NEWSLETTER
Humor Newsletter — Holiday Huzzah Vol 2
Merry and bright — and dysfunctional — holiday humor
Ho, Ho, Hold on to your hats. Holiday stories have been drifting in and we’re happy to share our next collection. If you’ve been dozing by the fire, sleepily sipping eggnog, get ready to laugh your ass off the chair.
Story links are ‘friend links’ so all readers can enjoy paywall free. Give the gift of laughter by sharing this newsletter!
Spreading Holiday Cheer Through Weaponized Dentures by co-editor Sarah Paris
Gertrude gave few signs of life. If only she had a “hello” and a cookie from a sixteen-year-old girl, I knew she’d feel invigorated.
Holiday Letter from the Envyofalls by Dorothy Rosby
Two things make me feel like a boring person: writing my Christmas letter and reading everyone else’s.
The 12 Cartoons of Christmas by Mark Armstrong
If you have a round little belly, these cartoons will make it shake like a bowlful of jelly.
Hark, the herald news rings
Santa Claus Retires Because Enough of This Bullshit by Sianna Lani
That’s right — we’re not as jolly as you might think. Job satisfaction here is horrendous. We’ve never had such a high turnover rate.
Santa Claus To Retire, Bezos To Take Over Christmas by Patrick Metzger
Mrs. Claus and I have been working since we emerged fully formed from the zeitgeist two hundred years ago, and we look forward to a little R & R.
The War On Christmas by David Martin
We’ve got the anti-Christmas terrorists on the run and it looks like we’re going to be able to restore Christmas everywhere.
Amazon Policy On Urinating Into Plastic Bottles: A Holiday Update by Ryan Zaharako
We encourage you to recycle your soda bottles by using them to relieve yourself rather than taking unnecessary breaks.
Greta and Santa Teaming up for Fossil Fuel-Free Enterprise by Marilyn Flower
Studies are underway to replace both automobiles and airplanes with reindeer pulling — for lack of a better word — sleighs.
Music and movies
COVID-Inspired Hallmark Christmas Movies by Andy Meholick
A pandemic won’t slow down their holiday production schedule. Can’t watch them live? No problem! They’ll be widely available throughout December.
Batman Claps Back at “Jingle Bells” Trolls by Steven Koprince
After silently enduring decades of seasonal taunts about his body odor, Batman clapped back at his pint-sized haters.
Why Can’t I Stop Watching Elf? by Mark Tulin
When I wore my elf outfit to work and redecorated my office to look like the North Pole, my boss fired me on the spot.
We hope this collection inspires you to end the year with laughter. May your days be merry and bright, and may your dysfunctional families be tolerable.
ICYMI, our first collection of holiday stories
Holiday Huzzah Vol 1
Sit by the fire or freezer — depending on which hemisphere you live in — with your favorite festive beverage, and dive into this holly jolly holiday collection!
- To submit your humor writing, email Captain Susan Brearley at [email protected]
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