Hoda Kotb and Her Daughter’s Illness — A Boon for Social Media Attention

Privacy — You can’t have it both ways

Sometimes something bothers me so much that despite knowing it’s going to be an unpopular opinion, I have to speak up.

I am very sorry for what happened to Hoda Kotb’s young daughter, Hope. I never want to see any child get sick and suffer. I am happy that she is on the road to recovery. (In case there is anyone on the planet who is unfamiliar with Hoda Kotb, she is the co-anchor of NBC’s Today Show.)

But how Hoda handled the situation brings up a huge issue in the way celebrities manage personal matters of privacy.

At first, it appeared that Hoda wanted privacy, as the Today Show anchors informed viewers daily that “Hoda is off today.” or “Hoda is out.”, without divulging any details.

Obviously, Hoda didn’t want anyone to know what was going on in her private life, and that was her right. Therefore, allowing the Today Show anchors to give no information was appropriate.

OR she could have been more straightforward and put out a simple statement such as:

“I am away from my Today Show duties dealing with a personal family matter. My daughter, Hope, is ill, and receiving excellent care in the ICU at Weill Cornell Hospital. I ask for your patience while I take the time I need to deal with this private family matter. Thank you.”

Either choice would have afforded her the privacy she seemingly wanted.

But then she displayed something I never expected from a public figure I respected— The appetite for insatiable attention that all public figures cannot seem to live without.

She started posting teaser lines on social media- cryptic, coded, unexplained messages that fed the public’s insatiable desire to know more.

Monday — “Choose Hope”

Sunday — “Happy Sunday. Sometimes miracles are just people with kind hearts.”

Another day — “Here’s to strong women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them.”

The following Saturday — “She’s magic, that one.”

These coded messages that teased and gave no information kept the attention on her and her daughter’s issues, the same issues she seemingly wanted to keep private.

And it worked. Her social media platforms were filled with followers trying to guess the reason for her extended absence. Was one of her children sick? Was she adopting another baby? Was there another man in her life? Was she on a romantic getaway?

I would like to give Hoda the benefit of the doubt and propose that this was unintentional…….that her desire for privacy was sincere, thus the reason for her allowing her Today co-anchors to reveal no information beyond, “Hoda is off today.” I would like to believe that her cryptic social media messages weren’t the usual celebrity seeking attention.

Then why post at all? The messages she allowed the Today Show anchors to relay told NOTHING. That indicated to me that Hoda wanted privacy.

Then stick with privacy and stay the Hell off social media. She can’t have it both ways.

Hoda has been in the news/entertainment business for so many years that she knows how the PR game works.

Ask for privacy, then give a little. Pique the audience’s interest. Throw out coded, cryptic, messages. Keep them guessing.

The coded messages kept the attention on her and her daughter’s issues. The same issues she supposedly wanted to keep private.

I repeat — You can’t have it both ways. Either you want privacy or you don’t.

She was sending conflicting messages — Give me my privacy. But feed my need for attention by reading my coded messages that pique your interest and keep your attention on me.

I thought Hoda was better than that. I expected more from her than the typical celebrity desperate bid for attention.

Her private life is none of our business and it is her right to keep it private. If that’s what she wanted, she should have let the Today show say the little they said, and then she should have stayed off of social media.

As of this writing, Hoda has returned to the Today Show. She thanked her co-anchors and viewers for their support and informed everyone that Hope is recovering at home. She has chosen not to divulge the nature of Hope’s illness. If Hoda sincerely wants privacy regarding her daughter’s illness, please, no more coded, cryptic messages on social media.

©Joan Gershman 2023

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