Here’s What I’m Stock-Piling
Coffee. Tuna Fish. And One More Very Important Thing
Being a student of history who has always been hyper-aware of the impact of disasters like the 1918 Influenza Pandemic, when I first read about the emergence of COVID-19 in China, I knew exactly what to do.
I ordered in a month’s worth of Starbucks Organic French Roast coffee.
Coffee is what motivates me to get out of bed each morning and I didn’t want to face a crisis without it.
Over the next week, I added the following to my Coronapocaplyse Pantry:
Low salt tuna. Low salt chickpeas. (I’ve got Meniere’s Disease, which means that even during a pandemic I’ve got to severely limit my sodium intake or I’ll start walking into walls.)
Frozen vegetables and brown rice.
And, of course, 10 boxes of Girl Scout Cookies.
(Although, technically, I didn’t stockpile cookies in anticipation of a crisis. I already had 10 boxes of Thin Mints in my freezer. I usually do. (Don’t judge me.)
The one thing I neglected to hoard?
Toilet paper.
As of yesterday, I was down to my last roll. And everybody online was lamenting that all the stores were all out.
So I got creative. I posted this notice on my Facebook page:
Anybody want to trade a roll of toilet paper for a box of girl scout cookies? I’ve got 10 boxes of Thin Mints in the fridge but I’m down to my last roll.
What was the response?
As anticipated, I enjoyed a bunch of snarky wisecracks from my Smartass Facebook friends.
But within an hour, my friend and neighbor Lauri brought over a roll. She didn’t want the cookies, but finally agreed to take them when I twisted her arm. (Then we went on a great walk, staying 6 feet away from each other at all times.)
And my friend and neighbor Amy promised to bring me a few more rolls from the bakery she runs. In the meantime? She dropped off a container of The Night Kitchen Bakery’s outstanding black bean soup.
So? I’ve got enough toilet paper. And a good supply of coffee and comestibles.
Better yet? I’ve got a terrific supply of good neighbors.
I think I can get through this.
( Writing Coach and Medium Sherpa Roz Warren writes for everyone from the Funny Times to the New York Times, has been in 13 Chicken Soup for the Soul collections, and is the author of Our Bodies, Our Shelves: Library Humor. Drop her a line at [email protected].)
