How A Toxic Workplace Changed My Work Ethic
I Thought I Was Supposed To Be Miserable At Work
My father never got to retire, instead, he worked until he couldn’t anymore. I didn’t understand at the time, but this led me to develop a great sense of work ethic. I was the type of worker who didn’t call in, even when work was draining me mentally and physically.
I knew I had to work to support myself, so for many years, I took abuse from both employers and customers. I tolerated things I shouldn’t have to keep jobs that treated me poorly. I’ve allowed managers to yell at me or speak to me in disrespectful ways. I’ve been harassed by male customers and coworkers who don’t take rejection well, cursed out by customers who don’t like a store policy/price and hit with a car door by a customer who didn’t want to wait in line to get his oil changed. I’ve had customers tell me things like they pay my salary, and witnessed customers lying to gain discounts. I’ve even had customers tell me things like I didn’t deserve whatever I was being paid, even though they didn’t know what I was being paid.
Speaking of money, I’ve experienced many times when I barely earned enough to cover my bills. It always disgusted me I worked so many hours and had nothing to show for it. I couldn’t afford a house or a new car, and sometimes I couldn’t even afford to treat myself to Starbucks. Despite this, there were managers and others in the same field as I was who didn’t understand this. I remember one manager who took issue with the fact that I couldn’t afford a pair of black shoes. She put a Payless coupon in my till before giving it to me to count. I explained to her I still couldn’t afford it and I would not neglect my rent so that I could buy black shoes, which had recently been penciled into the dress code.
I felt trapped and hopeless while working that job, so I kept filling out applications. Luckily, I got hired at a job where I made a commission. There was a bit of fighting over sales, but it was a thousand times better than the job I’d left. Eventually, I switched jobs a few more times and had both positive and negative experiences.
My work ethic didn’t change until recently, after working the worst job I’ve ever had. They hired me in a full-time position with a starting pay of 13 dollars per hour, and this didn’t sit well with most of my coworkers. They all seemed to know how much I was making, even though I had told no one, and this soon became an issue for me. I would get called to the office for little things, like not helping a customer get something off the top shelf in another department when I hadn’t been helping that customer, nor did I know they existed and needed help. I also wasn’t trained properly, because my department lead didn’t want to help someone who was making ‘so much money’. My hourly rate was discussed every time they brought me into the office, and I was told things like I wasn’t worth what I was making.
I was even yelled at for not coming in on my only day off, and I felt like I couldn’t ask for days off. Whenever I put in a request for time off, my manager ‘didn’t see it’ despite me submitting it on the computer and in person. Two of my dogs passed away during my time at this job, but I feared I would get in trouble if I called in. I didn’t miss a single day of work the entire first eight months that I worked there.
Things only got worse for me whenever one of my coworkers took an interest in me. I thought he was just being friendly, so I added him to Xbox, but he had something else in mind. He always brought our conversations to places they didn’t belong, and he was becoming possessive of me. He would interrupt me whenever I was speaking to a male coworker or give the male coworker an assignment. He asked me out twice, but I always said no. After I rejected him, he began insulting me or sending me videos of people buying and using drugs. He was no longer attempting to be friendly, as he threatened my safety.
I went to management and was told things like I had led him on or that sometimes when a woman accuses a man, people automatically believe her. The home office also wanted to know why I thought he liked me. I had an entire list of reasons, but the question surprised me. The way my workplace was handling things disgusted me. It didn’t matter that they didn’t like me, I deserved a safe work environment.
I wasn’t provided with one, as I was forced to make sure I didn’t leave at the same time as he did. I was afraid that he would follow me home. I also began putting my drink in my locker, as he had ‘made a joke’ about someone putting something in it. I didn’t feel safe at my workplace anymore, and I began calling in whenever I had to work closely with him. My managers didn’t care about my safety and wellbeing, so it wasn’t a surprise that they didn’t take Covid-19 seriously. The only thing they cared about was their profits, so I am grateful that I no longer work there.
I realized the job had been taking a toll on me, both mentally and physically, but offering very little in terms of reward. I went from being the perfect worker to being someone who won’t allow herself to be mistreated at work. Never again will I stick around at a job where I feel unsafe, no matter how much money it makes me. Having such a negative working experience helped me to realize that my mental well-being and personal safety are worth more than a paycheck.
Next time you see a ‘Now Hiring’ sign, please don’t think of the people who refuse to work there as lazy. They are sick of being treated the way I was treated. People want to work; they don’t want to be abused while doing so.
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