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require little added maintenance, the butt can be a different story.</p><p id="e600">I’m clearly not oblivious to the physiological functions of the rectum; anyone who is, or pretends to be, has no business going <i>there</i> in the first place. Feeling comfortable with your partner is also very important in the instance that accidents <i>do</i> happen…which they might.</p><p id="9bf8">Still, I prefer to keep it as squeaky clean as possible. First then, can I really sink in and relax, worry-free. Call me a prude, but my second hard limit, next to <i>no anal on the first date</i> is <i>no scat-play. </i>When I have visitors, I like it neat and will make sure all surfaces are tidy before anyone steps over my doorstep. For the sake of clarity, I’m talking about <i>both</i> my apartment <i>and</i> my butt right now.</p><p id="1666">How does this make anal sex more intimate? Well, to <i>want</i> to put in the extra time, effort, and dedication required, I need to really be into it, and the person I’m inviting along. That in itself makes it extra meaningful.</p><p id="1702"><i>For all the dirty details on how to get sparkly clean, I wrote this <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-secret-to-enjoying-anal-sex-865d573cc116">in-depth article on anal-prep</a>.</i></p><h2 id="39b4">An asshole is just kinda moody</h2><p id="ef78">Some days butt stuff feels fantastic and other days they don’t—at all! This might be true for all sex, to some degree, but it’s especially true for anal. The sphincter is not only sensitive, but temperamental and therefore any kind of tension, stress, and exhaustion can affect its <i>behavior.</i></p><p id="eea4">It’s exceedingly important for me to trust that my lover is both sensitive and understanding of this, and won’t simply soldier on without paying attention. I prefer someone who knows me well enough to tune into my resonance without me having to spell out every damn word.</p><h2 id="0a33">It’s oh-so-intense, which makes me feel oh-so-vulnerable</h2><p id="464b">This is the most defining point for me: When anal sex is <i>really</i> good, I will momentarily transcend my body to hover somewhere above it for an undefinable amount of time. In these spaced-out moments, I have very little control over the movements and sounds I make. With vaginal sex, on the other hand, I still feel (mostly) in charge.</p><p id="5e13">A slight control freak by nature, letting go completely to allow someone a close up of myself in a state of unhinged pleasure is not always easy for me. Is it for most people? This is as raw as it gets, and therefore an unusually tender space for me to allow anyone access to.</p><p id="9085">In <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-ass-master-who-stole-my-heart-a2bd4959642e">a story about the partner who first taught me to really appreciate anal sex</a> I write, “they say that the way to someone’s heart is through the stomach (…) but I’ve recently come wonder if there may also be a way to our hearts through our…rear ends.”</p><p id="b185">I still believe anal sex to be both more emotio

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nally and physically intimate and close than most other things. This is when I feel the most naked, the most open, and as a result the most exposed. It’s also one of the sex acts that have the highest potential for something to go wrong; for it to cause pain, or simply just get embarrassing.</p><p id="8eb9">For the number of posts I see praising anal sex on this site, I see at least as many swearing never to go near it (again), often after having experienced severe physical and mental trauma related to it. So, while I’m excited to see this wonderful act becoming increasingly destigmatized, and more and more people adding it to their sexual repertoire, I can’t help but wish to apply a few words of caution.</p><p id="0677">While opening and sharing our hearts is a beautiful and empowering endeavor—one we should embark on as often and as much as we feel inclined to—we want to take the precautions we can to ensure that we only allow in those who aren’t planning to break it.</p><p id="95f3">If we apply the same logic to anal sex too, we might start to see less of the traumatic horror stories and even more praising the treasured <i>mystery-zone!</i></p><figure id="96b5"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*xKxnwqn_EUaHXW-qvkscVQ.png"><figcaption></figcaption></figure><div id="1dbd" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/sex-with-ena-1aecd927677c"> <div> <div> <h2>Sex With Ena</h2> <div><h3>All of my sexy pieces in one place</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*P6qZqcmqK8vjBMgBXCECcQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="08db" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-secret-to-enjoying-anal-sex-865d573cc116"> <div> <div> <h2>The Secret to Enjoying Anal Sex</h2> <div><h3>It’s all about preparation</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*XlGiQe9GU0DY7vB_viPzDA.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="875d" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-ass-master-who-stole-my-heart-a2bd4959642e"> <div> <div> <h2>An Ass-Master Stole My Heart</h2> <div><h3>A story about anal sex, and my (attempted) polyamorous slave-Master relationship</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*R_bshJEq85c7o4g9-51DjQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Humor Series: World Series

