Herstory, A Grandmother’s Love (Part III: Dating)
Retelling Her Story and How it Shaped Me.
Now, here comes the fun part. Here is where I get to shift things a bit. This is the teenage years, relationships and love section. When I was spending my summer days with my grandparents, she gave me a lot more information than what she wrote in this book!
When I was a teen:
I remember being a teenager as we moved from Moline to Geneseo, when I was 13 years old. I had to try to get acquainted — I was shy and unskilled (at communication), so it was not easy. I had never had a friend really, until then. My favorite Age was 13 because I could have friends, my mom stopped working and we had a family life like most other families I had known. I had my first kiss when I was 12, my brother’s friend was practicing on me! I began dating at age 19 and had my first real boyfriend at age 19.
Enter my grandfather.
Some of the things I remember about dating are:
I really did not date. I was a serious wallflower. There was one movie date when I was 15.
At that time, for dates we usually:
We hoped for one, but it did not happen for everyone. So, when Jim asked me for a date it was a shock. I was 19. When we went on that date, he asked me to marry him! I thought he was kidding, and I said, “Oh sure, I’ll marry you — come on out and meet my folks (parents)” …… And…. He did!
Memories of “dating”:
I met your grandfather in June of 1947 at International Harvester, where we both worked. My first impression of him was that he had a really nice tan. But it turned out he actually had a naturally dark complexion. Our first date was 3 days after we met. We went to a nightclub on a city bus. He proposed on the first date at the creek bridge on Elk Street, he put a ring on my finger one week later to make it official. After that, on a typical date we spent most of our time at my house or went downtown in Geneseo. (authors note on heritage: He was 25–50% Native American, tribe affiliation and ratio of blood line has always been in dispute, and at this time)
So one thing she left out of this book, but that I remember very clearly from when she told me when I was a teen, the details of the 2nd date.
As she told the story to me, more than once — she was scared. Here’s why:
He borrowed a car and they went for a drive. They were out on the country roads, and he said there was car trouble. Yeah, a likely story she thought. She said that he asked her to do something that at the time… seemed uncouth to her and something that should not be done until after they were married. She also said he very nearly forced himself on her. Sparing the details, that at 12–13 I did not need to be privy to, but nonetheless — she told me anyway. When she refused him, she said he got all huffy about it and asked her is she was a lesbian. Though according to her, lesbian was not the word he used. (Oy vey! )
She said she asked him, “Why would you buy the cow, if you can have the milk for free?” His response was, “Woman! I done told you already! I want to marry you.” So, she told him that he better put a ring on it (this was well before Beyoncé's time). Then after about 3 minutes of looking under the hood and doing absolutely nothing…a miracle happened. The car… magically started working again, without any issues. So yes, apparently my grandfather was quite the cad.
Luckily, she told me all of this before I actually started dating. This insight at that age and her concerns may have made me have better judgement, maybe. ;)
Up Next! Part IV…. subtitle to be determined.
As always, thank you for your time. If you enjoy reading some or all of my work. There will be more, and it will continually get better. Some may be hit and miss. I’m okay with that.
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Always, Live — Laugh — Love
From Written By Mo Jo Jo.