How Autism Can Make You More Socially Astute

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Abstract

— especially to people like me.Nevertheless, if one looks carefully enough, they can be found.Social dynamics is also an area that can be studied. There is no shortage of books on subjects such as body language, socialising, and so on. It is not beyond the wit of those on the spectrum to learn how to win friends and influence people.So when you combine an autistic love of study with an autistic talent for spotting patterns, those on the spectrum can acquire and develop a great deal of skill in this area.It is helpful that emotional intelligence is far less fixed than intelligence of an intellectual sort. It is a muscle that can be strengthened.<h2 id="0339">Not easy</h2>This doesn’t necessarily mean that this is an easy thing for autistic people to do.For us, socialising usually requires a substantial amount of effort and concentration.The metaphor I often like to use is that as an autistic person, I have had to teach myself to manually use a map to get where I want to go, whilst non-autistics have a sat nav at their disposal.The latter requires much less cognitive effort. That’s why many autistic people find socialising very tiring indeed. It’s not that we don’t necessarily enjoy it. It just takes an awful lot of energy.<h2 id="e0c7">Paradox</h2>We do not possess the ability to take a mental shortcut in the way that neurotypicals can and in some ways this is certainly a distinct disadvantage. Nevertheless, it isn’t a disadvantage in every way.Though it is more difficult and more resource-intensive in terms of cognitive energy to read a map manually, in some ways it is superior to and more advantageous than using the sat nav.It means you have to study the map in more detail and think far more carefully about where you’re going. We go deeper into the available information because we’re forced to. That’s the only way we can interpret it. This means we collect more data points. When married with our analytical prowess these extra data points can enable us to spot patterns in social behaviour that most neurotypicals would miss This can add depth and richness to our social understanding that most people do not possess.It’s not that neurotypicals cannot learn to read a map manually by the way. But because they have their sat nav they don’t usually need to and so therefore don’t bother.Not every autistic person can learn to read a map in this way either. Other autistic people just don’t want to for perfectly legitimate reasons.<h2 id="ec86">Big fat

Options

caveat</h2>In this article, I am talking about being socially astute in the specific context of interactions with neurotypicals.It should be said that when interacting with each other autistics do not tend to encounter many of the issues they face with interacting with people who aren’t on the spectrum.It should also be said that non-autistics can be utterly woeful at understanding autistic people. Indeed, very often they are just as bad if not worse than autistic people are at understanding non-autistics. This is known as the double empathy problem.I don’t accept the premise that neurotypical communication is inherently superior to autistic communication.What I’m saying here is that autistic people can become more adept at neurotypical communication than the neurotypicals themselves. They can play neurotypicals at their own game and win handsomely.<h2 id="02b6">Final thoughts</h2>There are autistic people who have developed the ability to navigate the neurotypical social arena with great acuity while there are plenty of non-autistics who are completely socially unaware.For autistic people learning to communicate with neurotypicals is akin to learning a second language.It is a second language that many of us are forced to learn because it is the lingua franca. More people speak it, so it is useful to know. Some autistics have little or no proficiency in it. Some have the basics down. Some are intermediates. Some are fluent, while others acquire native proficiency.In the UK there are foreigners who have much better English than native speakers of the language. They have much better grammar and a far more extensive vocabulary.This could be due to a keen intellect or a natural linguistic talent. It could be because they’ve just worked particularly hard at improving their English skills. It could be down to a combination of all these things.Not only that, but their experience of another language and culture could aid them in their understanding of the language. This is because enables them to see it from a different perspective and gives them additional tools for analysing its construction and its assumptions.It would be presumptuous to assume that someone is going to be poor at speaking English because they come from a country where it isn’t the first language.Similarly, you assume that someone isn’t socially aware just because they’re autistic. Indeed to make such an assumption would be to betray a certain lack of social awareness.</article></body>

How Autism Can Make You More Socially Astute

And why you shouldn’t assume someone is socially incompetent just because they’re autistic

Autism isn’t generally associated with being socially aware.

Instead, it is usually defined, at least to a not insubstantial degree, by a distinct lack of social awareness.

This includes difficulty with reading facial expressions, taking what people say too literally, and inadvertently breaking social codes and conventions, as is a general tendency to misread social cues that are apparent to neurotypicals in big bold letters.

Now, I am not saying that autistic people cannot struggle with these things. As a group and as individuals we quite evidently can and do. I have struggled with all of the above a great deal myself.

Therefore there are some perfectly legitimate reasons for this association.

But

However, this association is not necessarily as simple or straightforward as many would like to imagine.

