How Are You Really
It’s OKAY to not be OKAY
One of the most important aspects of being human is the fact that we have feelings. All-day long. From childhood, we are taught to stop being sad or to hold in our anger. But these emotions always find a way to leak out. Sometimes in the form of self-criticism or depression.
Some of us are not doing so well, some of us are in a lot of pain. We have some joy, some hope, some faith, some love but we also have some fear, some anger, and some sadness, and it’s overwhelming in ways that we don’t want it to be.
If I could ask someone today, I would love to ask them;
“How are you doing, really?” and “How are you really feeling, today?”.
I don’t know if this question will make a huge difference to each of us but I do feel that everybody has different emotions and feelings that can not be described – sometimes.
Express Your Feeling
Do you feel anxious, fed up, stressed, lonely, saturated, indignant, worried, confused, emotionally drained, empty, nervous, and scared?
or
Do you feel optimistic, relaxed, calm, proactive, happy, outstanding, confident, content, or alive?
But hey, you know what?
It’s OKAY for us to not be OKAY!
If you ask me ‘how are you?’ and I say ‘fine’.
And you ask me again to make sure,
‘ How is it really with you today?’
And I would tell you; that question breaks my heart and makes me cry. But it’s OK. I must cry because crying is good for the eyes and the soul.
Every time someone asks me this question lately, I feel a sense of confusion, occasionally followed by a rising frustration.
Was something wrong? No. But was I really OK? I’m….not sure!
I’m not fine. But my rational brain couldn’t latch on to a good enough reason why I am not fine at this very moment, so I tell others (and myself) that I am fine.
But I have an underlying unease that I can’t fully shake. I have days where I feel completely unmotivated or unfocused, and even small acts of productivity seem like a herculean effort. Then there are other days where I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude and joy at the sight of flowers blooming. The problem was, I never knew when my feelings would switch.
There are a lot of underlying and very subjective answers to say good or I’m doing well but no one really gets the bottom of it.
Honestly, I’m confused!
I live in one of the most expensive cities in the world. I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t know if I’m going to actually make a difference. So I’m kind of just in a really weird headspace of what the heck am I doing. I like being alive but I’m confused.
I’m terrible!
I just have a lot going on.
I’m struggling!
I am really struggling with a lot of things in my life.
I’m sad!
Because no matter how much I try nothing works in my favor and even the strong get tired as well.
I have to get the pain out and have to make peace. I’m not going to make peace if I keep saying ‘fine’. It’s just superficial.
I’m scared!
That I’m gonna just work 6 am to 10 pm for the rest of my life and not do anything I want. I’m currently happy but I want to figure out how to set myself up long-term to be happy – and that’s why I’m here, writing this story.
Sometimes – I’m doing good but I feel like I could be doing better. I’m just kind of trying to figure out my place in this world and trying to see where that goes.
It’s hard to choose the you that you want to pursue.
I think people will have a different story when we ask them this tough question and I think not many people would answer with fine – if this question hits them in some areas of their life.
When people say ‘are you fine?’ No, I’m not fine. So why do I say I am fine?
You know, try to get behind that. That ‘fine’ is very often just a cover.
We need to learn to acknowledge our emotions and to be compassionate and kind to ourselves when these feelings arise. And you will learn an important lesson in life: how to reveal and heal what you feel.
Just being honest about how you’re feeling is the best thing you can do for people because it gives them an idea of what you’re going through and you don’t have to suffer in silence.
If you can’t keep it to yourself, it would be better to open up and talk to your parent, dear friend, or anyone near you that willing to be open about it and accept you for it.
So how are you, really?