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Abstract

y do offer a patch of grass for campers and you’ll be safe there if you want to stop for the night.”We hastily agreed. The KOA had hot showers and was a very attractive proposition in the oncoming dark. Stan refused to let us pay for the space we picked out. He disappeared while we were laying down sleeping bags and rummaging packs for food we could share.We spotted him coming out of the KOA store, holding a bag and striding toward us with set features, still unable to break a smile.“Y’all save your food for tomorrow. I found enough grub for sandwiches and added some chocolate bars as well. That should do us for tonight.”We moved to the picnic table, made our meal in quiet, tired harmony and hit the sack early.I woke up early in dawn light and saw Stan sitting in the back seat reading. I raised my hand in salutation and smiled. He waved back still no smile. I was puzzled. This man was kind and generous but on some level he was hurt and troubled.Essie and Dawn woke up and we set about packing our gear. Stan trotted off to the store and I decided to follow in his wake. I found him buying doughnuts, juice, fruit and milk and pulled out a few bucks.“No, this is my treat. Y’all have a long way to go. Save your money for when you really need it.”We sailed off with myself in the front seat once again, determined to crack Stan’s code before we parted ways.A half hour later I turned to Stan and touched his arm gently. “Are you going somewhere specific or letting the wind blow you where it may?”Maybe it was the touch or maybe it was time for Stan to finally tell his tale. He looked deeply into my eyes, gave me his first smile which completely transformed his face and spilled his story.“Something happened to me this morning and I’m going to share it with you girls since you had a hand in the making.A year and a half ago I was a happily married man with a beautiful wife and three wonderful daughters.My oldest was a ballerina and had an out of town performance I was unable to attend. My wife was driving when a sudden whiteout storm showed up without warning. She was only five miles from our home when she began crossing the railroad ties at a junction.The signal wasn’t visible or was malfunctioning in the storm. No one was able to figure that out. My eldest was in the front seat and her two younger sisters in the back. A train hit the car broadside and instantly killed all of them.They told me about the accident when I was still in my meeting. I’m not ashamed to say I fell on my knees and sobbed uncontrollably. I died with them that night.I quit my good job and didn’t leave the house for anything but groceries for close to six months. I was in hell and the only thing I could think about was how I could kill myself so I could rejoin my family.I decided to sell the house and all my possessions as well. I threw a few essentials in the trunk and took off for parts unknown two months ago.My sole aim was to remove myself from anything familiar, including friends. Most of them had given up on me anyhow and I didn’t blame them.I was going to pass right on by the three of you yesterday but a strange impulse made me stop. I listened to your talk in the car and found myself interested in others for the first time since the accident.Early this morning I was resting in the back seat, unable to sleep. A guy was walking through the campground and acting very strangely. When he came to our site, he stopped and started walking toward you three.I didn’t like the look on this fellow’s face one bit. He wasn’t a security guard that’s for sure. I reached for my gun

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under the seat and thought, keep on walking in that direction Buster and you’re going to be staring down the barrel of my gun.He couldn’t see me, but it was like he could sense danger and backed away. I watched you three wake up a bit later and realized I was waking up too.The father in me had risen from the grave. Your safety was important to me and I would let no harm cross your path. You three could’ve easily been my daughters in the future.What I’m saying is, I cared again and it shook my numbness and walking dead body alive.I realize I want to live after all. I’m not on a ‘good place to die’ mission anymore. I’m heading down south to visit family and rejoin the human race. I have you young ladies to thank for my new lease on life.”I was so transported by Stan’s story I didn’t register I was crying until tears dropped on my hands. I glanced back at Essie and Dawn, both spellbound and teary as well. Mr. Hard Luck and Troubles, as we later dubbed him, was leaking a few too.I reached over and gave Stan’s arm a big squeeze. “Thank you so much for sharing your horrible trauma with us. That’s the saddest story I’ve ever heard and my heart breaks for your pain.”“God almighty, what a day! You never know what’s going to show up but at last the wheel of fortune seems to be shining on me.” Stan slapped his knee and I hooted in agreement.Was this the same man we met the day before? He was utterly transformed and we were the witnesses to his resurrection.A quiet contentment and sprinkled conversations filled the next two hours until we arrived at a junction near the state line. Mr. Hard Luck and Troubles drove off the freeway and set us up for the next onramp east.“You ladies take good care and watch each other’s backs. There’s good folk and bad folk on the road so use that intuition you’ve been talking about to stay safe.You’re going to make it to Baltimore and back home. I feel it in my bones. I’m glad I met y’all. You’ve shown me how to seize life by the horns once again. I’ll never forget our time together.”I leaned in and kissed his cheek goodbye. “You take good care of yourself Stan. You’ve touched our lives in ways we might not understand today. You’re a very good man.”We made it to Baltimore and back Stan. Riding on the coat tails of your blessing all the way.I’ve dipped back into this memory over the past 50 years, whenever I need a refresher course on the power of human kindness.It’s a story of modern alchemy. Stan was in the Shadowlands and couldn’t light his way out. The dross had captured him in its lair.Hope came hitching along. He gathered courage and transformed his lead into gold.Our life initiations vary widely but most of us experience a passage of personal defeat at some point. A few of us are cruising in a lane to nowhere land right now just like Stan was adrift in his misery. There’s an epidemic of loneliness which has been ongoing. Longer than any pandemic.Don’t lose hope in yourself. The only constant force in our Universe is change. What shows up as a hell realm today could be converted into stiller waters as the river of life runs through you.Life is unpredictable and often a chaotic mess, but there’s meaning to this madness and you will find your gold too. Trust that.If Mr. Past Hard Luck and Troubles No More woke up to the value in living life with open hearts, we can too.Thank you Stan, wherever you may be whirling in the cosmic dust of all that is. I’ve never forgotten your lesson or lost my hope. Keep your eye out for me in the Cosmic flares. My thumb will be a star and my grin the Sun.</article></body>

