Summary

The author reflects on the possibility of channeling the desire to have children into the creation and nurturing of creative projects, considering her current life circumstances and the strong creative energy she experiences as a single, freelance artist and coach nearing 40.

Abstract

As the author approaches her 38th birthday, she confronts the reality that she may not have children due to her single status, financial constraints, and the focus on establishing her career as an artist and coach. Despite the potential grief of this realization, she is intrigued by the idea of redirecting her maternal instincts into her creative endeavors. She ponders whether nurturing creative projects can fulfill her in a way similar to raising a child. The author, who identifies as a creator, feels a heightened sense of creative inspiration, which she attributes to both her inner work and her body's recognition of the final phase of potential childbearing. She engages in a metaphorical dialogue with "Existence," seeking permission to use her creative energy for her business instead of childbirth, aiming to create value that will support her in the long term. She invites readers to discuss the potential of channeling the urge to procreate into other forms of creation, considering the sacrifices, benefits, and societal implications of this choice.

Opinions

The author acknowledges the potential sacrifice of not having children due to her current life situation.
She believes that her creative energy, which is naturally heightened as she enters the final phase of potential childbearing, can be redirected into her professional projects.
The author values the sense of alignment and empowerment she feels when engaging in creative work.
She views her business as a creative child that she can nurture and that can provide for her in return.
The author suggests that channeling her creative drive into her business is a way to transform a deep feminine pain into something beautiful and beneficial for her community.
She is open to the idea that creating and raising a child could stimulate creativity but also wonders if it might distract from creative pursuits.
The author is seeking a dialogue with others, particularly women, to explore the concept of channeling the urge to procreate into creative endeavors and its implications on an individual and societal level.

Hey God, May I Employ My Reproductive Urge into Creative Projects Instead?

Exploring an expanded approach to baby-making

Me observing the world from a tree, through the lens of Ida Kristiansen Balle

I’m turning 38 next week, and these last days it was as the depth of a situation of mine suddenly surfaced with significant power: I might not have children.

I don’t even know if I want children. Maybe; if my divine partner appears and is keen on babies, and if the practicals are at least a little bit in support of a child in my life — I will consider it. But right now I’m single, renting a pretty shabby apartment and building my life up from scratch by establishing my work as a freelance artist and coach. I work around the clock, forget to do the dishes, and I just hit that magical point where my monthly income covers my monthly expenses.

I many ways, I love how my life is unfolding at this moment. I’m finally doing what I should have done 20 years ago: I’m building a life for myself that it makes sense to me to explore. I’ve taken on a quest to reorganize my life in favor of my highest choice, and I’m enjoying the sense of empowerment — and grace! — coming with the opportunity of pushing `restart` on life coming close to 40.

But there is a sacrifice coming with that restart, and it’s a great one: I might pass on my opportunity for having children.

I could write a lot about the grief of denying myself this opportunity, and I will probably gift my grief the space of a dedicated essay — once I get a bit more on top of what’s happening inside of me. But for right now; I’m keen on bringing our focus into a different direction. Because as the potential of a life without children has surfaced in my awareness, I have been pondering something deeply, and I’m keen on exploring that pondering with you:

Is it possible for me to channel my feminine yearning to reproduce myself; into the act of birthing and nurturing creative projects instead? And can that channeling ever serve to satisfy me in the way birthing and raising a child would?

A word on serious creative business

I am a creator. My work is as a performing artist, and I love to write, to build businesses, to create websites, to gather people, to take pictures and to make clothes. Creation is what I do- it’s the place where I thrive. When I’m creative I feel close to myself; I am in perfect alignment with my god within.

This last year, I’ve experienced a charge of creative inspiration and creative drive I’ve never felt before. I owe this inspiration partly to my last years’ devotion to my inner work, but I also think the creative charge is connected to my womanly cycle. It’s as if my body recognizes that I’ve entered the last phase of potential baby-making, and compensates by making an ENORMOUS amount of energy available to be facilitated into… serious creation business.

My body is preparing to reproduce herself while she still has the chance. But I can’t really see how to satisfy her demand of me right now. And it’s really quite a shame — I contemplated on a rational day — to just throw all this creative energy away.

Since I know I won’t be making any babies at the moment, I would prefer channelling all this energy into something else instead: something different-level-creative business.

My counselling with Existence

I call on Existence.

Hey Existence — i say— I really like this charge of creative energy you’re giving me right now. But is it okay with you if I employ that energy in a direction that is more realistic for me in this phase of my life- and put together something else than babies? I know I’m still fit to make children, but I’m not even sure if I really want that, and even if I did: I have no man around to cooperate with me on this quest at this moment.

My strongest yearning right now, to be frank with you, is not to nurture babies. Im much more keen on using all this energy of mine to build my arts and coaching business. I love to continue nurturing this business, because it provides me with an opportunity to inspire and support both myself and the people of my community.

And yes— dear Existence — I would love to sign up for your bonuses (of course Existence has a bonus system; especially when there are sacrifices involved). In channeling my intense creative urge, I’m aiming to grow a business that has value, and I’m planning for that value to take care of me as I grow old — without being a brat on me on the way. Actually, I’m set on birthing and raising a very well-behaved creative child, one who will earn its own keep not in 20 years, but in 5 — and share that keep with me!

Dear Existence, I do think that’s a resonable outcome. After all, I’m doing my very best in channeling a deep feminine pain into something beautiful here. I’m ready to employ my creative drive to build something that can support my whole community. All I ask of you is that you continue cheering me on as I do what my feminine essence loves to do: to birth and mother children. Just that in this case; my child is not a little crying creature. It is my creative business.

What are your thoughts?

This is my internal pondering these days. And I’m keen on inspiring a discussion here. Cause I wonder if this contemplation resonates for other women out there? And if so, are you willing to explore this topic with me? I hope so, cause I would really love to hear other reflections around this theme!

Here are some prompts to get you started:

Do you believe it’s possible as women to channel our yearning to create a baby into other types of creation? What kind of sacrifices or attitude would that channeling require of us, in order for it to work? What would be our rewards?
What could be the benefits and disadvantages of swapping physical baby-making for creative children — welcome to explore both individual, relational and even society consequences here!
Can raising a creative project be likened to raising a physical baby? I would love to hear your examples! Or: If you think that suggestion is outright silly, I love to hear about that too!
If you have birthed children, do you feel that there is any link between creating/raising a child and your creative process? Did the process of pregnancy, birth and early stages of nurturing your child: stimulate your creativity? Or did the focus on your baby rather take the focus away from your creativity? I know nothing about this — and I honestly wonder.

Ps: you don’t need to be a writer at Muse Me to respond to these prompts. Just make sure to tag me so I get to read your contributions! You may respond to this prompt anytime, it’s a timeless one. For Muse Me writers, I will publish the responses as they come. And I will do a roundup on them in a couple of weeks’ time!