Here’s What To Do When You’re Feeling Lost — A Practical Guide

#5 is the most important one

Often I’ve thought, “What do I want to do in life?”

What are my big goals? What are the dreams that keep me up at night?

Especially, when I look around and see all the amazing things people have accomplished — my peers, family members, acquaintances — everyone.

It feels isolating. And it's eerily lonely!

I felt this enormous burden on my chest screaming, “What is my calling?”

Society makes us falsely believe that we all have that ONE true thing we were sent to this earth to accomplish. It makes us attach our worth to work.

This year I realized that this couldn’t be farther from the truth.

I began to find joy and purpose in so many different areas of my life that it gave me the energy to chase the things I’ve always been terrified of.

The big things like writing online, building a startup, and getting damn fit!

All these might not be my “passions” but they got me unstuck — finally!

In her book, You Are a Badass, Jen Sincero, teaches people to become badass and breaks down the steps to take to find our “calling” if we’re lost:

#1 Put on the alien mindset

If we were to start from scratch what are the things we would try?

Guilt-free. Fearless. Uninhibited.

When we feel lost, it’s often because we have tried all the ‘familiar’ stuff and can’t seem to wrap our head around what fuels us the most.

We go through the cycles of trial and error and come back to square one. This alien approach helps to look at everything from a new lens.

If you could do things without the influence of those around you or your past or what you think is a ‘lucrative’ or ‘safe career’ — what would you do?

It could be as simple as thinking about:

• What are you incredibly good at doing and could do all day every day?
• What excites you the most and puts you in a flow state easily?
• What resources and opportunities could you make the most of today?
• What are the numerous possibilities that could come if you tried?

Sometimes it’s as simple as looking at things with new eyes to see how astoundingly fortunate we are.

You don’t have to have it all figured out. Even those who seem like they’ve nailed it made many many manyyyyyy attempts to get there.

#2 You needed to start yesterday

People glorify the start so much more than it is needed.

“I will start my company when I raise my first pre-seed round.”

“I will start selling when I build my product fully.”

“I will start writing when the right idea comes.”

Starting is the easier bit, it’s sticking through that is harder.

So start as early as possible. And then learn. At every step of the way.

Do yourself a favor and get out of your way.

When I started writing online I did not ‘know’ how to write perfectly. I still don’t know how to write the perfect article. I am a work-in-progress.

Taking that first step was all I needed to understand what fuels me, where I want to go with this writing, what other big writing goals I have, etc.

If I hadn’t written my first Medium post, you wouldn’t be reading this one.

Most answers reveal themselves through doing, not thinking.

It might feel overwhelming, but follow the noise and the energy you get from any opportunities or ideas that present themselves. If something excites you and has been on your mind, go do it and see for yourself!

#3 Do your bestestestest

Life is chaotic, messy, and unpredictable.

Especially, when we finally choose to go after the things we’ve dreamt of.

A lot of stuff interrupts our daily pursuit of our goals. You might join a new gym and realize you are struggling to make time to get there. Or it’s so busy when you arrive that you have to wait for a bike. Or you hurt your ankle.

It’s so easy to throw our hands up in the air and shrug it off like “I tried!”.

If we reflect a little deeper, we will know if we truly tried our 100% best.

And, I don’t mean that you show up with 100% energy, focus, and dedication every day. That’s not humanely possible.

Whatever fuel is left in the tank, give it all. Like your life depends on it.

All the different jobs I did right from college, were leading me to the path of writing online without me even knowing or realizing it.

Having a good attitude and being grateful for all the things that are helping you live the life of your dreams will not only make your life a more pleasant place to be, and get you bigger tips, but it will also raise your frequency and attract the people and opportunities to you that will take you in the direction you want to go.

The dots always connect when we look back. So keep moving ahead!

#4 Find yourself epic role models

There is SO much inspiration. If we view it as that and not a threat.

Instead of seeing every successful person who is living the life we aspire to live with jealousy or envy, approach it with an abundance mindset.

Life isn’t a zero-sum game.

