How About A World Without Races?

Summary

The article humorously proposes extreme and satirical measures to eliminate racial distinctions and the concept of race altogether.

Abstract

In a satirical take on the issue of racial division, the article suggests four radical solutions to eradicate the concept of race from society. The author facetiously recommends blinding babies at birth to prevent them from seeing color, separating the melanin gene to ensure uniform skin color, removing all colors from the world except brown, and eliminating all languages to stop verbal communication about race. The piece mocks the intensity of current racial tensions by presenting these outlandish solutions as if they were serious proposals.

Opinions

The author believes that current efforts to address racial division are ineffective, as evidenced by ongoing societal issues such as protests and unequal treatment.
The article implies that the perception of color is the root cause of racial division and suggests that removing the ability to see color would solve the problem.
By proposing the separation of the melanin gene, the author sarcastically suggests that society should enforce a uniform skin color to avoid racial distinctions.
The idea of eliminating all colors except brown from the world is a hyperbolic statement on the need to remove diversity in order to achieve racial harmony.
The author's suggestion to abolish all languages and communicate solely through Braille reflects a cynical view of language as a vehicle for perpetuating racial discourse.
The satirical tone indicates that the author views the current state of race relations as absurd and in need of drastic, albeit impractical, solutions.

Satire: Solutions only an idiot would pass up

We live in a time of great division by Race. Everything seems to come down to race.

If a Black man gets bad service it because he’s Black.

If a White man gets the promotion, it’s because he’s White.

If the Jewish man wins the award, it’s because he’s a Jew.

Cities are burning, people are protesting, cities are kowtowing, White people are kneeling, and on and on.

People are trying to improve matters but nothing is working.

I have some foolproof solutions. If you do these things, race will be a thing of the past. No longer will we look at people and judge them according to race.

1. Blind babies at birth. This has to be done at the same time as they get their shots. It’s measles, mumps, rubella, and blindness. Who sees colour when they’re blind? I don’t know why no one has thought of this before.

2. Separate the melanin gene. This is just in case some people get their sight back. We have to decide as a society what colour we’re going to be and everyone gets to be that colour. I say a light brown, similar to a black/white mixed-race person. White people like to tan so they’ll be good with it. Brown people will be fine because nothing really changes. Only those who are dark brown or as black as two nights might have an issue, but it’s unlikely that they’ll know since they’ll be blind. This is a genius-level solution.

3. Eliminate other colours from the world. If it isn’t brown, it’s gone. No red roses or yellow daffodils. No blue jays or multi-coloured peacocks. Not even green leaves. If it isn’t brown, it’s got to go. Figure out a way to make it happen. I’m not talking about murder here. I’m talking about phasing out. Any colourful animals or plants are allowed to exist until they die. In the meantime we introduce brown animals and plants of the species and see that they are fruitful and multiply. Let’s get science on this now.

4. Race must be eliminated from all languages. Actually we should eliminate all languages. There will be no more talking. We will read and write in Braille. Any books that currently refer to race should be burned. New books in Braille will not mention race or colour at all. We will communicate in the written form only. Our ears will be free from hateful and divisive race dogma. Brilliant.

These well-thought out solutions will be passed on to the powers that be for speedy implementation. Look for this to happen near you soon.

In the meantime, smell the roses, and sing your heart out. You soon won’t be able to. And learn to read Braille. Might as well get a head start.