Hitching a Ride with Mr. Hard Luck and Troubles

Overcoming initial doubts and following intuition opened the door to a remarkable story and new lease on life for one of us onboard.

It was a time like no other time. A steady wave of young people on the roads across America. Lasting nearly a decade from the mid 60’s to the early 70’s as Beatniks morphed into Flower Children, transforming into Hippies.

I cut my road chops shortly after my 19th birthday in 1970. Hitching down the West Coast from Seattle to Mexico in one of those summers of love and peace. I knew it would only be a matter of months before my inner Explorer would be chomping at the bit for more and indeed she did.

Summer arrived, my thumb itched and I decided to hitch across the States to Baltimore to visit my best friend I hadn’t seen in a year.

One of my housemates announced she was up for the adventure and another chimed in. Could she come along as well?

Three young women, one still a teen, the other two barely 20. Three backpacks, three pillows [confirmation of our questionable mentality] and three sleeping bags. Who would pick us up? A U Haul truck perhaps.

Our optimism was rewarded as Hippie vans steadily stopped for our three thumbs and big smiles. If they were overloaded they’d slow down, flash peace signs, blow kisses and throw joints out the window. Conditions could be worse.

Kansas may have been home to Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz but it was the first state we had difficulty securing rides. We made our way to a freeway on ramp after a drop off and realized we had left our tribe behind. Oncoming drivers stared at us like the strange apparition we were and continued onward.

It was late afternoon and we were contemplating where we could even camp in the flat nothingness when a large, fairly new Pontiac sedan slowly glided by and pulled over. Essie and Dawn looked at me with our unspoken code. I was considered Ms. Supreme Intuition and they trusted me to suss out the driver.

I ran ahead and found the passenger window open. A man in his 40’s was at the wheel but his face bore deep wrinkles and belonged on an older person. Something in his expression made me hesitate.

To my surprise I heard my inner voice — Take this ride.

“Where are you ladies headed?”

“We’re on our way to Baltimore. How about you?”

“I’m on a ramble but I can take you as far as the state border.”

I ignored the red flags and waved Essie and Dawn forward, jumping in the ample and cushy front seat while they settled comfortably in the back.

We introduced ourselves and I began to converse with Stan, a front seat job. My friendly question was answered with a short statement.

“I’m not big on conversation. I guess I’m more of a loner. You girls go ahead and talk. I’ll listen in.”

We did as asked and continued cruising through miles of nowhere land. Sunset was on the brink when Stan looked over at me.

“There’s a KOA 10 miles ahead. I crash in my car when I have to. I can’t stand those fake campgrounds, but they do offer a patch of grass for campers and you’ll be safe there if you want to stop for the night.”

We hastily agreed. The KOA had hot showers and was a very attractive proposition in the oncoming dark. Stan refused to let us pay for the space we picked out. He disappeared while we were laying down sleeping bags and rummaging packs for food we could share.

We spotted him coming out of the KOA store, holding a bag and striding toward us with set features, still unable to break a smile.

“Y’all save your food for tomorrow. I found enough grub for sandwiches and added some chocolate bars as well. That should do us for tonight.”

We moved to the picnic table, made our meal in quiet, tired harmony and hit the sack early.

I woke up early in dawn light and saw Stan sitting in the back seat reading. I raised my hand in salutation and smiled. He waved back still no smile. I was puzzled. This man was kind and generous but on some level he was hurt and troubled.

Essie and Dawn woke up and we set about packing our gear. Stan trotted off to the store and I decided to follow in his wake. I found him buying doughnuts, juice, fruit and milk and pulled out a few bucks.

“No, this is my treat. Y’all have a long way to go. Save your money for when you really need it.”

We sailed off with myself in the front seat once again, determined to crack Stan’s code before we parted ways.

