REAL LIFE

How a New Age Philosophy Cured My Road Rage

I am not a patient person.

I also used to have a tendency to run late, which would add anxiety to impatience when it came to sitting in traffic.

This is the perfect recipe for a scorching case of road rage, which used to impact my commute, and my life, daily. Until I learned about a simple philosophy, that was an absolute game-changer. The Law of Attraction.

The effects of road rage

Road rage, the outward expression of frustration while driving, can include a range of feelings and behaviours. Those behaviours will differ from person to person, but often include verbal insults, aggressive gesturing, honking, and dangerous driving. Extreme cases have even resulted in violence, property damage, and death.

People with reactive personalities, or those more prone to stress, may find they are more significantly affected.

Not only am I a fairly reactive person, but I was also chronically late. I had poor time management skills and never left myself a reasonable buffer to get where I was going. “Sure, I’ll be there in 15 minutes,” as I’m standing in a towel, staring at my closet. My commutes were filled with anger towards the drivers around me, and stress.

Now, I was what I would call an inside rager. Let me elaborate: I would scream, and swear, call them names, flail my arms and flip a bird or two, all from the confines of my car, windows up. For me, I just had to get it out. I didn’t need to destroy another human being in the process, even though I may have wanted to. And I had perfected my WTF is wrong with you? stare, for when I was finally able to pass them.

I would arrive at work flustered and frustrated, not able to focus on the tasks at hand, and as a result, my work would suffer. At the end of the day, my drive home would leave me raw and shaken from dealing with all the people I deemed terrible drivers en route. I would be too mentally preoccupied with my ordeal to be present with my family, handle my responsibilities, or simply unwind.

Despite making the lives of everyone else on the road miserable, road ragers feel victimized, as though their priorities and needs are more important than those of everyone else on the road. They need to get where they are going, you can wait.

Temporary solutions

Even though I would never take my beef with other drivers beyond my in-car shenanigans, I knew my road rage was still detrimental to both me and the other drivers. I came up with some management strategies that seemed to work for a while.

I kept an Enya CD in the car at all times. Enya is a recording artist who specializes in calming, ethereal, new-age music. I found it impossible to stay mad when this music was playing. Problem is, I found myself popping that CD into the player on the daily, and one can only take so much Enya! I still need my classic rock! This was not a reliable and permanent solution.

I also tried some of the more basic strategies of deep breathing or trying to focus on something else. Frankly, these didn’t work for me at all and I abandoned them pretty quickly.

The Law of Attraction

I came to know about the Law of Attraction through a friend who not only studied it but now coaches other people in applying it to their lives. You can learn a little more about it here.

The basic premise of the law of attraction is that you get back what you put out there, not unlike the concept of Karma. More specifically, it embraces the idea that all ‘thoughts’ eventually turn into ‘things’. By putting out negative energy, in the form of anger, frustration, and talking about the things that bring you down, you will draw negativity back towards yourself. If you put out your hopes and dreams, positive thoughts and energy, you will feel that come back to you from the world.

Now, it isn’t so literal to say that if you think of a million dollars often enough, you will get it. But it doesn’t preclude that notion either. As our thoughts generate follow-up thoughts and eventually lead to action, the law of attraction forces you to evaluate how your thoughts are impacting your actions, and how those actions will dictate the outcome.

How the Law of Attraction cured my road rage

Because thoughts lead to actions, I had to evaluate the thoughts I was having before, and during the experience of road rage. Because I was usually running late, I felt the panic and fear of looking irresponsible and unreliable. I also felt a great sense of entitlement, that my needs should supersede that of everyone else around me — which, rationally, I knew wasn’t true, but emotionally, felt kind of on the button. The overarching thought through all of this was “Why is this happening to me?”

Because my thoughts made me a victim, I, therefore, became one; a victim of my own negative thinking, and a victim of these drivers — who were clearly driving that way to make me late. My wise friend, who has fully integrated this philosophy into her life, challenged my thinking with one statement. Instead of wondering “why is this happening to me?” she encouraged me to ask myself “what is this here to teach me?”

A little louder for the people in the back:

Instead of thinking “why is this happening to me?” ask yourself “what is this trying to teach me?”

Boom! Game changed!

I’ve never had such a significant transformation in such a short period of time. I could immediately identify what these situations were trying to teach me.

Perhaps the person in front of me is having a terrible day; maybe they were just fired, maybe they recently lost a loved one. Whatever the reason, maybe they can’t be the best driver today because their world is falling apart. And maybe I needed to give them a break. Annoying drivers were there to teach me compassion.

The stress of sitting in traffic was trying to teach me to plan better; a congested road wasn’t making me late, my poor planning was. I should make sure I leave plenty of time to get where I’m going, plus an extra 15 minutes for the unexpected. I’m almost never late now.

And lastly, it taught me that me being late for a friend or work, while not ideal, would not be the end of the world. I recalled the time I was practically flying through the streets to get my infant son, in respiratory distress, to the hospital; that is when it’s ok to panic about how long everything takes. The fear was trying to help me understand priorities.

Thanks to my regular use of the Law of Attraction, I am a much calmer driver now. Although I do bust out the WTF face from time to time, it generally reminds me to take pause, and see what lesson I need to learn at that moment.

Takeaway

Your thoughts matter. They will determine your actions. By adjusting the way we think, we can manipulate the outcome and draw towards us that which we want to attract. The Law of Attraction can be integrated very easily into daily practice. To free yourself from unnecessary stress and frustration, change your thinking from “why is this happening to me” to “what can this teach me” and you will find that your perspective shifts from victimhood to understanding and acceptance. This approach cured my road rage, and I work to employ it in as many aspects of my life as I can. How will you use it to change your life?