It took me some tough self-love and hard real talk to realize I was letting my ego get in my way of admiring and approaching my role models.

Just because somebody else is BIG doesn’t make you small!

I found so much joy when I began seeing other successful writers as peers and started genuinely connecting with them from a place of integrity.

I got incredible feedback from them, I landed speaking opportunities via them and I learned so much more about their grit and hard work.

As a founder, I noticed which other founders I admired and what they did to manage their energies, goals, and personal lives to ‘try’ to have it all.

Because, no kidding, we can’t have it all, all the time.

The more specific, the easier it is to create a picture of what you want.

Put yourself out there and you never know what you might learn that will inform your next move, or whom you might meet that will present you with your next opportunity.

#5 No passion, no problem

Many of us aimlessly spend most of our lives looking for our one passion.

“Finding your passion” is an annoying exercise that some of us can’t relate to. After all, not all of us grew up sporty, artsy, or fashionistas from birth.

And, that is okay.

Most of the people I admire are obsessed with what piqued their interest or stirred their curiosity, not their one passion. They stay bloody curious!

Even if 2–3 things in your personal or professional life excite you, experiment with them. I made the mistake of giving up too soon if I didn’t see any success instead of tinkering with things that made me feel alive.

Experiment without fear of failure or results. It does not guarantee any success, but it does lead you to a system of trial and error that can help you narrow down what steps you want to take from here. Don’t stop trying!

Let yourself off the hook if you don’t have that one, big, perfect thing that you know you came here to do (same goes for finding the one, big, perfect soul mate, BTW), and feel good about the fact that you’ll probably fulfill several callings throughout your life (and possibly relationships).

Follow what feels good now, and it will lead you to live a purposeful life.

#6 Hey gut, you there?

We are so heavily influenced by the media we consume.

Or the stories we hear.

Our definitions of success, ideal life, businesses, careers, personal goals and so much more are a hodgepodge of what we see floating around us.

As a first-time founder, I was obsessed with raising capital for my startup.

It felt like the right thing to do. But, was it?

Deep down, I kept feeling like it wasn’t the right approach for me then.

It was all background noise. Distractions. Excuses. Nothing else!

If I hadn’t listened to my gut, I would still be on the brink of launching my startup. I would spend endless days attending investor pitches and so on.

Today, I am running a profit-generating startup as efficiently as possible. It gives me the freedom to test. It gives me time to write. It gives me space!

When you sit and ask, you get an answer. Eventually. Stick with it, be patient and wait to hear from your inner guidance. You have all the answers you need, you just need to give them the chance to get through to you.

Take a moment to pause and reflect on your actions. Sometimes, we’re so close to the elephant and used to our ways, that we can’t see the obvious.

#7 Unleash the fantasies

I love this part of the process so much.

Because it scares the living life out of me.

It is so nerve-wracking to shout out our big goals into the universe.

Like, really? Me? Write a book? Run a triathlon? Be an entrepreneur?

Whatever it might be for you, there is that voice inside that just wants you to take that plunge into the deep end and go after it for once.

Instead of thinking about what you should do, think about all you could!

Our fantasies are the most revealing peepholes into who we are and what we think is awesome. No matter how out-there and ridiculous they seem, they mean something to us and represent the biggest and best versions of ourselves. They are our realities in an excuse-free world.

The people who go after those dreamlike fantasies don’t care about the embarrassment of failure. They don’t have a bucketload of excuses.

A lot of those people are not even half as prepared or smart as we are. Yet, we shy away from taking that leap of faith because it’s “too good for us”.

We are terrified by how audacious it is for us to deserve or go after it.

What if we flipped the narrative and said “Screw it” and went for it?

The feeling of being lost can be attributed to various factors, including our inhibitions, societal constraints, and our scarcity mindset.

These are the BADASS ways Jen Sincero outlines to not feel lost, anymore.

Because what is the point of living a passive life?

See other stories about getting unstuck and making the most of your time!

I am the founder of Geeks and Experts, and I write about PR for startups, founder wellness, immigrant founders, and writerpreneurship!

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