Hey There, Perfectionist, I’ve Got a Question for You
A question and a reframe in thinking that might help you
Hey there. Yes, you. The one who once again beat themselves up for not doing something well enough. I know how that feels.
- You wish you could turn back time and do things differently.
- You wish you didn’t procrastinate so much. You put that task off for tomorrow, which is what you did yesterday, too. You’ve stopped counting those tomorrows. It’s like rubbing salt in your wounds.
- You don’t want to feel disappointed because of your imperfect results.
I don’t blame you for not wanting to experience that unpleasant feeling. But I have a question for you, my dear perfectionist.
Can you remember the things you accomplished today, no matter how insignificant they were? Can’t you think of anything? Please try again. I’m sure you’ll find something. Have you finally found something? I knew you could do it.
Isn’t it funny that it took you so long to find something you did well, but you immediately recognized what you didn’t?
Just like the student who scored 99 out of 100 on a test and cries about the one percent they got wrong instead of acknowledging the 99 percent they got right.
Unfair, isn’t it?
Here’s my exercise for you: Instead of focusing on what you did wrong, focus on what you did right. Focus on your small successes. Give them the same attention you gave to your mistakes.
How does that make you feel?
- Do you realize how unfair you have been to yourself? How much you focus on what you did wrong, forgetting the dozen things you did right?
- Do you realize that you’ve accomplished so much even though your brain is focused on what you haven’t done?
- Do you see how amazing you’ve been all this time?
Now try to apply this way of thinking to your entire life so far.
Imperfection isn’t a compromise, it’s an opportunity.
Look around you. Everything is imperfect. Even nature itself. And yet everything dares to exist and makes the world around it aware of its beautiful, imperfect presence.
So I challenge you to embrace your flaws and dare to exist.
Just like this letter to you. I don’t know how to end it, but I want you to receive it and read it. So I’m going to share it anyway.
Sincerely,
a recovering perfectionist
Liked this letter? I have one for top performers, too: