Summary

The text is a personal reflection on navigating a budding relationship, balancing caution from past experiences with the hope and optimism of a potentially promising new connection.

Abstract

The author expresses a cautious optimism about a new relationship, acknowledging past toxic experiences that have left them wary. Despite this, they find themselves opening up and sharing feelings through writing, appreciating the absence of conflict and the respect for personal space. The author contemplates the authenticity of their connection, noting the unique compatibility they feel, such as enjoying similar interests and the comfort of being alone together. They are torn between guarding their heart and embracing the positivity that this new relationship brings, ultimately considering the possibility of allowing themselves to be hopeful and optimistic about the future.

Opinions

The author admits to a fear of vulnerability but is drawn to express their feelings in writing.
They appreciate the lack of arguments and the mutual respect in their current relationship, which contrasts with past toxic relationships.
The author values the small, everyday compatibility aspects, like enjoying the same type of pizza or the presence of pets.
There is an underlying fear of rejection and heartbreak, which makes the author hesitant to fully commit emotionally.
Despite past hurts, the author is considering the idea of being more optimistic, suggesting a shift towards a more positive outlook on love and relationships.

Holding Hope

I probably won’t say this to your face but I’ll write it up

If I find the nerve, I might send pieces of it your way

Some today, some tomorrow, some for a day not too far away

The time that we live on is borrowed, I don’t wanna wait

Too long, or at least not too, too long, anyway

I’ve got a personality, I say I wanna fight you

In truth, it’s that I hate romance but I honestly like you

I play fight just a little bit, but I’m not tryna spite you

I don’t know what to do because I don’t talk to men like you

It’s been about three weeks now, and we haven’t had a fight

No yelling on the phone about how men are always right

I’m used to people tryna bleed me dry for information

You don’t and maybe that’s why I’ve been having reservations

It’s been about three weeks now and I haven’t blocked your phone

Or cried myself to sleep thinking I’m better off alone

I run in circles in my mind, asking myself what’s missing

It might be if I told you no just once, that you would listen

I thought that this was moving slow but what I have for reference

Are two toxic relationships, so maybe it’s just preference

I try my best to keep it G and keep myself in line

But I’m a little more than out there almost all the time

I’ve got thick curly hair but you say you like it that way

And if you think I’m crazy, well, that’s something you don’t say

I like to dance with shadows in the hallway when I’m home

You care enough about me that I’m fine when I’m alone

I love veggie pizza and I love to pick out soap

I wonder if you know that when you hold me, you hold hope

I’ve been thrown around like a ragdoll a time or two

It’s learning me at the same time as I am learning you

God’s making broken things beautiful, that’s a fact

My exterior shattered but He kept my soul intact

I like to live life my way and you seem just fine with that

I like phone calls on speakerphone as much as baseball hats

You say you love my cats and you appreciate my writing

I try my best to tell myself that it’s nothing exciting

What if I fall and you decide that you won’t come around?

I’d rather guard my heart than let myself fall to the ground

But then again, maybe you won’t decide that I’m not worth it

Maybe I should try to be a bit more optimistic

Let you hold hope instead of asking if it’s realistic