How Body Acceptance Helps You Reach Your Fitness Goals

Because accepting your body is not the same as ignoring it

No matter what we say, getting fit is primarily about getting a body we can accept and ultimately love. Sure, staying healthy is a nice perk that we won’t refuse. But deep down in our souls, we hope for a body that others will love, convinced that only then we will love our body too. Most of us do.

Fitness is, at its core, body sculpting. You see yourself as this rough marble block out of which you’re trying to chisel a beautiful nude. That feels like a tough job.

I dare you to look at it differently.

Seek beauty in your rough marble, and you might not even notice the pain and the calluses you’re getting from the chisel. Sculpting will become your work for a lifetime, not just any work, but one you’ll enjoy and perceive as natural.

Don’t use your fitness goals to make your body acceptable. Accept your body, and reaching your fitness goals will come after.

George Martin, the author of A Game of Thrones, said:

“Once you’ve accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you.”

If I may add, not even you!

So, let’s talk about bodies

There are different bodies and different ways of looking at it.

There’s body shaming, where bodies are harshly criticized for their shape and size.

And there’s body positivity, where all bodies are celebrated, no matter their size.

Then, there’s body neutrality, where bodies are a non-issue.

And there’s body acceptance, where we recognize and accept what we like and what we don’t like about our bodies.

Body shaming never leads to anything good. Positivity seems to overdo it, while neutrality hides it under the rug. Acceptance is the middle way between fake-it-till-you-make-it and look-away.

Body acceptance is the best way because it implies that you sincerely look at your body and admit to yourself its strengths and flaws. Ultimately, you accept those flaws, just like you accept the fact that you don’t like them. You come to peace with the puzzle that you are, despite some missing pieces.

Accepting your body is not the same as ignoring it

Accepting your imperfect body will set you free without making you ignorant. As body image expert Erica Mather perfectly puts it, not loving every inch of yourself is not an unhealthy mindset. It’s only natural. You can, and you should still pursue your goals of shedding pounds. But you’ll do it from a position where you are aware of the role that your body plays for you in this world.

When you come to terms with those parts of your body that you don’t really like, you leave no room for shame or embarrassment. You make room for self-love and self-care, which will ultimately lead you to reach your fitness goals in a way you’ll enjoy. You shift your focus from the destination to the journey. You put sprints behind, entering a marathon where you use your energy the smart way.

We parade with what we have

For the first 23 years of my life, I was skinny. Yet as skinny as I was, I had this bottom hourglass body shape that I hated — I can see you rolling your eyes, thinking, “Now that’s a problem I’d like to have.” But bear with me for a second.

My hips made me feel and act like a bull tiptoeing in a China shop. In my mind, people passing by could have easily tripped on my oversized hips. And the worst was yet to happen.

Slowly but steadily, starting with that age, I began to gain weight. My hips were getting bigger and bigger. And with every diet and fitness torture that I was getting myself into, it seemed like all my other body parts were shrinking — including the boobs, d’oh -, except for the hips.

At one point, we were packing up for a summer holiday abroad when I realized I didn’t have enough clothes left that wouldn’t make me want to crawl under the bed and stay there for the rest of the season.

I had to buy myself some new clothes. So I took my husband with me. He’s the most effective shopper I’ve ever met, and I knew I needed him to keep me on the right track. As expected, nothing looked good on me. I was about to cry a few rivers when he gave me the talk. He said:

Look, there’s nothing you can do about it now. You’re going to look just the same when we come back. And while it’s not the time to make the change you need, it is the time to choose whether you’re going to feel great or miserable on this vacation. For now, I say that’s what we have, and that’s what we parade with. Let’s buy this, this, this, and this. You’re going to be just fine.

And he was right. Later on, as I was trying to remind myself that I am worthy of love and, most importantly, of my own love, I realized that my husband was already there. He was accepting his body, and he was encouraging me to accept mine. I wasn’t there just yet, but I’ve made it, eventually.

Here’s what I’ve learned in the process.

Body acceptance must come before any fitness goals

Reaching your fitness goals will be challenging and will take time. You’ll look at yourself in the mirror more or less often. When you do that, you will hardly see any significant progress despite your muscle soreness and mental fatigue. But you will see yourself. And to be able to keep going, you’ll have to accept what you see. To accept your body, so you can keep taking good care of it.

Acceptance brings you comfort

Once you accept your body, you’re no longer in a permanent offensive state. Your stress levels go down. And as you probably know, when you’re less stressed, you also eat less. Through it all, your chances of stabilizing your weight will increase.