History of the World Series

For People Who Don’t Watch

World Series logo, Major League Baseball. Image: Wikipedia

The World Series is over a hundred years old, starting in 1903 as a contest between the National League and the American League.

This sporting event, usually held in October and sometimes called the Fall Classic, has already infringed upon the territory of the following athletic contest run-up with the football season, which has already begun.

Significance of the World Series

This exciting, riveting, seat-of-the-pants, 3-hour baseball drama plays out on television but never gets the kind of love football gets. Baseball is supposed to be the national pastime, but the major American religious holiday seems to be the Super Bowl. Football seems more designed for television, with large individuals inflicting physical harm on others tempestuously.

Whence came the name “World Series?” Does it suggest that this is the championship competition for baseball anywhere in the world, across the entire planet? Canada occasionally gets included, but:

What do baseball players in Japan think of this?
Does the World Series extend off-planet?
Will we have to play Mars in a Worlds’ Series?
And what’s the deal with the World Series of Poker?
Or the World Series of Beer Pong?

Originally called “The Championship of the United States,” it became the “World’s Championship Series,” shortened eventually to just “World’s Series.”

Implications of the World Series Designated Hitter Rule

Your friendly neighborhood historian, with the World Series Trophy, Fenway Park, Boston

Wikipedia, the prequel to The Encyclopedia Galactica, but smaller, tells us:

The National and American Leagues operated under essentially identical rules until 1973, when the American League adopted the designated hitter (DH) rule, allowing its teams to use another hitter to bat in place of the (usually) weak-hitting pitcher. The National League did not adopt the DH rule. This presented a problem for the World Series, whose two contestants would now be playing their regular-season games under different rules. From 1973 to 1975, the World Series did not include a DH.

Starting in 1976, the DH rule was used in the World Series held in even-numbered years. The Cincinnati Reds swept the 1976 Series in four games, using the same nine-man lineup in each contest. Dan Driessen was the Reds’ DH during the series, thereby becoming the National League’s first designated hitter. From 1986 to 2019, and in 2021, the DH was used only in World Series games played at American League parks, and pitchers were required to bat in games played at National League parks. In 2020, and starting in 2022, the DH rule was used in all World Series games, regardless of home team.

This, of course, is intuitively obvious to the most casual observer. What is not obvious is the implication of this on other World Series rules.

World Series Designated Slapper Rule

This rule impacts (pun intended) players’ faces in an unfriendly altercation during the game or the glutei maximi of players as an encouraging gesture. This occurs on odd-numbered fortnights for longitudes that end in even numbers.

World Series Designated Driver Rule

For the winners who celebrate after a victory, selecting a player who will remain sober to drive other players home after the celebratory party is necessary. This player is chosen by drawing a card.

Each player gets six cards, except for the player on the dealer’s right, who gets seven. The second card is turned up, except on Tuesdays. You need a king and a deuce, except at night, when you’d need a queen and a 4. You’ve got another jack! Ha ha ha! How lucky you are! How wonderful for you. If you didn’t get another jack, if you’d gotten a king, why, then, you’d get another card, except when it’s dark when you’d have to give it back.

Sure, this sounds like science fiction, probably because I lifted it from the Star Trek episode “A Piece of the Action.”

But for the losers of the World Series, they select a Designated Hankie Carrier, except in those cases where it is overruled by the There’s No Crying in Baseball Rule.

Batter up.

Bill Petro, your friendly neighborhood historian billpetro.com

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