The reality is far more nuanced.

It is perfectly possible for autistic people to be really rather astute when navigating social situations.

In fact, I would go even further than that.

I would submit that autism, in some circumstances, can confer great social advantages. Harnessed properly, and neurodiversity can be leveraged in the social arena rather effectively.

Why

Whilst certain aspects of socialising don’t tend to come as naturally to us autistics as they do to our neurotypical peers, this can paradoxically be an advantage.

Many autistic people are bloody great when it comes to pattern-seeking and pattern-spotting. That’s why a great number of our sort are drawn to maths and the sciences.

It is possible for autistics to leverage the edge they have over non-autistics when discerning patterns and apply it to the oft-confusing realm of human relations.

This is an area of life in which there are patterns that can be discerned. To some degree, it can even be systematised.

Now, it should be said that these patterns are not always immediately obvious or easy to discern — especially to people like me.

Nevertheless, if one looks carefully enough, they can be found.

Social dynamics is also an area that can be studied. There is no shortage of books on subjects such as body language, socialising, and so on. It is not beyond the wit of those on the spectrum to learn how to win friends and influence people.

So when you combine an autistic love of study with an autistic talent for spotting patterns, those on the spectrum can acquire and develop a great deal of skill in this area.

It is helpful that emotional intelligence is far less fixed than intelligence of an intellectual sort. It is a muscle that can be strengthened.

Not easy

This doesn’t necessarily mean that this is an easy thing for autistic people to do.

For us, socialising usually requires a substantial amount of effort and concentration.

The metaphor I often like to use is that as an autistic person, I have had to teach myself to manually use a map to get where I want to go, whilst non-autistics have a sat nav at their disposal.

The latter requires much less cognitive effort. That’s why many autistic people find socialising very tiring indeed. It’s not that we don’t necessarily enjoy it. It just takes an awful lot of energy.

Paradox

We do not possess the ability to take a mental shortcut in the way that neurotypicals can and in some ways this is certainly a distinct disadvantage. Nevertheless, it isn’t a disadvantage in every way.

Though it is more difficult and more resource-intensive in terms of cognitive energy to read a map manually, in some ways it is superior to and more advantageous than using the sat nav.

It means you have to study the map in more detail and think far more carefully about where you’re going. We go deeper into the available information because we’re forced to. That’s the only way we can interpret it. This means we collect more data points. When married with our analytical prowess these extra data points can enable us to spot patterns in social behaviour that most neurotypicals would miss This can add depth and richness to our social understanding that most people do not possess.

It’s not that neurotypicals cannot learn to read a map manually by the way. But because they have their sat nav they don’t usually need to and so therefore don’t bother.

Not every autistic person can learn to read a map in this way either. Other autistic people just don’t want to for perfectly legitimate reasons.

Big fat caveat

In this article, I am talking about being socially astute in the specific context of interactions with neurotypicals.

It should be said that when interacting with each other autistics do not tend to encounter many of the issues they face with interacting with people who aren’t on the spectrum.

It should also be said that non-autistics can be utterly woeful at understanding autistic people. Indeed, very often they are just as bad if not worse than autistic people are at understanding non-autistics. This is known as the double empathy problem.

I don’t accept the premise that neurotypical communication is inherently superior to autistic communication.

What I’m saying here is that autistic people can become more adept at neurotypical communication than the neurotypicals themselves. They can play neurotypicals at their own game and win handsomely.

Final thoughts

There are autistic people who have developed the ability to navigate the neurotypical social arena with great acuity while there are plenty of non-autistics who are completely socially unaware.

For autistic people learning to communicate with neurotypicals is akin to learning a second language.

It is a second language that many of us are forced to learn because it is the lingua franca. More people speak it, so it is useful to know. Some autistics have little or no proficiency in it. Some have the basics down. Some are intermediates. Some are fluent, while others acquire native proficiency.

In the UK there are foreigners who have much better English than native speakers of the language. They have much better grammar and a far more extensive vocabulary.

This could be due to a keen intellect or a natural linguistic talent. It could be because they’ve just worked particularly hard at improving their English skills. It could be down to a combination of all these things.

Not only that, but their experience of another language and culture could aid them in their understanding of the language. This is because enables them to see it from a different perspective and gives them additional tools for analysing its construction and its assumptions.

It would be presumptuous to assume that someone is going to be poor at speaking English because they come from a country where it isn’t the first language.

Similarly, you assume that someone isn’t socially aware just because they’re autistic. Indeed to make such an assumption would be to betray a certain lack of social awareness.