get asked most frequently. Usually, I am approached by two types of people:
- people who have never meditated before
- people have tried meditation and not seen results.
First, let me say this:
EVERYONE can meditate.
NEVER be intimidated by meditation.
What Meditation Is…and Is Not
Meditative is our natural state. However, the energetic dirt and garbage of this world piles on top of us and causes us to forget.
If you find a teacher (or have had one in the past) who makes meditation seem mysterious or confusing please lace up your tennies and run the other way. Fast! That teacher either doesn’t know what they are talking about or they are so full of their own ego they will never help you grow.
If you find a teacher who makes meditation seem hard or confusing run the other way!
The fact is, everyone meditates all day long. It’s just that many people are meditating on the wrong types of things: things that are negative, depressing, harmful, or will otherwise hold them back in life. But more on that in another post.
Lots of people interpret the word “meditation” in lots of different ways. To be true, there are many different types of meditation.
But for our purposes here we are going to talk about the type of meditation that quiets a racing mind and brings some inner peace to a chaotic soul.
I was blessed to study with wonderfully wise old-school Eastern teachers who respected the ancient methods of connecting body and mind. I am not talking religion. I am talking science; the ancient scientific knowledge of mind and body connection.
For me, these teachers opened up a new world rooted in old ways. But to my dismay, I see much of this teaching being lost for a multitude of reasons.
One such reason is the Western mentality of many teachers who say “I need to make this method mine. I need to add my own unique twist on it. I need to brand it and make this my signature meditation method.”
No. No, you don’t need to do any of that. It doesn’t help the student. It has nothing to do with ancient wisdom handed down to us from great masters. Those folks were in tune and in touch with the Universe in a way our instant gratification craving, distracted by every snowflake, grasshopper minds cannot even fathom.
There is nothing wrong with teaching methods that have worked for thousands of years. There are not enough good meditation teachers for all the seekers out there anyway. No one needs to come up with some new exciting way to meditate. We just need more teachers who desire to teach from their heart to see their students grow, not their egos and their own fame.
So, long story short, meditation can become confusing, convoluted, and cumbersome.
And the student gets frustrated.
The Key To Unlocking Meditation
Lean in close so I can tell you a secret.
Are you ready?
The key to all meditation is this:
The mind cannot ever be still if the body is not still…I mean, completely, 100% still.
Your mind is a reflection of your body and your body is a reflection of your mind. Once you understand that you can begin to unlock meditation for yourself and take back control of an unruly mind.
The mind cannot be still if the body is not still.
Most new meditators are never taught this basic concept and so they struggle. Instead, they are told to “relax the body”, “free the mind”, all kinds of feel-good language. What is that?! That doesn’t help anybody!! If you could just relax your mind to start meditating you wouldn’t need to learn to meditate in the first place. Right?
I am all about practicality.
When you begin to study meditation it is most important to focus on your body and not your mind.
When you begin to meditate focus on your BODY and NOT your MIND.
Focus on your body. You will discover something very interesting; you can’t sit perfectly still!
You will find that you are fidgeting, wiggling and moving. All of the sudden your nose itches…your eye twitches…it feels like there is a fly on your toe so you must open your eyes and swat it…your back hurts so you move positions…and on and on and on.
This is the mind fighting the body. Your mind is waging war on your body.
The science of meditation is this: if the body becomes ABSOLUTELY STILL — with no movement at all — then the mind HAS to stop.
Every time you move it sends ripples through the brain and the mind becomes active again. The movement of your body, even ever so slightly, has the same effect in your mind as if you dropped a stone into a still pool of water…ripples begin flowing outward.
The Problem
The mind is an unruly child…I’m talking barefooted, matted hair, face sticky from a lollypop, grass stains on his knees, up-way-past-nap-time… unruly child.
The mind wants what it wants. And what it wants is to be active, to think, to over think, to be in control. But if the mind is always active several problems will arise.
An overactive mind causes actual physical fatigue.
An overactive mind prevents the body from resting peacefully in sleep; which causes further physical fatigue.
Your intuition gets blocked. You become cut off from vital messages and energy from the Universe or the human beings around you.
You cannot hear the guidance of your inner-self. This is why so many people feel lost and confused about a decision they need to make in their life…or in life in general.
Essentially, the mind needs to be put into a time-out. But it doesn’t want to go into a time-out. So the mind will play tricks to keep control. Like a child who does not want to go to bed, the mind will ask for a glass of water, or to check for monsters under the bed, or to be read another story. It will begin to imagine an itch on the nose, on the arm, on the toe. A sudden pain will pop up and cause you to move. All of this is the mind fighting your stillness.
How do you fight back?
By doing nothing!
Huh?
Let me explain.
The Solution
Resist all of the mind's attempts to trick the body into movement.
Your first job in mediation is not to clear the mind but to keep the body absolutely still. If the body is not still the mind can’t be clear!
