How Caring for Others is a Great Example of Self-Care

Summary

The author of the article discovers that caring for others, including family and pets, serves as a powerful form of self-care and healing during adversity.

Abstract

The article titled "How Caring for Others is a Great Example of Self-Care" from the "Thank You Notes #48" series reflects on the author's personal journey through adversity. The author, inspired by Trista Signe Ainsworth's publication "Thank You Notes," finds that focusing on the well-being of others, such as their children during a traumatic personal situation or their pets and birds during the pandemic, has been a key strategy for self-healing. Despite having a support system, the author tends to rely on self-reliance and the act of nurturing to cope with hardships. This revelation also sheds light on the author's career choices and their preference for writing as a means of connection and expression, which they find therapeutic.

Opinions

The author appreciates Trista Signe Ainsworth's ability to highlight positivity and inspire self-reflection through her prompts.
Oprah Winfrey's quote resonates with the author, emphasizing that helping others is a way of helping oneself.
The author acknowledges a preference for self-reliance during tough times, possibly influenced by upbringing and DNA, rather than leaning on loved ones.
The author values the joy and companionship brought by their dogs, which helped fill a void as their children grew older and more independent.
Writing and reading on Medium have become significant sources of self-care and healing for the author, fostering connections and allowing for personal expression.

Thank You Notes #48

Like most people, I’ve endured my share of adversity. Healing hasn’t always been easy and identifying something specific that I appreciated to help me through the process had me stumped at first.

That’s what I love most about Trista Signe Ainsworth and her publication Thank You Notes. Trista has a way of pointing out the positive, elevating the beauty and light of a situation when it would be tempting to dwell on the darkness, and challenging readers with prompts that inspire self-reflection.

I seized the opportunity to dig deeper into the question of what it is that heals my heart. And while I’ve concluded that I mostly rely on myself to muscle through hard times, something interesting has occurred to me — the act of nurturing itself has been one of my most effective tools.

“Helping others is the way we help ourselves.”

- Oprah Winfrey

I’ve found this to be true in many situations. When I was going through a very traumatic personal situation, I swaddled myself in the caring of my children. It was easier to dwell on their lives than on my own. In tending to their needs, I fed my soul at the same time.

And when I was actively battling cancer, I chose to schedule my regular trips to the radiation lab immediately upon dropping my son off at school. I was able to get a quick dose of his love and attention before heading in for treatment. Those small bursts of mother-son time were invaluable in keeping me positive, reminding me of exactly why I needed to stay strong.

In thinking about my typical pattern of self-healing, I do wonder why I never really lean on my loved ones when I’m going through something tough. I’d like to believe there are plenty of people available to me, and I can name several who would step forward if I would just ask. But for some reason or another, I rarely do. Perhaps it’s my upbringing. Or ingrained in my DNA . Most likely, it’s a combination of both—the old nature versus nurture debate lives on.

I don’t raise this revelation because I feel sorry for myself. It’s just who I am, and it sure explains a lot. For starters, it’s probably why I spent most of my career in the nonprofit sector. I’ve always been drawn to the business of helping others over opportunities that would have undoubtedly been more financially lucrative.

Now that my kids are mostly grown and gone, I’ve also become a real dog person. I have two canine companions that follow me everywhere I go, and I admit to spoiling them rotten most days. They fill part of the void that snuck in as my kids started needing me less and less.

Photo by Author who couldn’t pass up the opportunity to show off her dogs!

In addition, I bought my first bird feeder during the pandemic. I used to dislike the idea of feeding the birds in my backyard. “It’s too messy,” I used to say. But just this morning, I caught a glimpse of a bright red cardinal waiting patiently for the big, fat squirrel to move away from the feeder. Perched on the fence, he held my attention while I pondered how happy it makes me to refill that feeder several times a week and to watch all the colorful birds come and go.

Everyone is different. We all have our own ways of expressing ourselves, and varying needs to be met when faced with adversity. But one thing I’ve learned here on Medium is how much I enjoy writing and reading the work of others to form connections. Sometimes I find it easier to express myself through the written word—another form of self-care perhaps as that in itself can be a good source of healing too!