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Ten characteristics of quality friendship.
Friendship … is born at the moment when one man says to another “What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .”
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
Friendship is a funny thing, a form of love, writes C.S. Lewis. It is the love of two people who find that they have something in common (even though they may also have many other things in which they are not alike at all).
Here are a few characteristics of meaningful friendships. As you read, ask yourself which of your friends fulfill that characteristic.
- They’re authentic — They are who they appear to be, say what they mean, and mean what they say. There is no pretense, no playing games, and no effort to impress.
- They’re trustworthy —You can depend on them to be there for you and have your back. They are not wishy-washy or fickle in their appreciation and affection for who you are and what you mean to them.
- They’re supportive — They encourage you and truly desire to see you succeed. They lend their time and energy to things that are important to you.
- They actively listen — They listen to and hear you, genuinely seeking to know and understand before responding. They are comfortable with the silence that comes with processing your words before speaking.
- They have similar interests —They have at least one similar interest, something they enjoy doing with you — hiking, coffee, Star Wars, crafting, playing basketball, or just about anything else!
- They are present during difficult times — They will be there with you in good times and bad, even if it means sitting quietly without words.
- They have your best interests in mind —Love is, at its core, desiring what is best for the other person. They want you to be well — spiritually, emotionally, physically, and in every other way.
- They respect your differences — They understand that you are different in some ways, and they appreciate those differences, taking them as an opportunity to learn, grow, and stretch themselves.
- They honor your boundaries —They understand that sometimes you need to be alone and that things may be off-limits even for them. They push you to grow but also know when enough is enough.
- They make you feel safe —All the above characteristics create a sense of safety and security. You know you can trust them. You are safe with them.
What would you add to this list?
Thank you for reading. My name is Steve. After twenty years of living overseas, I live in the Treasure Valley of Idaho. If you enjoyed this article, check out some of my other stories and other creations of mine.
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