Most teachers put the cart before the horse on meditation, asking students to clear their minds, because they have not studied the science of the mind and body connection.
Your first goal in meditation is not to clear the mind but to keep the body absolutely still!
After you master this stillness of body, the world of meditation is your oyster. From this point on there will be no limits as to what you want to achieve in your meditation practice.
Do not misunderstand me. I am not saying all meditation and growth is easy. It is most definitely not without its challenges, but it will all be POSSIBLE and available to you if you put forth the effort.
But the key is to first train the body to be still.
Remember, your body movement is that pebble in the still pool of water of the mind.
What To Do
Feeling better? Feeling encouraged? Good! You should be because you can do this!
Now, here is what you do. I am giving this advice because this is what helped me years ago when I began studying with my teacher.
The key is to first get 60 seconds of total stillness. Even your breath will slow down so that the body barely moves. Then progress to 90 seconds, 120, 180, etc.
The first 60 seconds of stillness is key!
Take small steps and celebrate the victories. Don’t be hard on yourself. Just keep at it. You have to train the body and the mind just like you were training the muscles to lift weights. It’s a process. And it is in the process that we grow.
What you will slowly find is that as the body becomes stiller, the mind automatically becomes quieter. And a quieter mind equals a refreshed body!
A quieter mind = a refreshed body!
In the past, you may have struggled to meditate for 20 or 30 minutes. Most likely you left that session feeling frustrated, irritated, and agitated; in short, worse than when you started. But now, you will notice even just 60 seconds of sitting will leave you refreshed.
Be patient with yourself. It’s in the process, not the end result, that we grow!
A Few Final Tips
I want to leave you with a few final tips for success.
For some people, especially those that have experienced trauma, sitting still can be an excruciating exercise. Sometimes the mind is just too wound up.
Or maybe you just had a really awful day: a fight with your boss, a disagreement with your significant other, your tween-ager just told you she hates you for the first time. Stuff happens. Life is hard some days. I get it. It is totally normal.
If you find yourself in any of these situations and are really struggling to even sit still try this:
- Check for caffeine: When was the last time you had caffeine? I am all for my coffee. Don’t misunderstand me. The Mediterranean blood running through my veins is 75% espresso. But having coffee or any caffeinated beverage within an hour of meditating will definitely create difficulties. Try to plan your practice time before you consume caffeine or wait at least one hour afterward.
- Stretching: Stretching produces a lot of really helpful chemicals in the body which we will not go into right now. But know that some nice relaxing stretch time will help get the wiggles out of your body and aid you in your meditation goals. You don’t have to do any crazy yoga poses. Just stretch slowly and methodically in a way that feels good to your body. You’re not trying out for the yoga Olympic team, you just want to quiet the mind for a few minutes.
- Yoga — Balancing Postures: Now, having said that, there are certain yoga postures that are my “go-to” for quieting the mind and body. You may have heard it said that yoga postures are a form of moving meditation. That is exactly correct. However, there are some postures that I consider to be ‘fast-acting’; like the equivalent of rapid-release headache tablets. Those would be balancing postures. You don’t have to know yoga to employ this technique. Any balancing posture will do. Simply trying to stand on one leg will work. Stand some place safe where you won’t hurt yourself if you topple over. Then fix your gaze on a focal point in front of you and give your most challenging balance pose a whirl. The busier the mind the more challenging it will be to maintain your balance. Every time you fall out, get back in again. Your repeated effort is forcing the mind to obey your body. Once your balance feels sufficiently stabilized you are ready to begin your meditation practice for the day. I still use this method before I sit to meditate when I have had a particularly tough day.
NB: I would like to make one special note here for men and women who have experienced combat trauma. I do not recommend any type of meditation where you close your eyes and sit still. Combat trauma hits a different part of the brain than all other types of trauma. In my personal experience, this form of meditation seems to make the bombs louder and the flashbacks more intense. When treating combat-related PTSD I always utilize active methods of meditation for my student. I will be writing a follow-up post on this topic soon. Please look for it if you or a loved one struggle with PTSD related to combat.
My Prayer For You
Hopefully, these tips and insights have helped you gain a new perspective on meditation. If you have had a bad experience in the past, please do yourself a favor and try again. If you have never attempted a meditation practice before please let this article inspire you to cast off your doubts and fears and give it a try.
Remember, above all else stay practical.
For me, meditation was the beginning of an amazing journey. It gave me insight into just exactly how much control we have over our mind and our body; over our health and over our happiness. I hope it will do the same for you!
“Eventually, meditation will make our mind calm, clear, and as concentrated as a laser which we can focus at will. This capacity of one-pointed attention is the essence of genius. When we have this mastery over attention in everything we do, we have a genius for life.” ~ Eknath Easwaran
Edited from original version published at https://loosescrewsblog.com on September 16, 2020.
