How a Woman Business Leader’s Life Changed When They Diagnosed Her Autistic at Age 38
Her masking of neuro-divergence to fit into society left her mentally exhausted
Society does not bend or bow to accommodate the unique needs of people with autism; it expects autistic people to fit in somehow.
Society’s strict and insensitive workplace norms compel autistic workers to mask their autism-related shortcomings and show neurotypical behaviour.
Tara McMullin is a writer, coach and podcaster. She never knew she was autistic until she was 38 years old. But she knew she had to struggle to cope with her neurodivergent brain’s quirks and oddities.
She worked in a state of denial. She thought she had to walk the extra mile to be a charismatic business leader.
Her autistic symptoms both aided and thwarted her career. Autism gifted her hyperfocus, pattern recognition ability, written communication skills and systems thinking. But autism interfered in her social interactions as she struggled with verbal processing delays, overstimulation, recognising emotion and social cues.
Tara’s autism diagnosis was a moment of freedom
Tara’s belated autism diagnosis proved to be a moment of liberation. She recognised how hard she had been on herself trying to cater to society’s social norms. She felt liberated from the compulsive need to pretend to be someone she was not.
Tara realised she was masking her real nature to be a successful businesswoman. She refers to a 2019 study that stated how consistent camouflaging could lead to losing people’s sense of identity, experiencing low self-esteem, and generally feeling like a fake. Masking is also associated with burnout, a consequence she knew too well.
Tara refers to psychologist Arlie Russell Hochschild who pointed out how “feeling rules” of job descriptions like “service with a smile” and “the customer is always right” forced people to do emotional labour to fit into their jobs.
Tara realised she had been engaging in emotional labour by trying to mask her real nature so she could come out as a competent business leader.
How Tara’s autism diagnosis liberated her
Tara took charge of her life once she realised her autistic nature. She no longer felt the need to act out as a social conformist. She told people about her condition fearlessly and expected them to accommodate her concerns and preferences.
Being an independent businesswoman, Tara was lucky to be able to assert her neurodivergent nature. For example, she could decline Zoom meetings and ask for asynchronous interactions on her terms. She could tell people, “I’m autistic, and here’s what you can expect. . . .”
Closing thoughts
Tara makes a passionate appeal to employers to accommodate the needs of autistic people. People should realise camouflaging autism-related symptoms will lead to worker burnout. She says,
“We shouldn’t have to prioritize “everybody else” at the expense of losing ourselves at work. My sincere hope is that all autistic people would have the chance to work in an environment that not only accepts us for who we are, but sees our unique traits as strengths.”
It’s time society and workplaces stopped forcing neurotypical behaviour on autistic people. Employers should harness the strengths of autistic people and accommodate their weaknesses to create an inclusive community.
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