Meditation Insight
How Do I Know It Is the Voice of Spirit and Not My Own Ego?
I remember listening to a video long ago, a conversation Pema Chodron had with Grace Paley. Grace spoke about the way she left all conscious thought in meditation and went inward (and upward). Pema said she was the opposite, conscious of everything while meditating — the sound of people walking past, a car on the road, someone banging a pot, a door shutting — whatever was happening around her, she was aware of it. Her meditation was in those things as much as in her.
What has become clear to me over time is that the messages I receive during meditation are of two kinds and they are not controlled or defined by whether I make my mind blank or hear what is going on around me, both of which are fine. In truth, what matters is knowing whether the messages come from my ego or from Spirit.
An ego-bound message keeps me stalled. A message from Spirit has a clarity that no interruption or random thought process or even personalized intention can obscure.
But how do I know which is which?
Ego is self-centered. That is its essential function. We need it to keep us in our human form, living through human behavior, experiencing our very human need to belong, to succeed, to know. The ego demands answers, even in quiet times. Otherwise, self-doubt roars in as fast as lightning.
Yet it is usually some form of self-doubt that turns us toward meditation and the seeking of spiritual answers in the first place. Spirit is ego-less. It is all-encompassing. It is Presence. It is where the real answers wait. But it does not give us answers, nor requires us to hold them, until we are ready — until we have surrendered our ego to the path of openness and vulnerability and faith.
Not many of us can do this or achieve it in meditation alone. The spiritual journey is a long one, for most of us, an accumulation of knowledge that we ultimately shed, detach from. For then we are able to act and live and have our being in awareness alone.
When a message comes to you in meditation and you want to second-guess it, it is not from Spirit. When a message comes to you that is not satisfying, it is not from Spirit. Any message carrying confusion or uncertainty is from ego. Receiving any message another person requires you to accept is ego.
What then does a message from Spirit feel like? It is a pure feeling that brings the word “Yes” into your consciousness. This is what you are meant to hear and absorb and welcome. No action is needed. There is no requirement of any kind. It simply IS.
That is the message to hold, to write down, to live.
With such a message, nothing more is asked of you, each time, except to receive it.
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Regina Clarke is a writer of mystery, fantasy, and science fiction. The Shawangunk Mountains she can see as she writes are part of the Appalachians, the oldest on earth. She’s on Twitter @ReginaClarke1 and is the author of cozy mystery Hidden In Stone, sci-fi thriller Gene Pool, and fantasy novels Guardians of the Field, and MARI. Her website blog frequently explores the ideas of hope and inspiration.
