Summary

The author discusses the challenges and insecurities of parenting in the modern age, emphasizing the importance of community support, self-compassion, and embracing the learning curve of parenthood.

Abstract

The article "Here Is Why Being Clueless Is Quite Alright" delves into the author's personal experiences with the uncertainties of raising a child. Despite feeling clueless and relying heavily on the internet for guidance, the author acknowledges the vital role of community, albeit noting the challenges of distance and introversion. The piece highlights the importance of asking for help, overcoming perfectionism, and recognizing personal growth. The author reflects on the successes and milestones of their child, reinforcing the idea that experience, not initial expertise, is the key to improvement in parenting. The article concludes with the author's commitment to continuous learning and gratitude for the wealth of information available online.

Opinions

The author expresses a deep reliance on the internet for parenting advice, from simple queries about baby drool to reassurance about their child's development.
There is an appreciation for the traditional concept of "it takes a village" to raise a child, with a nod to the wisdom of experienced family members.
The author admits to struggling with perfectionism and the pressure to be a "Superwoman," which they recognize as a hindrance to their parenting journey.
Self-compassion is advocated as the author learns to not be so hard on themselves and to give themselves credit for their achievements amidst challenging circumstances.
The author values the role of experience in personal development, drawing parallels to their own achievements in education, driving, and travel as evidence that learning and improvement are possible with practice.
The article conveys a sense of optimism about the future, with the author pledging to embrace ignorance and strive for betterment in parenting, while also acknowledging the helpfulness of online resources.

Here Is Why Being Clueless Is Quite Alright

Honesty moment:

Sometimes, I feel like I don’t know what in the world I’m doing.

I Google or Pinterest dern near everything at every stage Baby before making a decision. Down to as simple as “How much should my baby drool” because she’s just started growing teeth and the incessant slobber has me looking at her like she’s a Saint Bernard. “Is this child normal?”

Oh, sweet baby-Google-Jesus. Please tell me.

A few articles later, I conclude, “Yes. She is,” and breathe a sigh of relief.

Seriously, I’m clueless. I’m thankful for the internet.

Still, from what I can tell from internet mommy experts, somehow I’m doing a great job!

How sway?

Would my baby be healthy and developing properly if the internet didn’t exist? I’m afraid to find out. How moms did well at this before the world-wide-web is beyond me.

Oh, yea. That thing called Community.

I remember hearing “it takes a village” to do this parenting thing correctly and successfully. I’m sure it helped to have mothers, grandmothers, and aunts who successfully raised a human already, so they know what to do. You can call them for anything, and they’d be right over.

How long should the baby sleep? What is a healthy serving size for a new toddler? Why is she putting her finger in her twat?

Except I’m in Asia, where I’ve been living for three years, so my community reach is a bit different. Sure, I can still call up my grandmother or aunts, but the time difference is always a thing.

In addition to my distance, I’m a textbook introvert. This pushes me into “I can do it” mode a little harder.

These tips keep me grounded and evolving.

1. Get over yourself

I must learn to ask for help. I’ve been offered several times but haven’t reached back. Partly because COVID is still an issue floating around, and I’m deathly afraid of her getting sick. Partly because I’m a stubborn something-or-other convinced that I can be Superwoman and do it all.

Well, I might not know what I’m doing, but that doesn’t mean I’m failing. In fact, I realize now that I’m the reason I’m struggling so hard.

Perfectionism is a disease that needs to be contained.

So, I’m working on it.

2. Don’t be so hard on yourself

I really had to start giving myself some credit for all that has happened and how far I’ve come. My partner and I have had a crazy start to our new little family, thanks to COVID and international border closings. Actually, I shared the story on my Instagram and it got picked up by Madamnoire, so I wrote an article about it.

Still, we’ve managed to cultivate a beautiful baby girl who’s hitting her milestones like Simone Biles on the vaulting table.

You go, girl!

I’m proud of her. She’s safe. She’s developing well. She’s healthy. That’s the equivalent of three gold stars!

Even on the days I feel like a lost puppy who just needs a hug and a warm bed, I somehow manage to keep this little girl smiling. She has no idea how bad I am at mothering (if I am). To her, I’m the world.

I have to give a shoutout to B J Robertson for reminding me that failure can have its own beautiful lining. Be it writing, dancing, or parenting, experience is what makes us better.

Experience is the greatest teacher, after all.

I remember this: I didn’t know how to do school before I started, and look, I’ve got degrees now. I didn’t know how to drive a car, but guess who can parallel-park like the greats! I had no idea about traveling the world before my first passport stamp, and I’m on the way to achieving my personal goal of visiting 44 countries in my lifetime. (So far, I’m at 22 — halfway there!)

3. Start somewhere and get better

We all start off in ignorance. Then we grow from there. Every single thing you do (that isn’t an auto-response gifted by nature, like, say, swallowing your food) you have come to learn. So, it started from nothing, and things just got better and better with more practice.

I’d like to think this is how parenting will go too. I’m going to accept my ignorance and, with the purest of intention, vow to do my best.

Then, for everything else, there’s always the internet gods who never let me down.

Thank you, and Amen.

If you liked this article, please give it some hand-claps. I’m new here; tryna grow. Thanks for your support :-) More to come!