Acceptance makes you listen to your body

As you keep sticking to your goals, now that you’ve come to accept your body, you should be able to better listen to it. If you’re getting signals that you need to rest, you can take a break with no fear and no guilt for missing a workout. No need to punish yourself for the days you decide you need a break.

Acceptance shifts your perspective

Acceptance shifts your perspective from numbers to feelings. Instead of obsessing about the numbers you see on the scale, the numbers you see on your clothes’ tags, the numbers you see on ingredients lists with calories, carbs, sugars, and so on, you focus on your overall health. Losing weight, then staying fit, should be the perks, all while you’re in it for the long run, to feel better with your everyday life and health choices.

Acceptance changes your reasoning

Don’t mistake this comfort and relaxation with surrendering to passivity. It shouldn’t make you think you don’t need to do anything because you’re perfect just the way you are. Take this comfort and relaxation to energize yourself and keep your workout routines. This time, seek motivation in the pleasant feeling you’re getting from the endorphins rush that comes with exercising. You’re not doing it to tone a trouble zone; you’re doing it to feel good.

Acceptance takes out the guilt

Speaking of no punishments, every now and then, you’ll be more relaxed about sinking your teeth into a cake. Acceptance implies you know that the difference between a six-pack and a fluffy tummy is not in that cake, and you’re OK with that. You stick to your workout rhythm and have the occasional sweet treat without the guilt.

Acceptance makes you more conscious

Conscious about the role your body plays in your life. Aware of the experiences and pleasures you get through it. Your body allows you to play with your children. Hug your parents. Make love to your partner. Feel the sun and the rain and the wind. Feel the pain. It’s a lot more than the shell that gives you a much-coveted social status.

Accept your body, and you will start caring for its well-being rather than torturing it to skyrocket yourself to a place you only think would make you happy.

How do you begin focusing on body acceptance?

You can do many different small things that will help you come to terms with your body even when you don’t like everything about it.

My favorite ways are to:

1. Focus on experiencing pleasure in your body

When you focus too much on reaching a goal, you risk sacrificing the things that helped you keep putting in the hard work. But when you learn to find joy and bring it to your life as often as you can, you’re more likely to keep grinding.

Experiencing pleasure in your body is one of the easiest ways to bring joy to your life. And this can mean something as simple as wearing clothes that make you feel good, surrounding yourself with people who love you, focusing on workouts and movement that feels good and makes you feel good about yourself, or anything else you can think of.

Pay attention to the things that make you feel joy in your body, and meeting goals will become more natural and much more manageable.

2. Analyze everything through the lens of healthiness

Joy and health should go shoulder to shoulder. Otherwise, you’ll risk finding joy only in a huge slice of cake, an ice cream bucket, or a wine gallon. Focus on the things that give you pleasure and contribute to your health at the same time.

In everything you do, try to see the health benefits and make them your primary motivator. You don’t want to be joyful and skinny. You want to be cheerful and healthy, and by pursuing this goal, you will lose weight faster and without feeling like it’s overwhelming.

Do the things that allow you to be healthier and, at the same time, start thinking of yourself as a person who leads a healthy lifestyle. Action and focused thought — you can’t have one without the other!

3. Practice self-love, regardless of how hard it may feel

You can accept your body but still not love it. However, you can’t love your body without accepting it. Since self-love makes self-care more natural and gets you closer to your goals, you’ll want to go all-in and remind yourself in every way you can that you’re worthy of your love.

Focusing on self-love will take you on a journey full of rewards. Self-acceptance is just one of them. Think of resilience. Think of growth. Think of the ability to feel entirely comfortable in your own company without needing validation from others. Think of the ability to weather whatever life throws at you without carrying a storm inside of you, only but a smile on your face.

“To love yourself right now, just as you are, is to give yourself heaven. Don’t wait until you die. If you wait, you die now. If you love, you live now.” Alan Cohen

Body acceptance is reverse psychology

Many people fail to get fit because this is a goal you can hardly see happening as you look at yourself every day in the mirror. We give up quickly in the absence of instant gratification.

But when you accept your body and work out in a way that makes you feel good, you’re getting instant gratification in small doses. Just enough to keep you going, day after day, while finding joy in it rather than pain.

What’s more, body acceptance helps you focus on the pleasures you can experience through your body, while concentrating yourself on those pleasures reinforces your body acceptance. It’s a circle you’ll want to get into. And it’s not even that hard to do it. Do the following:

Cut the toxic people from your life;

Eliminate negative self-talk;

Focus on feeling joy through your body;

Love the people who love you back;

Find yourself a hobby;

Be OK by yourself;

Get inspired with self-love quotes;

Parade with what you have;

And look more often in the mirror.

The one person who can change your life for the better will look back at you from that mirror.

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