Here’s Why Your Story Doesn’t Start With You
How we forget about where we really came from
I hate it when somebody says “tell me about yourself.”
Okay, hate is probably a strong word, but it’s the sort of question which sends me into panic mode.
I’m not saying this isn’t a useful question to ask. There are of course some situations (mostly in a professional setting) that may naturally require a two-minute highlight reel of your journey.
I just struggle with it. It throws me completely off-guard. I’ll admit that talking about myself isn’t exactly my strongpoint, but there is something about this question that gets to me.
Perhaps it isn’t so much the question, but instead the principle behind it. Maybe it is the fact that we are in search of a quick snapshot of another person’s life so that we can move on with our own.
Do you really expect to learn everything you need to know about me from my so-called spontaneous, actually-rehearsed speech that might start off with where I was born or where I went to school? Let’s be honest, you’ve probably lost interest by now.
I get it. Things are just so fast-paced at the moment. Nobody has time to learn about other people. But surely this means we are being misunderstood.
I just don’t think we can skip straight to the “summary” page, when talking about ourselves or when asking about others. If I’m being honest, I’m still trying to figure out what should go there.
Here is what I really think. I think we struggle to answer questions like these because it brings into light how much we really know about ourselves.
Okay let’s back up for a second. We know who we are. It doesn’t take a genius to work out what we are interested in and what we are not. But that isn’t what I’m talking about.
I’m talking about the real stuff. I’m talking about why we are interested in what we are interested in.
“It is important that we know where we come from, because if you do not know where you come from, then you don’t know where you are, and if you don’t know where you are, you don’t know where you’re going. And if you don’t know where you’re going, you’re probably going wrong.”
Why the First Few Chapters Matter More Than You Think
We all have a story to share, a journey of unique experiences that makes us who we are. But why do we struggle to narrate it when asked? Why do questions like “tell me about yourself” lead to a state of confusion in our minds about where to begin?
I sense it is because we aren’t starting from the real beginning.
Through no fault of our own, we are led to believe that our journey began at birth. Our early years in life are our most impressionable, dictated by our surroundings and how we are brought up.
But a strong part of our upbringing stems from our heritage, our culture, and of course the stories our families tell us about what their lives were like “back in the day.”
We may not realise it, but that stuff matters. That’s the real stuff I’m talking about. Our roots play a big role in shaping how we think about the world, where our interests lie, what we really believe in.
It’s impossible to know why we are who we are, unless we take more of an interest in what made us who we are.
The stories of our parents, our grandparents, our great-grandparents, our great-great-grandparents (okay, you get the drift now) are a special reminder of where we once came from, and what it took to get us to this present moment.
It’s easy to forget that we weren’t the ones who wrote the first few chapters. They did. And now it is time for us to complete the story.
Okay, that’s great, but why does this even matter?
Nonsense I hear you say. Well let’s run through the pushback.
First, who even cares about where we were brought up, or where five generations before us once lived? I’m focused on my future. I’m focused on building out my own path. I’m focused on living my life and writing my own chapters. But if we disregard what it took to get you to the current stage of your life, we are writing a story that fails to acknowledge what is already written. And that’s a story I would not want to read.
Second, while our ancestors may have been brought up in a remarkably different era to the one in which we currently reside, is it not more important for us to “fit in” with our existing surroundings? We need to adapt in order to survive. Isn’t that what evolution taught us? Maybe, but it didn’t tell us to forget.
So let’s say we’ve taken the time to learn more about our history, and thus educate ourselves on our own story. There is still more to do.
A Story Isn’t a Story Unless We Share It
The beauty about a story is that it has the potential to stay immortal, the capacity to span several generations, the ability to touch the curiosity of multiple minds, and the hearts of many more. Or it can be lost. And what a shame that would be.
This is the risk that we face. When we fail to take an interest in our own history lessons, we compromise our ability to showcase who we really are. We compromise the ability of future generations to get to grips with who they will become and where their roots once originated. Our stories will start to lose their inherent beauty.
This risk is profound in my opinion.
We are fortunate enough to live in an age where we are able to interact with people from all walks of life. There is something uniquely special about hearing another person’s story, and of course telling your own, but it only becomes a story if we are crystal-clear on where it began.
And it’s easy to lose touch with our heritage, our roots, our people. The world is becoming increasingly fast-paced, increasingly engulfed by technology and new developments. Don’t get me wrong, it’s exciting.
But if all it takes is a simple question like “tell me about yourself” to remind us how little we know about our own journey, and of course the journeys that began before us, then something isn’t quite right.
Here’s a Little Glimpse of the First Few Chapters of My Story
My special place on this Earth is also home to the stories of over one billion people. She is a land that was once built on the colour and beauty of a diverse range of cultures, the power and strength of a handful of religions, and the intellect and depth of hundreds of languages and dialects. And while she may be home to a film industry that inspires us to dream, a music industry that is the beat to our souls, and a cuisine that, let’s be honest, adds a little bit of spice to life, she remains the largest democracy in the world.
I may not have been born there. And I may not live there. But I’ll tell you this. It is where my heart truly resides. It is where my mind wonders when I am lost in a wave of reminiscence.
And every time I revisit this special place, I am reminded of over a billion stories that are waiting to be told. I am reminded of how I too have a story that is waiting to be told.
I am reminded of where my story once began.
So the next time somebody asks you “tell me about yourself,” make sure you start with the real beginning. Who knows, you might find yourself writing the next chapter of your own story.
