How Can You Address Your Partner When They Appear Emotionally Withdrawn and Disinterested?

I’ve dealt with this problem before, both as the person that’s bummed out and wants to be left alone and also as the person wanting to help a loved one.

There’s not much you can do in both situations, really. It’s ideal to give time some time. But if you’ve already done that and now you’re wondering if there’s an end to this problem, here’s what you can do:

As the partner addressing the other…

You want to be concise, honest and to the point;

I’ve given you time and space but it hurts me to see you this down and distant. Help me help you by talking to me.

This statement or similar, gives the right amount of information for them to know that you care not only to know how you can help but also that you acknowledge how they’ve been feeling AND how it affects you.

As a couple, it’s important to know when one person goes through something, both people go through it. Maybe not in the same way, of course, but it’s a process for both people in the relationship.

As the person that’s withdrawn and disinterested…

You want to try your hardest to say how you really feel. A little at a time is fine.

• Express the ‘why’ of what’s going on to the best of your abilities.
• If it involves your partner being the reason you’re distant, make it known.
• Explain the difficult time you’re having and listen to what your partner says and doesn’t say.

There are numerous situations as to why someone would be down and out in a relationship. But if you’ve been going through this for weeks or months, It’s not about the relationship as much as it is about the individual.

In other words, the “relationship life” has taken a back seat for quite some time because one person is not themselves and the other doesn’t know what to do. This isn’t normal behavior in the adult dating world.

One person might require to get uncomfortable and make decisions that maybe they don’t want to make, but are needed to move on from this state.

This doesn’t necessarily mean you’re moving in the right direction or toward a breakup, but lives cannot be put on hold due to lack of communication. Regardless of what someone is going through in this specific context.

Every choice you make, makes you. But not making a choice is also a choice. You will, however, almost inevitably have regret if a choice is made without your say — If something is bothering you, find a way to talk about it and learn to accept things that you don’t understand. And move on. Happily or otherwise.