How Asian Dads Motivate Their Kids

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conditioning?So I agreed, panicked, and called my dad for a motivational speech. Worst idea I’ve had in a while. Why? Cos getting an Asian parent to give encouraging words of wisdom is like a rainbow unicorn. It doesn’t exist.Asking an Asian parent for an inspirational and motivational speech is more like the equivalent of getting a proverbial slap in the face and being told to get a grip. It looks a bit like this…Me: Hey, Dad, guess what? I got asked to give a talk to other teachers for a uni thing. I’m not sure I can do it.Dad: What you mean? Can’t do it. Why? (enter monologue) Ai yah, I teach you what to do. You learn from me. See me? I give big speech, I think everyone below me. They are nothing. You think they are nothing. You are the best.Me: Uh, I don’t think that will work for me. Plus, you’ve never done talks before, Dad. Your father-of-the-groom speech doesn’t count. And I have to do this without notes. What if I forget my words?Dad: You see me at your brother’s wedding? I look at people and pause and be confident. That’s what you must do. Ai yah, too easy. Just pretend you talking to your kids. And you are a teacher, no? If you can’t do this, you are a failure. What kind of teacher are you? (Steven He’s emotional damage is blaring in my head at this point).M

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e: It’s not easy, Dad. I get nervous. And anyway, gotta go… um, pick up the kids… (time to wrap up and make a quick exit)Dad: … (blah, blah, blah…). Send me a video of your talk and I’ll tell you if you are good or not.Me: Sure, Dad. (Hell. No.)So you see, never ask an Asian, especially from the older generation, for words of encouragement. It doesn’t exist in their vocabulary. Unless, of course, you’re a psychological masochist, and emotional damage is your preferred form of motivation.How did I go with my talk? Despite my dad’s kick in the proverbial butt, I did fine. A few moments of churning guts, shaky hands, and sweaty pits, but I got through it.Is there a video? Sure is. But if my dad asks, there was a technical glitch, so it wasn’t recorded. Such a shame…I am a creative writer and storytelling enthusiast sharing snippets of my journey through parenting and life. I aim to empower, inspire and ignite laughter by sharing my experiences.If you enjoyed reading this, please consider supporting me by signing up to become a Medium member and sharing the below link with your family and friends.<a href="https://medium.com/@knj.home.blog/membership">Click here to signup and support Kathy from KN J Tales and Snippets!</a></article></body>

Ever watched Steven He’s skits on Asian parenting? His depictions of what it’s like being raised by Asian parents are hilarious, cringeworthy, and brutally honest.

Anyone who knows me will know that I hate public speaking. I would rather go to the dentist than talk in front of strangers. Have my tooth ripped out without any anaesthesia? Sure, sounds like a walk in the park compared to being under the scrutiny of others while word vomiting.

So, when I was asked by my lecturer to co-present at the university’s teaching conference, my answer should have been a resounding no. Instead, I ended up blurting out a chipper-sounding yes.

Why did I agree to public speaking when the mere thought sends my guts churning like I’ve eaten week old chicken? Besides enjoying psychological masochism, a big part of me thinks that life is just too short to have hang-ups.

Plus, how will I ever get over it without some form of classical conditioning?

So I agreed, panicked, and called my dad for a motivational speech. Worst idea I’ve had in a while. Why? Cos getting an Asian parent to give encouraging words of wisdom is like a rainbow unicorn. It doesn’t exist.

Asking an Asian parent for an inspirational and motivational speech is more like the equivalent of getting a proverbial slap in the face and being told to get a grip. It looks a bit like this…

Me: Hey, Dad, guess what? I got asked to give a talk to other teachers for a uni thing. I’m not sure I can do it.

Dad: What you mean? Can’t do it. Why? (enter monologue) Ai yah, I teach you what to do. You learn from me. See me? I give big speech, I think everyone below me. They are nothing. You think they are nothing. You are the best.

Me: Uh, I don’t think that will work for me. Plus, you’ve never done talks before, Dad. Your father-of-the-groom speech doesn’t count. And I have to do this without notes. What if I forget my words?

Dad: You see me at your brother’s wedding? I look at people and pause and be confident. That’s what you must do. Ai yah, too easy. Just pretend you talking to your kids. And you are a teacher, no? If you can’t do this, you are a failure. What kind of teacher are you? (Steven He’s emotional damage is blaring in my head at this point).

Me: It’s not easy, Dad. I get nervous. And anyway, gotta go… um, pick up the kids… (time to wrap up and make a quick exit)

Dad: … (blah, blah, blah…). Send me a video of your talk and I’ll tell you if you are good or not.

Me: Sure, Dad. (Hell. No.)

So you see, never ask an Asian, especially from the older generation, for words of encouragement. It doesn’t exist in their vocabulary. Unless, of course, you’re a psychological masochist, and emotional damage is your preferred form of motivation.

How did I go with my talk? Despite my dad’s kick in the proverbial butt, I did fine. A few moments of churning guts, shaky hands, and sweaty pits, but I got through it.

Is there a video? Sure is. But if my dad asks, there was a technical glitch, so it wasn’t recorded. Such a shame…

I am a creative writer and storytelling enthusiast sharing snippets of my journey through parenting and life. I aim to empower, inspire and ignite laughter by sharing my experiences.

If you enjoyed reading this, please consider supporting me by signing up to become a Medium member and sharing the below link with your family and friends.