How A Proactive City Clerk Helped Me Get Married

Summary

A proactive city clerk facilitated a couple's unexpected decision to get married while navigating Italy's complex bureaucracy.

Abstract

The narrative describes a couple's journey through Italy's notoriously challenging bureaucratic system to obtain a certificate of cohabitation. During their visit to the town hall, an insightful city clerk suggested they consider marriage instead, as it would grant them more legal rights with the same paperwork. The couple, initially unaware of the benefits of a marriage certificate, took the clerk's advice and decided to marry on a date that coincided with the narrator's birthday. The practical clerk's guidance led to an impromptu wedding and a celebration of their love, which they hadn't previously envisioned.

Opinions

The author initially perceived Italy's bureaucracy as slow and complicated, requiring extensive paperwork and absurd details, especially for foreigners.
The city clerk offered unsolicited but valuable advice, contrasting the inefficacy typically associated with bureaucratic processes.
The couple had reservations about the process but found the city clerk's practical approach and suggestion to marry both surprising and enlightening.
The city clerk expressed enthusiasm about the couple's decision to marry, suggesting they bring flowers and invite friends, indicating a personal investment in their happiness.
The author reflects on the spontaneous nature of their wedding as perfect and not something they had dreamt of, highlighting the positive impact of the clerk's intervention.

April 16

Italy is famous for its slow and complicated bureaucracy. For every action you take, like choosing a family doctor, or connecting the apartment to the grid, you will have to go through lots of red tape, and talk to people who ask for more absurd details. Things become worse if you come from another country, like my Belgian boyfriend.

After a few stressful encounters with all this paperwork, and aware that living together did not give us any rights, we decided to prepare the files for a certificate of cohabitation, an affidavit. This document states that two people are living together, but not that they are members of the same family.

We didn’t know what difference there was between that certificate and the marriage certificate. Yet, since we had a lot on questions, we prepared everything and went to the town hall.

There was an ordinary-looking woman waiting for us at the office.

We gave her the papers and she slowly checked everything. Then she decided to express her unsolicited opinion: ‘Why did you prepare all this stuff for a certificate which doesn’t give you any rights? With the same papers you could get married and both have more legal rights’, she said.

We were surprised. She explained to us the difference between the two certificates, and actually the marriage certificate was more suitable. We realized things were getting clearer, and we held hands since we felt an important moment was approaching.

She was a very practical woman, so she added: ‘Well, if you choose to get married you can have a five-minute ceremony, and you just need to book it now. Yet, we are fully booked for many weeks in advance. We only have one free spot twelve days from today. It’s on April 16.’

My boyfriend looked at me with a sweet smile and in a low voice he said: ‘It’s your birthday.’

I nodded, my hands trembling. We smiled at each other and said yes.

That’s when we decided to get married. We signed a new request. She was very happy and added something about the party: she said we should bring flowers and maybe invite some friends. I guess she was also excited.

We left the office in a completely different mood.

Later that evening we decided to inform our families, and after twelve days, on the day of my birthday, we got married. I never dreamt about getting married or about a dress or an engagement ring, it just happened the perfect way, spontaneous.

Tomorrow is April 16, my birthday and my third marriage anniversary.

Thank you Trista Signe Ainsworth for reminding us to celebrate love!

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