Here Are The Nominees For Highest Rock Star Ever At MTV VMA’s
The most intoxicated celebrities on live television in VMA history
They still make music videos. MTV in it’s current form doesn’t show them, but they still give awards to them. Why? Because money.
Don’t blame MTV for not showing videos. Why would a punk rock kid want to sit through hip hop and rap videos to not hear the one punk song they never play when you can stream it on demand for free?
MTV is dying. YouTube and Vevo are the future. MTV’s website doesn’t even have an SSL certificate as of the date I wrote this. But the MTV VMA’s will exist until musicians stop showing up.
When musicians are forced by their label to make non-musical public appearances, they sometimes get high. But who was the most lit while Lit played? What were they high on?
These are the MTV VMA moments that made us go, “Damn, I want some of that.”
Courtney Love throwing things in her purse at Madonna
“Courtney is dire need of attention.” Madonna states after dodging a bag of peanuts thrown at her.
Technically this shouldn’t count because it was after the awards. But I love this clip. Courtney is supposed to be the one embarrassing herself but (Bitch, I’m) Madonna is the one who comes off like an uptight bitch. Jokes on Madonna, you can’t embarrass Courtney Love. Courtney don’t give a fuck and hates your shoes.
My guess is benzos and booze.
Michael Jackson accepts award that doesn’t exist
In 2002 the VMA’s fell on Michael Jackson’s birthday and he just happened to be in New York. MTV goes, “Quick, let’s throw something together for him to do!”
They made him a cake and had peak-form Brittney introduce him. In all fairness that diamond encrusted treble clef does look a lot like an award.
Britney introduced him as who she considers the artist of the millennium. An uncharacteristically masculine sounding Michael Jackson accepted the award for Artist of the Millenium and proceeds to give the most bizarre acceptance speech for an award that doesn’t exist in history. Best line:
“I need to thank David Blaine. Your magic is real and I believe in you.” — Michael Jackson 2002 VMA’s
With the sniffles, disconnect with reality, and his known affinity for weird drugs my guess is ketamine.
Diana Ross boobles ‘Lil Kim
If you don’t want to be touched you shouldn’t leave that out like that. My favorite part of the clip is where she gets ‘Lil Kim to move her arm so the camera gets it.
That’s weed for sure.
Whatever the hell Myley Cyrus did to Mr. Seaver’s kid
It wasn’t the sexuality or the whole old-enough-to-be-her-dad thing, it’s the terribleness of it all. That image of Miley’s face contorted like the aftermath of a human strike on an Amtrack with that poster boy for mid-stage alcoholism celebuspan sweating behind her.
Robin Thicke looks like a coked-out mattress salesman brought to the strip club on his birthday by his co-workers getting a lap dance on stage. Robin has a big undeserved shit eating grin while slurring through the most garbage song ever to be a hit.
Yeah yeah, she’s not a kid anymore. I get it. But I don’t get it. It got people talking but mostly about how disgusting Robin Thicke is.
She wants us to think she’s on molly. I hope this was drugs because if she was sober and thought this was a good idea, Miley’s got bigger issues.
Everyone in this MTV after party video from 1985
Cocaine must have been fantastic in the 80’s. Everyone is so mean and flippant. You know it’s a good party when Rick James is the most lucid person there.
And the winner is:
CC Deville is in another dimension
Notice how the song starts 30 seconds in on the video. It wasn’t clipped. CC just grabbed his guitar without being given a cue and started playing.
Never mind the commercial break. Fuck Arsenio’s intro. I’m playing Unskinny Bop right the fuck now!
Some people say it’s Brett’s fault for using the words talk dirty like it was a prompt for CC. Because when he finally got his guitar plugged back in after stepping on the cable that’s what he played.
Poison was only supposed to play one song. The song they rehearsed was Unskinny Bop.
What was CC on?
Everything. CC is blacked out on his feet. Playing guitar is an instinct for talents like him. He probably remembered nothing when he woke up. I don’t recognize this level of incoherency but I’ll take a bump of whatever he had.