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Abstract

m your collision with the floor, your brain is cranking up a story of denial. It must be someone else’s fault that you fell. Your rug was a perfect rug. Your world was infallible. You know this because you are in control, right? Except that you aren’t. No one is in total control of anything. Even the mighty have fallen.</p><p id="9249">Every one of us has sat on the floor at one time or another, near tears, wondering how this could possibly happen to us.</p><p id="d720">The first step to moving past the trauma is to accept it for what it is. Deal with the realities of your injuries. Deal with your pride that is telling you that it wasn’t your fault that you fell. It honestly doesn’t matter how you came to be on the ground. What matters is how you get back up.</p><h2 id="52af">Accept a helping hand</h2><p id="3e6f">Your next instinct may be to dismiss an outreached hand if one is offered. That’s pride talking. Push away the pride, not the offer of assistance. Realize that though you may be able to stand alone, you are probably stronger with someone else propping you up, even if only for a bit.</p><h2 id="0b88">Realize that this is not the narrative of your life</h2><p id="8396">The next hardest thing once you are standing is to block the tendency to believe that this is your new life — that now you will be prone to falling over and over. You certainly may fall again. It might even happen again next week. Or next month. But you need to tell yourself that each time you land on your butt you are not getting weaker; you are getting stronger.</p><p id="1163">Every time the rug is yanked you gain knowledge of how, when, why and what the heck to do about it, making subsequent falls easier to deal with.</p><p id="3eb5">You also need to learn to look at the whole of your life, not this one awful moment. Spend time reminding yourself of all the other times you fell and how you managed to get back up. Remember learning to ride a bike, skate or ski? Most likely you survived and turned those things into good times in your life. Remember the good times — even the ones that you now realize you may never relive.</p><p id="b7c5">Envision a timeline of your life. See the good memories as bright spots and mark this moment as merely a f

Options

uel stop for the growth that lies ahead of you.</p><h2 id="4aad">Lend a helping hand</h2><p id="cfb6">Nothing helps push your own misery out the door faster than helping someone else deal with theirs. There will always be someone less capable of picking themselves up off the floor. There will always be someone in need of your skills, your words, your guidance, your help, your time.</p><p id="b16d"><i>Each time you reach out a hand to help someone else up off the floor you get stronger.</i></p><h2 id="8c69">Consider getting a new rug</h2><p id="0571">I’m not saying that the fault of your tumble lies with the rug (it was yanked, remember?), but I am saying that every time you fall is a good time to analyze the big picture. The view from the floor is far different from the one you see standing on your own two feet. A friend told me last week that she can’t settle into a yoga-at-home without seeing how dirty her floors are.</p><p id="befe">That’s where you are right now. Before you rise so far from this fall that you dismiss what was painfully obvious from the floor, consider cleaning the dust bunnies out from under your couch. Consider making new habits that build on the help you extended to others. Consider plotting out the next few moves on your timeline, rather than continuing to stumble along, allowing fate to dictate your reactions.</p><h2 id="091e">Adapt to the old rug in new ways</h2><p id="c1dd"><i>Life can be like a pushy interior designer — barging in and rearranging things in a way that leaves you desperate for the comfort of your old habits.</i></p><p id="e725">You ended up on the floor because life yanked the rug right out from under you with no warning, no notice, no asking of permission. And while a good designer may rip things to shreds initially, their work eventually results in a better space — one with room for growth and usually filled with light. You can choose to let this moment open your life up to growth and light. You don’t have to keep putting the rug down in the exact same place where it has tripped you up before. It’s truly your choice what happens from here.</p><p id="b135">Looking for your accomplice in life? Sign up <a href="https://melindacrow.substack.com">here</a>.</p></article></body>

Here’s What to Do When the Rug Gets Yanked Out from Under You

We may all be sitting on the floor asking how the heck this happened, but honestly, does that make it any easier to deal with?

Photo by Žygimantas Dukauskas on Unsplash

One minute you’re standing firm, sure of your position in the world. The next instant you are flat on your ass. There’s a moment when you look around in disbelief, thinking you must be on the receiving end of someone’s idea of a cruel punk. But there’s nobody laughing around the corner.

