How Analyzing Your Impulses Can Improve Your Life

A reflection inspired by the Stoics.

I have this book called The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday. For each day of the year, there is a meditation from one of the great Stoic philosophers: Seneca, Aurelius, Epictetus, etc., followed by a reflective passage from author Ryan Holiday.

It’s a wonderful book and has incited in me myriad deep dives into the human condition. Here’s one I find particularly important:

“We would never let another person jerk us around the way our impulses do. It’s time we start seeing it that way — that we’re not puppets that can make to dance this way or what way just because we feel like it. We should be the ones in control, not our emotions because we are independent, self-sufficient people.” -Ryan Holiday, The Daily Stoic

Now for an inception of reflection. Ryan reflected on the words of the stoics and now I’m reflecting on the words of Ryan. Whoa.

I used to be impulsive to the extreme. I didn’t see the problem with doing what I wanted when I wanted. Recently, someone important in my life asked me why I’ve done certain things, and he was not satisfied with the answer “because I wanted to.” The conversation made me take a deeper look into the implications of my impulses.

Impulse is the irresponsible sibling of instinct.

An instinctual, intuitive response to something can be crucial to survival. I’m fairly confident following my intuition has saved my life a few times. My impulses, however, have landed me in a world of trouble. Our impulses encourage action without thought, thought without reason.

I used to think being impulsive meant having fun. Living on a whim. The key to avoiding a boring life.

But I was confusing impulsiveness with spontaneity.

There’s a key difference between being spontaneous and being impulsive, and it’s that spontaneity allows the mind time to consider the impact of the action before making the decision whereas impulse does not.

Not only does impulse not consider the impact, it doesn’t care. It’s that surface friend who’s fun to party with, but who would stab you in the back given half a chance.

I’ve started to analyze my impulses when they arise to determine why I want something rather than blindly justifying the want itself. Of course, we will want, we’re human. But the reason for wanting something is much more interesting than the want itself.

Impulse buying, for example; at the moment it feels like we need that thing. That outfit, that gadget, that accessory. That’s the trickery of impulse.

It tricks us into thinking we need something that is merely a want.

Temptation will always be there. A nice, healthy salad will never be as tempting as a slice of chocolate cake. Just as the idea of a new, exciting sexual conquest often holds more allure than comfortable lovemaking with a long-term partner.

Impulse thrives on instant gratification, and it doesn’t care one iota about the implications.

That delicious chocolate cake spikes your blood sugar and leaves you to deal with the crash. Any pleasure in an unfaithful act is a blip on the radar compared to the guilt and regret that will almost definitely follow it.

It’s good practice when we want something, to ask ourselves why we want it. The answer “because I do” is not good enough. And until you can give yourself a better reason — resist.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this piece, you can find more of my work at Ashley J.J. White. I’m on Twitter and Instagram at the same handle. If you really liked this piece, buy me a coffee! https://ko-fi.com/ashleyjjwhite

If you’re not yet a Medium member and you want to be, click here to join using my referral link: https://medium.com/@ashleyjjwhite/membership

Your membership fee directly supports me and other writers you read. You’ll also get full access to every story on Medium.