JOB SEARCHING

Honest and Phony Answers to Job Interview Questions

Human vs. robotic answers to the ridiculous questions interviewers ask prospective employees

A job interview is the best way to bring out your phony side.

If you want the job, that is.

Do you ever wonder how many people have told the God-honest truth in an interview and got the job? According to Forbes, 80 percent of workers have admitted to lying in job interviews. *85 percent of people with Master’s or doctoral degrees.

Of course, the keyword here is admitted–you and I both know 20 (*15) percent of people are liars. (And the smarter you are, the more you lie.)

Interviews aren’t my strong suit. That’s why I’m a freelancer. I’ve avoided awkward interview questions by freelancing for almost two years. For some reason, no one cares to ask freelancers how they handle stress, why they want the job or their weaknesses.

All my clients have cared about is that I can do the job and do it damn well (as demonstrated in my examples), and that’s the way it should be. Spare me the stupid questions.

Say you’re not up for the unsteady, unreliable lifestyle that freelancing brings on. What do you do when you need a real, full-time job with benefits, and you’re forced to answer these silly questions hirers think they’re required to ask to weed out a good hire from a bad one? (Even though you and I both know that acing the answers to these questions is like memorizing the answers to a standardized test.)

Well, you certainly don’t tell the truth, do you?

Because the truth would look something like this.

Tell me about yourself.

I’m a mom who reads books, writes to calm the demons in my head, plays the Sims occasionally, and I am looking for a big girl job so that I can afford my obsessions and my son’s eating habits.

Why do you want this job?

My son is hungry. He tells me that rice and ramen aren’t filling or satisfying him. I’d also like to be able to afford more books, vacations, and Sims games, and I’m hoping your healthcare plan is better than my husband’s because we have $11,000 in medical bills to pay. I suppose it’d also be nice to be able to save for retirement.

How do you handle stress?

Wait, are you telling me this job is going to be stressful? I can only assume that means my co-workers and bosses will be jerks. Jobs aren’t supposed to be stressful — it’s people who make jobs stressful. Jobs where everyone is nice and respectful aren’t stressful.

I try to avoid conflict as much as possible.

Of course, I can only avoid conflict for so long before my anxiety explodes and I say something. Fair warning: It’s not going to be nice. I’ll most likely start yelling, too.

Then, as my friend Bec G. says, I’ll melt into a puddle of tears.

What is your greatest strength?

Running from office drama and eating.

What is your greatest weakness?

Job interviews.

So how should you answer these questions if you want the job? I have no idea, to be honest, so let’s ask ChatGTP what it thinks.

Note: I’m using Claim Benefit Analyzer as a prospective job position because, if I were to find a real job right now not in the writing space, this is my desired position for two reasons: 1) I’m always catching claim errors in my personal insurance claims and 2) It’s a job usually done alone and off phones since your day is analyzing claims all day.

My prompt:

Answer these questions for someone who has previously worked as a freelance writer and an administrative assistant and, likes to work in a calm environment, has strong written skills but not-so-great oral skills, currently applying for a Claims Benefit Analyzer position.

1. Tell me about yourself?

2. Why do you want this job?

3. How do you handle stress?

4. What is your greatest strength?

5. What is your greatest weakness?

Tell me about yourself.

I bring a diverse professional background to the table, having worked as a freelance writer and an administrative assistant. My experience in these roles has equipped me with strong organizational skills and a keen eye for detail. I thrive in calm environments, and my ability to convey complex information through strong written communication has been a consistent asset throughout my career.

This response is pretty much on point, though I would change “I thrive in calm environments” to “I thrive working independently.”

This position would require the employee to be able to handle a large volume of work, which I would not consider “calm” necessarily.

Why do you want this job?

The Claims Benefit Analyzer position aligns perfectly with my skill set and professional background. Having worked extensively in roles requiring meticulous attention to detail, such as freelance writing and administrative assistance, I am confident in my ability to analyze and evaluate claims accurately. The prospect of contributing to a team in a calm and focused environment strongly resonates with my professional preferences.

This is a good answer and summarizes what I said above in a more professional tone.

How do you handle stress?

In my roles as a freelance writer and administrative assistant, I have encountered demanding situations that required effective stress management. I approach stress by prioritizing tasks, maintaining clear communication, and utilizing organizational tools to stay on top of deadlines. Breaking down complex tasks into manageable components helps me navigate high-pressure situations.

Works for me.

What is your greatest strength?

My greatest strength lies in my strong written communication skills. As a freelance writer, I have honed the ability to convey information clearly and concisely. This skill is particularly valuable in a Claims Benefit Analyzer position, where precision in written documentation is crucial for accurate analysis and decision-making.

I like it.

What is your greatest weakness?

While my written communication skills are a standout strength, my oral communication skills are an area for improvement. I am actively working on enhancing this aspect through ongoing training and seeking opportunities to practice and refine my verbal communication. Despite this weakness, I am confident in my ability to excel in roles that heavily emphasize written communication and analysis.

This is an honest answer. I’m always hesitant to bring up my struggle with verbal skills in job interviews, but I may give this answer a try and report back.

Wrapping Up

I previously wrote about how ChatGTP lacks the emotions to write well for human audiences.

However, ChatGTP is an excellent resource for job searchers. As a person who is highly emotional and honest, I struggle to set that aside when forming my answers.

The people who excel at job interviews are the ones who are capable of pushing their emotions aside and looking at the facts (and twisting them to fit their narrative).

Enter ChatGTP to save the day.

Because employers would rather hire employees who give phony robotic answers than those who provide human responses.

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