STRATEGIES TO QUIT

Here's How You Can Overcome That Pesky Self-Sabotage and Quit Drinking for Good

Here are a few ideas to free yourself from your shackles.

It seems that I tried to quit drinking endlessly. Yet, I made a concerted effort only three times to sober up seriously.

When I say seriously, I mean not quitting for a few days or weeks. Serious to me meant quitting for life.

What's the problem, you may wonder. The old self-sabotage hammer came down hard and hit me on the head.

The first two times I quit, I did so quietly. No one but my husband and my sister knew.

Hubby and I went to a wedding both times. When my sister-in-law, the bride's mother, suggested I could surely have one Cosmopolitan, I agreed. After all, I didn't want to appear unable to have one little drink.

The same thing happened at the second wedding.

If I'd told my family that I quit drinking and needed support in staying sober, they would've gladly backed me up.

Those two times were my dumbest self-sabotaging experiences. I "thought" I could drink at those weddings, yet within, I knew I was lying to myself.

What is self-sabotage?

According to the online addiction recovery site Monument:

Simply put, self-sabotage is any behavior that prevents a person from reaching a goal, milestone, or accomplishment.

According to Lisa Savage, LCSW and founder of The Center for Childhood Development in Newark, DE:

Self-sabotage looks like someone achieving a level of success but engaging in behaviors that keep them stuck.

That's exactly my story. I had a level of success — several months of sobriety but fell easily into addiction again without putting up a fight. I continued to imbibe for a number of months until my next attempt.

Overcoming self-sabotage

Savage advises:

The first step in changing unhealthy behaviors is to examine one’s patterns and actions. It’s essential to look inward without judgment and with honest reflection.

Looking inward, I admitted that I loved drinking. I loved the taste of my Manhattans and Cosmopolitans. The first sip was heavenly. I had to understand that I would miss that. At least in the beginning.

I committed to sobriety by listing all I wanted to achieve and what I was afraid alcohol was doing to my mind and body.

In the two years leading up to eliminating my sabotaging ways and attaining sobriety, I gained knowledge by reading many quit-lit books.

I learned how important commitment is. I gained information about cravings and relapses and how to avoid them.

I also understood the importance of self-care.

There's plenty of help available. Not everyone can quit the way I did. You must find the way that is right for you.

Quitting drinking is hard work. I made it the work of my life as I knew my life depended on it.

Does yours? Is your life and health critical enough for you to learn how to tame your self-sabotage?

Figure out why you're sabotaging. What are you afraid of? I was worried I'd be a bore. I was scared of failing again.

My husband enjoys cocktails nightly, and I thought the temptation would be overwhelming.

It's not. I'm five years sober, and he's still drinking—no more sabotage for me. I plan on being alcohol-free for the rest of my days.

You must be clear on how, when, and why self-sabotage behaviors show up in your life and be straightforward and honest in your desire to be alcohol-free.

If you feel stuck in your self-sabotaging ways, seek help from an experienced addiction counselor.