How Acts of Kindness Can Help You Move Past Your Grief

What helped me work through my toughest loss.

It was a Tuesday in July 2007 when I lost my soulmate. We were both at work and had a brief telephone conversation about how stupid one of our friends was acting. Neither of us had much time, so we said only a few words. We made plans for dinner and each hung up.

Less than an hour later, she was gone. Losing her was the worst experience of my life.

The act of grieving is a slow process, and the worst of it often comes in waves. During the worst days, I learned a valuable lesson about how to cope with grief and the worst days life throws at you.

Acts of Kindness

One of the best ways to wrestle with your emptiness and pain is to get busy doing acts of kindness for those in need. The ache inside doesn’t go away completely, but having a purposeful task to concentrate on relieves some of the internal downward spiral.

For me, I’ve always enjoyed reading to the elderly. One of the finest gifts God gave me was the ability to read well. In the last 30 years, I’ve spent thousands of hours reading to those who struggled to read for themselves.

When my grief was the hardest to face, I got busy again. I looked for ways to help others, and I did what I could.

“Well done is better than well said.” — Benjamin Franklin

Do What You Can

If you have a mental illness, there are days you’re limited in what you can do. With the exception of the worst days, I could still read. So I visited my older friends, let them select the reading material, and dedicated more time to making their lives a little better.

A marvelous gift happened along the way. Several of my older friends knew the pain I was suffering as they had lived through similar grief. I read to them, and they shared their wisdom. I’m not sure I could have gotten through the worst of those days without them.

For today, think of a kind act you can do for someone else. It can be as simple as sending a card or even a text message. Find one person today who needs your encouragement, and shower them with all the time and attention you can.

Go Deeper

Use these prompts to help you dive deeper into this subject. If they inspire you to write a Medium story, please come back and leave a link to your post as a comment.

Journal Prompt: Make a list of people you know who could use your help. What could you do to make their lives better? What’s the kindest thing that’s ever been done for you?

Creative Writing Prompt: An older man is surprised when a group of young people show up at his house to attend to some long-overdue chores. At the end of the day, to express his appreciation, he tells them a story. Write that story.

Until next time, keep fighting.

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