Help! I’m in Medium Jail

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I keep trying to comment on all your stories, but my comments aren’t working. Is this some adjunct Medium jail purgatory?

Did someone find out I thought my comments were hilarious and they were like, “Shut her up?”

But who are they? Are they the same they who said, “Lock her up” about Hillary Clinton? Is this an I HATE WOMAN who hate cookies thang?

I know what you’re thinking. Amy Sea is on her period, but that has nothing to do with it. The Rest Cure was real, people! The Rest Cure was an archaic chauvinistic cure they used on women back in the day to shut us up.

The doctors prescribed men to take away spices, bright lights, and any other stimulation from women who were too creative, enthusiastic, or angry — which is pretty much all of us. Is Medium trying to Rest Cure me?

Just this morning, I was reading a hilarious yoga story by Andrew Rodwin, Brudditor, NaCL on MuddyUm. Andrew was making fun of couch potatoes who watch Gilmore Girls and I pressed the comment button.

I was going to comment “Who me?” or “Qui Moi?” which may or may not be proper French for who me. But nothing happened! There was no room in the Inn for my comments.

Once, when I was working at a library, two French-speaking African men came to my window and I tried to speak French to them. If cringing were audible, I would have heard them audibly cringing.

They said to me, in the most beautiful accents, “Please, English!” Then they proceeded to clean each other's ears out with Clorox and this was pre-pre-pre-Clorox being used for COVID. They were quite desperate to remove my French from their ears. Is that what Medium is doing now? Trying to cleanse their ears of me?

Anywho, does anyone have any idea what’s up with the comments? If I pour Clorox on my Medium account, will it set my comments free?

Help me! Aider Moi!