The rug has been yanked from beneath your feet. It’s a jolt to the system. Your brain can’t process it fast enough to prevent you from hitting the ground hard. So there you sit. Trying to assess your injuries, trying to slow your heart rate, trying to catch your breath. Trying to hold back the tears. And if you look carefully enough, you may see that people all around are rubbing their behinds with the same look of shock that’s on your face right now.

At some point you’ll get to your knees, tentatively hoping they will support you. That accomplished, after a bit of hesitation, you will manage to stand. You’ll feel foolish. You’ll dust off your pants and rub your sore elbow. Are you bleeding? Maybe, but the sting of scrapes and scratches are not the source of your pain at that moment. Your pain, your trauma, is the impact. The suddenness of the fall. You landed hard. And it hurts.

Our world is filled with rug-yanking moments, both figurative and literal. I am sorry that you’ve fallen hard. The good news is that once you hit the floor, there is nowhere to go but up. Here are a few tips to help you get back on your feet and deal with whatever crashes may still be heading your way.

Accept that it happened

This may sound stupid, but even as you sit there trembling from your collision with the floor, your brain is cranking up a story of denial. It must be someone else’s fault that you fell. Your rug was a perfect rug. Your world was infallible. You know this because you are in control, right? Except that you aren’t. No one is in total control of anything. Even the mighty have fallen.

Every one of us has sat on the floor at one time or another, near tears, wondering how this could possibly happen to us.

The first step to moving past the trauma is to accept it for what it is. Deal with the realities of your injuries. Deal with your pride that is telling you that it wasn’t your fault that you fell. It honestly doesn’t matter how you came to be on the ground. What matters is how you get back up.

Accept a helping hand

Your next instinct may be to dismiss an outreached hand if one is offered. That’s pride talking. Push away the pride, not the offer of assistance. Realize that though you may be able to stand alone, you are probably stronger with someone else propping you up, even if only for a bit.

Realize that this is not the narrative of your life

The next hardest thing once you are standing is to block the tendency to believe that this is your new life — that now you will be prone to falling over and over. You certainly may fall again. It might even happen again next week. Or next month. But you need to tell yourself that each time you land on your butt you are not getting weaker; you are getting stronger.

Every time the rug is yanked you gain knowledge of how, when, why and what the heck to do about it, making subsequent falls easier to deal with.

You also need to learn to look at the whole of your life, not this one awful moment. Spend time reminding yourself of all the other times you fell and how you managed to get back up. Remember learning to ride a bike, skate or ski? Most likely you survived and turned those things into good times in your life. Remember the good times — even the ones that you now realize you may never relive.

Envision a timeline of your life. See the good memories as bright spots and mark this moment as merely a fuel stop for the growth that lies ahead of you.

Lend a helping hand

Nothing helps push your own misery out the door faster than helping someone else deal with theirs. There will always be someone less capable of picking themselves up off the floor. There will always be someone in need of your skills, your words, your guidance, your help, your time.

Each time you reach out a hand to help someone else up off the floor you get stronger.

Consider getting a new rug

I’m not saying that the fault of your tumble lies with the rug (it was yanked, remember?), but I am saying that every time you fall is a good time to analyze the big picture. The view from the floor is far different from the one you see standing on your own two feet. A friend told me last week that she can’t settle into a yoga-at-home without seeing how dirty her floors are.

That’s where you are right now. Before you rise so far from this fall that you dismiss what was painfully obvious from the floor, consider cleaning the dust bunnies out from under your couch. Consider making new habits that build on the help you extended to others. Consider plotting out the next few moves on your timeline, rather than continuing to stumble along, allowing fate to dictate your reactions.

Adapt to the old rug in new ways

Life can be like a pushy interior designer — barging in and rearranging things in a way that leaves you desperate for the comfort of your old habits.

You ended up on the floor because life yanked the rug right out from under you with no warning, no notice, no asking of permission. And while a good designer may rip things to shreds initially, their work eventually results in a better space — one with room for growth and usually filled with light. You can choose to let this moment open your life up to growth and light. You don’t have to keep putting the rug down in the exact same place where it has tripped you up before. It’s truly your choice what happens from here.

Looking for your accomplice in life? Sign up here.