AUGHT-A-MOTIF

Honest Car Slogans

I tell it like it is

Alfa-Romeo: Back in the US because hopefully everyone forgot how shitty our cars were the last time we tried selling them here.

Acura: We’re Honda with the emblem turned upside-down. And slightly better leather.

BMW: The more it cost, the more it’s going to be in the shop.

Buick: We still exist. I don’t know, some Chinese emperor or something.

Cadillac: The car your grandfather drove while beating your father savagely.

Chevrolet: If Ford didn’t stop making cars we’d totally be fucked.

Chrysler: The only dealer that already knows what you want, because we only sell one car.

Dodge: When you can’t get financed anywhere else, we’ll be here.

Ford: We know we can’t build a car for shit so we give up. Truck? :)

Fiat: Yeah Tony, I know I should have bought something else. Just fix it again.

GMC: Fuck cars.

Honda: Did you order a Lyft?

Hyundai: Our cars have gotten better but they’re still for losers.

Infinity: Our lineup of cars all looks the same so buy the cheap one and replace the number and save enough to buy two.

Jaguar:

Lexus: It’s like driving your couch.

Lincoln: We still exist? Are you sure?

Mazda: The rental car jackpot.

Mercedes Benz: Not as good as we used to be but people still buy it.

Subaru: Okay, swear to god we finally got the head gasket thing figured out. This time for sure.

Tesla: Elon says gas is for chumps. Sitting around charging for 3 hours is the future.

Toyota: Are you my Uber Driver?

Volvo: We used to build reliable cars that looked the the containers they were shipped in. Then we changed everything.

VW: Fuck you. We built the Beetle.