How a Problem With My Instagram Account Dictated My Mood for Weeks

And I didn’t even know it until it was fixed.

Social media is more trouble than it’s worth. Sure, it’s fun and useful sometimes, but it can also be damaging, anxiety-inducing, and addictive.

It took a couple of years of Facebook use to realise that it was all-consuming and negatively affecting me. I didn’t like how it made me feel like I had to constantly keep up with everything going on in everyone else’s lives.

Too bad I was barely living mine.

I would wake up every day and scroll through my newsfeed until I’d seen everything I’d missed. That became impossible at some point when the algorithm changed. Although it bugged me at the time, it was probably for the best because it was no longer possible for me to see everything new that had been posted, and eventually, I stopped trying.

And honestly, did I ever really care that a person I knew 25 years ago ate a chicken wrap for lunch (and decided to post a close-up pic of the half-eaten thing)?

No. No, I did not.

Did I really need to waste my time in a mum’s Facebook group where people bitched about Kmart selling out of an item they wanted before they got the chance to buy it? (I got kicked out of that one for not being active enough — the funny thing is, I was the biggest lurker, sitting there with popcorn in hand, having a good laugh.)

No. No, I did not.

Instagram became much of the same. I scoffed at those who posted pictures and updates about every single facet of their lives. And yet, there I was, constantly consuming all of it.

Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing posts and updates from the ones I love, but my accounts are also filled with plenty of people I give no shits about. Why not just delete them? You ask because I don’t need that drama.

Once, a lady I unfriended (and I thought was well and truly gone from my life) popped up at a dinner with friends and asked me why I deleted her. I didn’t have the energy to explain that the racist bullshit she posted was offensive. I could’ve gone on in an attempt to educate her on the fact that one side of my family is Indigenous, and the things she posts are not only offensive to Indigenous people but should be offensive to anyone on the planet who believes in treating all people as human.

That would’ve been mentally draining and probably would’ve ended with me crying into my pillow later that night and dwelling on the things I said, didn’t say, should’ve said — for days, weeks, months, possibly for many, many years.

Plus, people like that usually don’t want to learn or listen to others, letting them know their words and actions are hurtful. It ends up being a discussion that gets nowhere and results in more harm towards the person affected by it all, to begin with.

Nope. No, thanks.

All things considered, right now, it’s best I simply don’t spend a whole lot of time on social media.

So then why keep my accounts at all?

Because I’m a freelance writer and editor, most of my clients have found me via my business social media accounts. I’m grateful for that, at least. I’ve even made some really lovely friends through social media. But the rest of it is a big fat waste of time.

What I’ve learned is that the key is to set boundaries around daily usage, and everything’s been fine and dandy as long as I also take longer breaks from it now and then too.

But, given my general disdain for it all, I was surprised by my intense frustration when my business Instagram account stopped working.

I’m constantly moaning about how social media sucks, so why did this bother me so much?

Was it anxiety at work?

Almost 10 years ago, I was diagnosed with severe generalised anxiety disorder (GAD).

I’ve come a long way since then and can usually recognise triggers soon enough for me to do something about it before I’m crushed under the weight of it all and can’t function.

But sometimes it’s sneaky, and it grows slowly, and I don’t realise how bad it is until I feel relief in some way.

That’s exactly what happened when my Instagram account stopped working. It stopped working on the same day our home internet conked it, so I thought the two were related.

No worries, I’ll just wait until the internet’s back and see what happens, I thought.

I could still log in to my account, so I continued trying to like and comment on people’s posts and follow people back, but I’d just get this message pop up about how Instagram was protecting its community.

Whaaaat? From me?

Every time I’d see that little message pop up, it would trigger many negative thoughts.

What have I done wrong?

Why am I being punished?

I’m just a mum with a small following who posts about books and writing. Why is this happening to me?

It took just over a week for our home internet problem to be fixed. But my Instagram account was still not working (I don’t think I ever really believed it would be fixed when my internet was working again, but since I’d read that the use of many different IP addresses could be a problem, I didn’t want to do too much until we started using a new internet connection and a more permanent IP address in case that was part of the issue).

