History is not Destiny

You are not your history

Consider,

* The alcoholic woman with ten years of recovery under her belt.

* The failed business that reinvented itself and now is an example of success in its industry.

All stories of people who survived tough times and creatively wrote new chapters for their future.

I learned from my years as a practicing psychologist that we shouldn’t reduce a person to their diagnosis (e.g. a depressive) or the sum total of their childhood conflicts and hurts.

Tough times do not last but tough people do

Living out a lifetime drama of and hurt is not all there is to a person

Because we are

A highly complex mix of psychological assets and liabilities

Shrouded in mystery that unfolds as we are exposed to new people and experiences.

Like the starry sky that cannot be defined by observing one star or galaxy

Defined more by our potential and strength than by our weakness and failure.

Transforming Hurtful Experiences

Consider the following examples of how people transform the liabilities of childhood and adult life into a positive contribution to their world.

1. An academic whose mother was extremely self-absorbed and grossly neglected him. As an adult, he studied unhealthy and healthy ways children bonded with their parents.
2. A psychologist had an “all about me” father who would never allow the child to express his own opinion. The child grew up to be a very effective public speaker.
3. An exuberant girl who was banned from speaking at the family dinner table. She grew up with a passion for giving others a voice.

Conclusion

Take charge of your self-perception and the things you attempt by

1. Refusing to limit yourself to defining yourself by your history of hurt and disappointment.
2. Finding people who believe in you and bring out the best in you.
3. Treating yourself as an unfolding mystery where you are in the process of creatively writing the ongoing scenes.
4. Discovering what inspires you and letting that be the true north on your life’s compass.

So go ahead, creatively write and live the rest of your life’s story.