Here’s Why Not Having Any Friends Can Be The Best Thing That Ever Happens to You

You can be happy on your own.

“Everyone needs a friend.”

That was the mantra of every show I watched as a kid. Whenever I’d watch Pokemon or Yugioh before school, that would be the theme at the end of every damn episode. Heck, if you’ve watched Dora or Blues Clues growing up, you know what I’m talking about.

Why?

Why are you taught as a kid to make friends and lean on your friends all of the time? I guess it’s a good way to make sure kids don’t stay in the house eating twinkies all day. But what else does it offer?

There are shy kids like me out there who had no idea how to make friends.

I used to get sad because of that. I never spoke to anyone. All I’d do is sit at the lunch table by myself and get through the rest of the day.

I was too scared to talk to anyone.

This leads me to my main point: being friendless can be the best thing that ever happens to you.

95% of the “friends” you meet will be acquaintances.

When you see people in huge groups or “squads” posing for the gram…they aren’t really friends.

They want it to look like they have tons of friends to cover up the fact that they have none. It’s a defense mechanism for people who are uncomfortable being alone. I can’t blame them.

We’re forced to make friends so much as children that it makes us flat-out terrified of being alone.

Acquaintances aren’t real friends because all they care about is what you can offer them. You might have money, recognition, or you know someone they want to get close to. It’s damn near a business relationship.

Once they get what they want, they bounce.

I understand some people legitimately have a lot of friends, but how many of those friends know the real you? If they don’t, that’s a true sign they’re just an acquaintance there for your clout.

Avoid being caught up in these fake ass “squads.”

You go on your own spiritual journey where you uncover your identity.

I had long periods of being a loner before I had friends.

I broke up with my old high school clique and had to start from scratch in college. During that period of limbo between graduating high school and enrolling in college, I began peeling back the onion.

I grew into my own beliefs, opinions, and morals. I also found out writing is my true passion in life. How?

I began focusing and reflecting on my own actions. I hated not having a passion so I started making lists of things I enjoyed as a kid. I narrowed down the list slowly and got to writing. I noticed it’s something I can do every day and never get bored and boom…passion. I also became way more in tune with social justice and began getting involved in activism in college.

You can’t uncover your identity if you spend it around your friends. It’s easy for you to lose your sense of direction when you have a million opinions thrown at you at once.

They could discourage you, make fun of you, chastise you, etc. Anything to put you on the path they think you should embark on.

You have to walk the walk alone and once you get on that bumpy road, you start seeing what you never saw before.

You get to find alternative emotional outlets.

Friends aren’t therapists.

No matter how much we want to lean on them and call them our rock, they’re just an emotional support system. Not a therapist. Plus, it’s not ideal to tell your friends about everything that goes on with you.

I didn’t tell one of my good friends that my mom got diagnosed with cancer earlier this year. Why?

Well, I’m a secretive person and I’ve never liked revealing anything personal to anyone. Whenever I tell someone my secrets, I always feel like they’re judging me on the inside. They can be the sweetest person ever, but I’d rather tell my feelings to a brick wall than a human being.

That’s not a bad thing.

This caused me to gravitate towards writing even more. It’s just me and my screen when I write. No one knows my business but my family and my computer. Sometimes I think my computer knows more about me than my family.

You might have a different emotional outlet like these:

• Drawing
• Painting
• Exercising
• Biking
• Hiking
• Cooking

There are emotional outlets you can use to your advantage. You don’t have to tell your deepest darkest secrets to a human. You can stick to what you enjoy and let that be your rock.

I swear hobbies don’t judge.

Final Thoughts

Forcing people to make friends has always been weird to me.

Some people are just shy and that’s okay. 95% of your “friends” are acquaintances, you get to find your own identity without any distractions, and you find alternative emotional outlets.

So I’ll leave you to it, friend.

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