How A Visually Impaired Man Inappropriately Touched Me

And I still felt sorry for him

My heart went out to Francis the minute I met him. He had become visually impaired at the age of three following a domestic accident. He asked if I could travel with him on the bus to a meeting that we were both attending in town. I hadn’t planned on taking the bus but really wanted to help him so I changed my plans.

As we boarded the bus, he rubbed up against me. It made me feel uncomfortable but immediately after, I felt guilty. He couldn’t see me, he didn’t know I was there. It was only normal that he had run into me by mistake.

He called me another time and asked for help to take the bus again. Again I acquiesced, and again he brushed up against my breasts. And again I chastised myself for thinking that he was doing this intentionally.

One day as we were walking, he asked if I was interested in picking up running again. I told him that I had stopped because of pain in my knee but that I might pick up the sport again since I felt better.

He told me that my running shoes were probably to blame for the knee pain and recommended a new, reputable Swiss-made shoe that would lessen the impact of running on my knees.

The information immediately piqued my interest. He warned me that it was best I tried the shoe before purchasing it due to its high price, and proposed that I loan a pair of his for a few weeks.

“Come over to my place to pick up the shoes”, he offered.

I felt uncomfortable borrowing someone else’s shoes and politely declined.

Little did I know that that decision probably saved me from a very unpleasant situation.

I continued to assist Francis, but the number of times he inadvertently ran into me began to make me very uncomfortable.

We had a bit of a misunderstanding and I used the opportunity to no longer engage with him.

I did feel guilty as I often saw him walking to the bus stop or climbing onto the bus visibly stressed by the whole ordeal.

Fast forward two months later.

I went out for drinks with an acquaintance from the Democratic Republic of Congo. We realized we knew a couple of the same people. She had met Francis a while back and warned me to be careful around him. I was curious and asked about her experience with him.

She explained that he had brushed up against her several times. On two occasions he explicitly came on to her and at one point said:

“You know, visually impaired individuals have some great sexual skills. They have heightened awareness, and I can guarantee you’ll have a great time if you have sex with me”.

My friend was surprised by his proposal and turned him down. She was even more disgusted because he was married and had 3 young children.

As she described her experience, I realized that if I had gone to his home to try on his sports shoes, he would probably have come on to me.

How would I have been able to defend myself given that I had voluntarily gone with him to his home?

What this story has taught me is that people with disabilities can also be manipulative and badly intended. It makes me feel guilty to even write this sentence, but the reality is that it is true.

I had sympathy for Francis, and I actually trusted him immediately because I felt so sorry for him.

It turns out that he used his visual impairment to brush up against me several times. All along he had sexual intentions.

The other day I ran into his wife in town. She ignored me and didn’t say so much as a “Hello”.

I remember a time when I actually thought that we could be friends. I didn’t think she’d have anything to worry about because I thought that Francis was an honest man.

Now I wondered how many times he had probably cheated on her using his disability to gain sympathy.

I wondered if she was aware of that or not.

In the end, though, I’m just relieved that I avoided becoming prey for her husband and his “roving eyes”, no pun intended.

Thank you for reading my perspective.