Help My Poodle Get Her Bling On

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stint in the dog shelter where I volunteer.</p><p id="e979">She was so antisocial no one wanted her. Eventually she came to live with me to make room for more attractive rescue dogs. Although my home is rich with love I don’t have enough money to support the lifestyle PooDoo was raised with. At her session with the dog whisperer PooDoo revealed that’s the reason she’s been sulking and unhappy in my home.</p><p id="b656">She’s longing for the diamond studded collar her mommy hawked to buy meth after the divorce. I’ve tried rhinestones but the keen sense of smell her breed is known for tips PooDoo off. She knows a genuine diamond when she smells one and won’t accept imitation gemstones. PooDoo won’t leave the house and cries everytime she sees her naked neck in the mirror.</p><p id="6a70">Please find it in your heart to buy PooDoo the diamonds she deserves. Imagine being born into a life of luxury only to have it stripped away from you. It’s an all too familiar rescue dog story. Your generous donations can break her cycle of trauma and help PooDoo heal, one piece of bling at a time.</p><p id="7a54">Funds raised above and beyond the $3,000,099 goal will be used to pay for additional items on PooDoo’s wishlist:</p><ul><li>Egyptian silk dog bed filled with flamingo feathers</li><li>Titanium water dish with BPA-free lining</li><li>Spa dates with celebrity dogs (PooDoo has connections!)</li></ul><h2 id="febd">Look at this face! My precious PooDoo deserves the best!</h2><figure id="336c"><img src="https://cdn-ima

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ges-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/0*G7NorgXPwVLvPM_G"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@viktortalashuk?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Viktor Talashuk</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><h2 id="3c96">Also consider these life-changing, laugh-inducing fundraisers</h2><div id="3881" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/gofundme-my-fake-eyelashes-5717ff63c22d"> <div> <div> <h2>GoFundMe My Fake Eyelashes</h2> <div><h3>I’ve lived my whole life with a facial hair deficiency</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*e76FWAAZfZcRl7rX)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="e444" class="link-block"> <a href="https://muddyum.net/gofundme-a-mansion-c1408424ac59"> <div> <div> <h2>GoFundMe a Mansion</h2> <div><h3>I regret becoming a Tiny Home dwelling minimalist</h3></div> <div><p>muddyum.net</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*2qUIgUUxEXvbpczx)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

A GoFundMe for my baby’s diamond studded collar

As a dog mom it breaks my heart to see my baby live a life of mediocrity. Anyone who has ever adopted a dog knows how important it is to build trust. My purebred rescue poodle, PooDoo, was still sulking around after being with me for three whole days. Her indifference toward me was agonizing and I felt we would never bond.

After trying everything else I finally took her to a dog whisperer. I learned about PooDoo’s traumatizing past. She grew up in Beverly Hills wearing diamond studded collars and going to the dog spa every week. Following a nasty divorce, her mommy could no longer afford the life of luxury PooDoo was accustomed to.

As any responsible poodle owner would, PooDoo’s mommy abandoned her on the Hollywood Walk of Fame hoping someone richer would take her home. Unfortunately a series of misadventures led to a scandalous affair with a mutt. After several pregnancies poor PooDoo spent a lengthy stint in the dog shelter where I volunteer.

She was so antisocial no one wanted her. Eventually she came to live with me to make room for more attractive rescue dogs. Although my home is rich with love I don’t have enough money to support the lifestyle PooDoo was raised with. At her session with the dog whisperer PooDoo revealed that’s the reason she’s been sulking and unhappy in my home.

She’s longing for the diamond studded collar her mommy hawked to buy meth after the divorce. I’ve tried rhinestones but the keen sense of smell her breed is known for tips PooDoo off. She knows a genuine diamond when she smells one and won’t accept imitation gemstones. PooDoo won’t leave the house and cries everytime she sees her naked neck in the mirror.

Please find it in your heart to buy PooDoo the diamonds she deserves. Imagine being born into a life of luxury only to have it stripped away from you. It’s an all too familiar rescue dog story. Your generous donations can break her cycle of trauma and help PooDoo heal, one piece of bling at a time.

Funds raised above and beyond the $3,000,099 goal will be used to pay for additional items on PooDoo’s wishlist:

Egyptian silk dog bed filled with flamingo feathers

Titanium water dish with BPA-free lining

Spa dates with celebrity dogs (PooDoo has connections!)

SATIRE | HUMOR

Help My Poodle Get Her Bling On

A GoFundMe for my baby’s diamond studded collar

Look at this face! My precious PooDoo deserves the best!

Also consider these life-changing, laugh-inducing fundraisers

GoFundMe My Fake Eyelashes

I’ve lived my whole life with a facial hair deficiency

GoFundMe a Mansion

I regret becoming a Tiny Home dwelling minimalist