How Can Writers Get Over Their Anxiety?
An in-depth guide to conquering the fear of sharing your work
The fear of sharing your writing might sound silly to non-creatives.
After all, artists are supposed to want as many people as possible to lay eyes on their work.
Yet, the truth is: all creators can relate to the idea of writer’s anxiety.
This crippling fear exists throughout the creation of any meaningful work, culminating at the moment you’re supposed to press ‘publish’.
Many indie authors are uncomfortable asking people to buy their books. They half-ass their marketing, harming their reach and arguably making it pointless to have even started such as a momentous project.
Worse yet, the more impactful the writing, the more likely the author will experience this fear. The words that stretch society’s boundaries furthest are scariest to share.
Below, we explore how writers can conquer this anxiety and unashamedly share their ideas with the world.
Why are we scared to share our art with the masses?
To answer this question, we must first understand why this fear exists…
I asked members of the Real Artists Don’t Starve (RADS) Facebook group why artists fear sharing their work.
Here is a summary of the main reasons.
1. Perfectionism
Many people suggested they never feel their work is ready.
Indeed, there will always be parts of a book you think you can write better. If you wait for perfection, no-one will ever see the finished product.
The best solution to perfectionism is to hire a trustworthy editor. As well as fixing up your manuscript, they’ll tell you when it’s ready to publish. When they do, believe them.
2. Fear of judgment
Many artists struggle to separate themselves from their work. As such, they feel their audience is not only judging their art but also their soul.
Ani Manjikian, from the RADS Facebook group, explained:
“As an artist, we aren’t just sharing our work, we are sharing our heart, soul, blood, sweat and inspiration with every piece. That makes our work more than a product. It is a part of us. So when it is deemed unworthy, we run into the very big hazard of deeming ourselves unworthy.
“Thing is, we can’t. We have the strength and courage to create in the first place. We just need to continue to use both after the piece is done…How? I have no good answer for that, other than we must. For without art, this world would be a very dull and boring place.”
3. Fear of criticism
Getting people’s attention is half the battle for creatives. In this new smartphone-obsessed world, it’s tougher than ever.
To do it, you have to make bold moves. You have to be different. I liken this to walking a tightrope between terrible and awesome. On one side, there are people who hate what you’ve done. On the other, people LOVE it.
Still, people are scared to get on the tightrope because they fear the haters.
Megan Wildhood, who was tormented by trolls following an article she wrote for The Atlantic, told me:
“I couldn’t escape the completely unmerited cruelty that it apparently provoked. People Googled me, commented on my website and even emailed me. I haven’t given up and have mostly recovered, but it’s way easier said than done to just brush off the haters.”
4. Fear of crickets
The feeling of worthlessness that comes from being completely ignored can be enough to stop people even trying to make an impact.
Megan told me it feels even worse than being hated.
She said:
“I have struggled to find my audience for so long that it’s sometimes very hard to believe they’re out there. And no, ‘doing it for myself’ is not enough. I’ve had that said to me a lot and I think it’s a pretty unfair thing to say. I want my writing to matter to other people. I don’t understand what’s so wrong with that.”
How can writers rid themselves of this anxiety?
I’ve never felt this anxiety stronger than when I wrote my last book The Thrill Of The Chase.
This memoir details how I overcame heartbreak and learned to thrive in singledom after a traumatic break-up. It goes into cringe-worthy detail about my initial struggles to connect with the opposite sex, as well as the steps I took to turn it around.
I wanted other men to learn from my experience, but the fear of judgment was overwhelming, so I sought advice for conquering it.
Here are the four best tips I discovered.
1. If it scares you, you’re on the right path
It’s easier to create something that’s already been done. It’s safe. It won’t ruffle any feathers. But it won’t make anyone stop and take notice either. A life of peaceful anonymity awaits…
In a world where dozens of blog posts are published EVERY SECOND, it’s essential to create content you’re terrified to put out. Everything else will be lost in the ether.
As Neil Gaiman, says:
“The moment that you feel, just possibly, you are walking down the street naked, exposing too much of your heart and your mind, and what exists on the inside, showing too much of yourself…That is the moment, you might be starting to get it right.”
2. Most people don’t give a crap what you write
I asked Matt Rudnitsky, author of You Are An Author, So Write Your F**king Book, how he dealt with imposter syndrome.
He said:
“Most people don’t give a crap about what you write. A few do, and they’re almost all positive. 94% of people ignore you, 5% thank you, and 1% spew irrational hatred so stupid that you can’t take it seriously. They have sticks up their butts.”
At first glance, this quote might be disheartening. However, it’s also somewhat comforting.
Once you accept that you’ll probably be ignored by the majority and trolled by a few — no matter how great or controversial your work is — you’re free to concentrate on appealing to the 5% who will LOVE it.
3. My art will improve people’s lives
From a young age, we’re taught that boasting is rude, bragging is arrogant and unsolicited advertising is annoying. If your art is truly of service to people, your self-promotion no longer falls under any of these categories.
That’s why I made sure The Thrill Of The Chase addressed all the frustrations I’ve heard from single dudes in the past.
These include:
- how to overcome anxiety when approaching women;
- how to actually enjoy dates;
- how to have fun without drinking;
- frustrations with online dating;
- how to find a girlfriend you won’t get bored of.
4. Marketing is part of a writer’s job
If you’re not lucky enough to have a publicist, (or even if you do), marketing is part of your job as an artist.
An artist who doesn’t market their work is like a motorist who doesn’t fill their car with petrol. ‘Build it and they will come’ is a philosophy no-one can rely on.
Ryan Holiday, author of Perennial Seller, puts it brilliantly.
He said:
“Who should make the time for your art if not you? What does it say that you’re not willing to roll up your sleeves to get to work telling people about this work you have made? Name one person who should be more invested in the potential success of this project than you.”
I took these tips to heart and went gung-ho with my marketing. I appeared on several podcasts and YouTube channels to proudly tell the hosts how my book would change people’s lives.
Here I am unboxing it on Facebook Live.
You can buy The Thrill Of The Chase here.
Experiencing creative anxiety on a whole new level
My upcoming book tells the story of my greatest struggle with creative anxiety.
In 2017, I was one of twenty singletons given a camera and asked to film every element of their dating lives for an entire year. The footage was made into a documentary that aired on Channel 4 in the UK.
‘The Camera Never Lies’ details my struggles to walk the tightrope between awesome and terrible on national TV. How far is too far? Where is the line between entertainment and vulgarity? Between entertaining and narcissistic? Between a fun character and a stupid clown?
It also outlines the 17 brutal truths I learned about dating, relationships, and life throughout this year.
Click to learn more and download the first chapter for free >>
