The Ultimate How-To

Here’s How I’ve Made My Fortune on Medium

I’m two digits to the left, to the left, baby!

Okay. Imma break it down nice and easy. Nice and slow. That’s how you like it, right? Nice and easy and slow. Well, here it is.

July 2020=$.44 cents (two digits, yes, but wrong side of the decimal point) Aug 2020=$2.78 Sept 2020=.88 cents (I let August go to my head and slacked ya’ll) Oct 2020=$9.00 Nov 2020=$13.42 (HOT DAMN. Get ma agent on da phone!)

Five months. That’s it. Am I a writing whiz or what?! It only took me 5 measly months to make that two-digit income I had been dreaming of.

Swimming pools. Movie stars.

And then the Great Crash of 2020/2021 happened. All two months of it. It was dreadful.

Dec 2020=$4.11 Jan 2021=$8.28 Feb 2021=$13.70 (I’m back into double digits again!)

Mar 2021=$23.87

I’m moving to Beverly Hills!!! That’s right. You read it here first. I’m moving cross-country in my new-to-me Mercedes with my mom jeans in the trunk. Everything else I’ll buy when I get there.

Surely, Cali has a Dollar Tree, don’t they?

Here’s who you can “thank” for this… whatever “this” is.

Simon Dillon, Charles H. Roast, Jason, Aldric Chen, K.B. Hubbard

I thought My Boys could use a chuckle ;-)