A half hour later I turned to Stan and touched his arm gently. “Are you going somewhere specific or letting the wind blow you where it may?”

Maybe it was the touch or maybe it was time for Stan to finally tell his tale. He looked deeply into my eyes, gave me his first smile which completely transformed his face and spilled his story.

“Something happened to me this morning and I’m going to share it with you girls since you had a hand in the making.

A year and a half ago I was a happily married man with a beautiful wife and three wonderful daughters.

My oldest was a ballerina and had an out of town performance I was unable to attend. My wife was driving when a sudden whiteout storm showed up without warning. She was only five miles from our home when she began crossing the railroad ties at a junction.

The signal wasn’t visible or was malfunctioning in the storm. No one was able to figure that out. My eldest was in the front seat and her two younger sisters in the back. A train hit the car broadside and instantly killed all of them.

They told me about the accident when I was still in my meeting. I’m not ashamed to say I fell on my knees and sobbed uncontrollably. I died with them that night.

I quit my good job and didn’t leave the house for anything but groceries for close to six months. I was in hell and the only thing I could think about was how I could kill myself so I could rejoin my family.

I decided to sell the house and all my possessions as well. I threw a few essentials in the trunk and took off for parts unknown two months ago.

My sole aim was to remove myself from anything familiar, including friends. Most of them had given up on me anyhow and I didn’t blame them.

I was going to pass right on by the three of you yesterday but a strange impulse made me stop. I listened to your talk in the car and found myself interested in others for the first time since the accident.

Early this morning I was resting in the back seat, unable to sleep. A guy was walking through the campground and acting very strangely. When he came to our site, he stopped and started walking toward you three.

I didn’t like the look on this fellow’s face one bit. He wasn’t a security guard that’s for sure. I reached for my gun under the seat and thought, keep on walking in that direction Buster and you’re going to be staring down the barrel of my gun.

He couldn’t see me, but it was like he could sense danger and backed away. I watched you three wake up a bit later and realized I was waking up too.

The father in me had risen from the grave. Your safety was important to me and I would let no harm cross your path. You three could’ve easily been my daughters in the future.

What I’m saying is, I cared again and it shook my numbness and walking dead body alive.

I realize I want to live after all. I’m not on a ‘good place to die’ mission anymore. I’m heading down south to visit family and rejoin the human race. I have you young ladies to thank for my new lease on life.”

I was so transported by Stan’s story I didn’t register I was crying until tears dropped on my hands. I glanced back at Essie and Dawn, both spellbound and teary as well. Mr. Hard Luck and Troubles, as we later dubbed him, was leaking a few too.

I reached over and gave Stan’s arm a big squeeze. “Thank you so much for sharing your horrible trauma with us. That’s the saddest story I’ve ever heard and my heart breaks for your pain.”

“God almighty, what a day! You never know what’s going to show up but at last the wheel of fortune seems to be shining on me.” Stan slapped his knee and I hooted in agreement.

Was this the same man we met the day before? He was utterly transformed and we were the witnesses to his resurrection.

A quiet contentment and sprinkled conversations filled the next two hours until we arrived at a junction near the state line. Mr. Hard Luck and Troubles drove off the freeway and set us up for the next onramp east.

“You ladies take good care and watch each other’s backs. There’s good folk and bad folk on the road so use that intuition you’ve been talking about to stay safe.

You’re going to make it to Baltimore and back home. I feel it in my bones. I’m glad I met y’all. You’ve shown me how to seize life by the horns once again. I’ll never forget our time together.”

I leaned in and kissed his cheek goodbye. “You take good care of yourself Stan. You’ve touched our lives in ways we might not understand today. You’re a very good man.”

We made it to Baltimore and back Stan. Riding on the coat tails of your blessing all the way.

I’ve dipped back into this memory over the past 50 years, whenever I need a refresher course on the power of human kindness.

It’s a story of modern alchemy. Stan was in the Shadowlands and couldn’t light his way out. The dross had captured him in its lair.

Hope came hitching along. He gathered courage and transformed his lead into gold.

Our life initiations vary widely but most of us experience a passage of personal defeat at some point. A few of us are cruising in a lane to nowhere land right now just like Stan was adrift in his misery. There’s an epidemic of loneliness which has been ongoing. Longer than any pandemic.

Don’t lose hope in yourself. The only constant force in our Universe is change. What shows up as a hell realm today could be converted into stiller waters as the river of life runs through you.

Life is unpredictable and often a chaotic mess, but there’s meaning to this madness and you will find your gold too. Trust that.

If Mr. Past Hard Luck and Troubles No More woke up to the value in living life with open hearts, we can too.

Thank you Stan, wherever you may be whirling in the cosmic dust of all that is. I’ve never forgotten your lesson or lost my hope. Keep your eye out for me in the Cosmic flares. My thumb will be a star and my grin the Sun.