I figured I’d message tech support on Instagram and get it fixed that way.

Erm. No.

Days passed by and nothing. No change to my account — still the annoying message about how I was a threat to the Instagram community popping up — and no response.

I became obsessed with research on how to fix it and read soooo many articles on the topic. I even tried messaging tech support via my business Facebook page since the accounts were connected, and I read that Facebook business support was usually quick to respond.

Still nothing.

Nearly a month passed by, all the while, I continued my research, sent more messages to tech support, my frustration a constant, and my irritation overflowing into my home life.

I was snappy and cranky and didn’t even realise the main cause.

Until I finally figured out the problem.

I tried to click on my Linktree link, and it didn’t work. I deleted the link from my bio, and voilà! Everything was working again. *Massive facepalm*

It was the simplest problem. And it had dictated my mood for weeks.

Once the problem was gone, a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, and I was actually … smiling. I hadn’t realised how bad I’d been feeling until I felt better and could look back and see that, shit, I wasn’t doing so good, and it was all because of a problem with social media.

Was social media the root of the problem?

Since this whole thing affected me so much, I started thinking, is social media at the root of this problem, or is it something else?

I recently watched The Social Dilemma, which was excellent, but I was already aware of social media addiction and how these companies make money by keeping us consuming.

I still acknowledge that social media is a problem for me (and for most people, let’s be real), but without deleting it all completely (maybe I’ll get there one day), I’ve reduced my usage a lot and don’t feel compelled to check constantly.

Sometimes I go days without taking a peek. When I finally do, it’s with purpose — to respond to friends, read some ‘news’ (I’m a sucker for trending topics on Twitter, which often helps form writing ideas, so we’ll stick that one in the okay basket for now) or to reach out with a writing question.

The real problem for me with my Instagram issue was a lack of control.

Apparently, “people with losing-control anxiety are perfectionists.” Ahhh yup. Furthermore, a study from 2014 states that: “Uncertainty diminishes how efficiently and effectively we can prepare for the future, and thus contributes to anxiety.”

The uncertainty around what the actual problem was with my account, having no clue how to fix it, and not getting in touch with anyone who could help me were the causes of my aggravation. I was doing what I could and trying to figure it out, but it still wasn’t enough, and I didn’t have any control over that.

And clearly, I wasn’t yet ready to ditch my account completely.

What could I have done better?

Suggestions from the 2014 study I mentioned earlier focus on taking an active approach to a problem that causes anxiety rather than ruminating and avoiding.

In many ways, I was taking an active approach by researching, trying different things with my account, and reaching out to tech support. The problem for me is that I can become obsessive until an issue is resolved, which can result in lack of sleep and less time spent on all the things I actually need to do in everyday life.

In this kind of situation, deep breathing and mindfulness don’t cut it for me.

I could have created a checklist of things to try and research and made my way through the checklist over time. I’m big on tick things off my to-do lists because it makes me feel satisfied and productive. If I’d tried this approach, my worry might not have led to obsession and rumination. I could’ve tried a couple of things a day rather than trying one thing after another with no luck and a lot of wasted time.

I also like the idea of planning worry time. Having specific time set aside to worry (and try things to fix the problem, in my case) would have permitted me to spend time on the issue, knowing that it wasn’t allowed to cut into the rest of my day.

Final thoughts

The whole conundrum has been a good thing, in a way. I haven’t jumped right back into posting on Instagram. Even though my use has been limited for a while now, I still felt the pressure to post on there regularly and maintain my ‘presence’.

My notifications are off and I’m feeling less stressed now that I’m not posting content all the time. Will I go back to posting again? Probably, but I’m not going to put so much time and effort into it that losing control of my account again would feel like a big loss.

Although my problem here had a lot to do with anxiety and control issues, social media is still a big problem. Basing a business around social media and relying on connecting with people that way, is a big problem.

My solution? Continuing to manage my usage, and seeking out solutions for my business that don’t rely on social media — perhaps I’ll start making a checklist of ideas …

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