Hinky Boots

Summary

The author describes a personal journey from anxiety and aversion to social gatherings to embracing a new holiday tradition centered around a family dinner at an Italian steakhouse, emphasizing the importance of meaningful experiences over material gifts.

Abstract

The author, who identifies as a highly anxious individual, recounts the transition from traditional holiday gift-giving to creating memorable experiences with family. After ceasing the practice of assembling St. Nick gift bags due to a lack of joy in gifting, the author proposes a fancy dinner with family instead of exchanging gifts. The decision is influenced by the realization that the most cherished moments with the author's niece have been shared experiences rather than physical presents. The author fondly reminisces about a past visit to the Creature Conservancy with the niece, highlighting the value of time spent together. The new tradition begins with a dinner at La Bistecca, where the author overcomes social apprehensions and enjoys a delightful evening filled with laughter, good food, and the absence of the usual holiday stress. The experience leads to a collective decision to adopt this as their new holiday tradition, favoring the support of a local restaurant and the joy of shared meals over the routine of gift exchanges.

Opinions

The author values meaningful experiences and being present with loved ones over material possessions.
The author has a deep appreciation for their niece, describing her as thoughtful and endearing.
The author expresses a sense of accomplishment in overcoming personal social challenges during the dinner.
The author finds humor in everyday situations, such as the restaurant owner's name and their brother-in-law's toothless whistle when speaking.
The author believes in the importance of supporting local businesses, as evidenced by their choice of dining venue.
The author reflects on the past with a mix of nostalgia and a desire to create new, joyful traditions.

Holiday Tradition Rebooted

Hinky Boots

hinky-adjective-(nervous)

Festive butt-kickers created by author using tree trimming supplies in place of boring bootlaces and buttons (pins) for added pizazz and also to lock the “laces” in place. Photo taken by author.

I may have made it clear in my writing before that I am a very nervous and anxious person. I border on agoraphobic — to the disappointment of my husband when he wants me to visit with our friends or family and to the dismay of my mom because she loves to shop and go out to eat (with ME of all people, go figure).

The promise of fantastic food can usually coax my basically non-social self into going outside of my comfortable home.

I did it to myself this year, if you can believe it. I asked my husband if he would take us, along with his younger brother and our niece, to a fancy dinner instead of exchanging gifts this year. I say that like I’ve ever received a Christmas gift from them. I haven’t. My niece does think of me now and again. She bought me an elegant fan from a gift shop during a field trip she went on once. She also put together an Easter basket one year during the pandemic and left it on the front porch for me. She’s a dollface. I love her to bits.

For years, after my mother-in-law passed away in 2013, I carried on my husband’s family’s German tradition of assembling St. Nick gift bags (in lieu of the old school practice of candy and nuts placed in the shoes of deserving boys and girls on Saint Nicholas Day — or a visit from the dreaded Krampus for The Others) that she started. I stopped doing this a couple years ago because it ended up being a bag of crap that no longer impressed me. I’m sure they would have still appreciated it, but I just haven’t been feeling the pleasure of gifting as much since my dad passed away.

Dad used to get candy orange slices, underwear, and socks from me when I was very young. I would wrap them up in a box with paper clips as a sound effect added to try and trick him into thinking it was something else. (Poorly drawn by author.)

In later years, the candy orange slices remained a staple and if they were absent I’d get an earful, but the other gifts I gave my dad improved. (Also, poorly drawn by author.)

Meaningful experiences and being present are more my jam these days. Stuff is just stuff. The best times I’ve had with my niece (now 16, OMG!) have been things we’ve done together. Once, we visited a place called the Creature Conservancy in Ann Arbor, MI. We took a private tour and got to see all kinds of animals at different stages of rehabilitation. We got to pet a kangaroo, we fed sweet potato spears to porcupines, we dodged over-amorous sloths trying to grab us for a hug, and we were subjected to a few previously abused and slightly featherless swearing birds in knitted sweaters — we were told to stop laughing at their fowl language — apparently their bad behavior should not be encouraged, don’t you know. (All photos that follow were taken by the author.)

Thinking back to this tour (5 years ago now) with my niece and how quickly the time has flown by — I, the barely social aunt, decided it was time to put myself back out there just a little so I don’t miss out on her life any longer. The pandemic was a setback, my health has been a setback, anything and everything can be a setback if you let it become one.

So, with my confidence boosting butt-kicking boots with a festive twist we met my brother-in-law and niece at La Bistecca, a glamourous Italian steakhouse on December 23rd with a reservation at 5:30pm. A small intimate family dinner meant to be a reacquainting and possibly a new tradition for the holiday season.

My quaking nervous Nelly-ness quickly dissolved into comfortable companionship and story sharing.

Funnily, whilst reading the menu, we discovered the owner of the restaurant is named Jerry Costanza and I was tempted to quote a Seinfeld episode by yelling “Cantstandya!” with an inappropriate outburst. You’ll be pleased to know I controlled myself.

Other behaviors of note during the evening:

My brother-in-law has a slight whistle when he talks. Kind of like Mr. Busy the beaver from Lady and the Tramp. You see, he has no teeth. This is completely my fault, sort of. I took him to and from all of his appointments to have his rotted teeth removed to make way for dentures. My husband and I paid for all of the extractions and his dentures because it was a promise never fulfilled by his parents, but the dentures never fit quite right, so he gums everything. Including the cowboy steak he ordered at the restaurant. I have to say, it was impressive. Also, he did not complain about one thing he was served, unusual for him as he was a cook at Outback Steakhouse for many years and thinks he’s Gordon effing Ramsay or something. Him being speechless after taking the first bite of steak was priceless.
My niece’s birthday was a few days before while she was still in school before the holiday break. She told me her friends let the lunch ladies at the school know of her birthday and they were trying to chase her down throughout the day. She kept ducking them. When they finally found her, the lunch ladies sang to her and threw cookies at her in celebration.

In conclusion:

Our meals were delicious. Visions of arancini, garlic butter shrimp, steaks and braised short ribs, horseradish risottos, perfectly seasoned fried potato wedges, spumoni sundaes, slices of limoncello chiffon cake, and vanilla bean creme brulees were invited to dance in our bellies.

We all had a delightful time. By the end of the night, we all decided this should be our new tradition. No more unthoughtful gifts. No more rushing around to clean the house and make dinner. Great food, positive no pressure feelings, no mess to clean up afterwards, and supporting a local restaurant to boot (pun always intended). Sounds like a winner to me! I’m actually looking forward to going out again next year. Maybe even more than the one time, thanks to this experience.

Please no judgements. I’m usually a jeans and t-shirt or AM pajamas followed by PM pajamas type of gal. This is as good as my awkward ass gets and I feel fine. 😁