Helmets Matter — My LRA Test Scores Prove My Point

First Memory. Brain Bleed. Life after death — Don't Miss This Story — From Impossible to Possible, I proved Everyone wrong.

Have you ever asked yourself what a fairytale is? The cool thing about humans is we all have a different perspective on things—my unique set of past life challenges I conquered may be different than yours. Still, along with all of our blood, sweat, and tears, we can relate to something together and work towards a better future.

HOPEFULLY, you perceive this article in a helpful way. Being a Dual Diagnosed Addict in recovery may feel impossible! If you're an addict of any nature and reading this, remember to share it with others so we can spread light in the direction it needs to be shined most.

I have made many regrettable decisions throughout my life due to using mind-altering substances. These choices have profoundly impacted my overall well-being and have caused significant harm to my overall health. The influences of these substances continuously clouded my judgment and impaired my ability to make rational decisions. Drugs were running my life, and I was about to be in a world of trouble if I didn’t devise a solution to stop them. Drugs hijacked my brain into thinking they were the ‘only fix’ to my never-ending fuckin upside-down world problems. If there weren’t a strong reason for me to get high, I would create it.

Addicts come up with our versions of ‘the classic assumption game.’ Most addicts use these schemes to keep themselves in the active cycle of addiction. My classic assumption brain always came to this conclusion, which was always false. ‘Everyone is drinking, & smoking pot, and using drugs’ — repeat, repeat, BOOM, IT MUST BE TRUE, let’s RELAPSE.

This homemade CLASSIC assumption-type thinking kept me in that active cycle of addiction. Assuming everyone was using it was my false assumption. Considering it’s okay to relapse over false beliefs is quite normal. If you owned addiction as I did, then remember that drugs have your fuckin brain cells, bro, and you are never going to find the best version of yourself if you keep using. You’re not going to be at your best game — you might feel like a superhero on meth, but you are not. Staying up without sleep puts our minds into Psychosis; on about day number 3–4, you’ll start to hallucinate, seeing very weird things. K.i.s.s. was hard to make a daily habit.

Was forgiving my past actions was attainable?

My fridge turned into that affirmation station with sticky notes all over the place. One of my first therapists told me writing these yourself, sticking them all over the place, & reading them when you arise in the morning can set off your day in the right direction. I made myself write these affirmation notes. Sticking them on the fridge was my first go, then came the mirror. Reflecting while looking at my reflection in the mirror, saying I was sorry for acting and treating myself with so much disrespect put me at a high point in my recovery!

The more you see your handwriting around the house with little affirmations, the more you think it’s possible. That’s a fact I learned the hard way!

The more I stayed clean, the more I remembered past memories. If you asked me what my first memory was five years ago, I would have said something totally different.

I was at a different point in my life.

“Now I’m Grateful to share I have been sober for three years & four months. The gift of clarity has transformed my life in very outstanding memorial way.”

My first memory to date — now, thanks to my sobriety, I can remember more. I was only three years old. I remember my mom pushing me on the dirt road in my stroller. My sister was riding her bike alongside us. It was bumpy and hard to steer. I can still hear my mom saying: “Tomorrow, the city is giving us a new road!”

I had a brand-new bike; I just had to learn to ride it without training wheels... Soon my time would come!

I have one older sibling who is three years older than me. She taught me how to ride my bike without those training wheels by the time I was four. I can remember like it was yesterday now, thanks to my sobriety, that she and my parents were always screaming, “Go, go, go, GO!!!”

I had biking down now, training wheels got taken off, ladies and gents I even took the training wheels off myself! My dad always had me out wrenching in the garage with him at a very young age so through observational learning Ive learned a lot. Turning that wrench at four makes me quite the handyman now that's for sure!

Reading was something my sister picked up on very quickly! I remember my first book involved a ‘gaslighter’ as the author! My sister read me Clifford’s The Big Red Dog back-to-back until around five years of age. They just came out with a new movie a few years ago.

That took a long time to write the script.

5yro-Then I could read it myself! Reading created imagination; it helped me understand very young that not everything you read is true! “You have no idea how many backyards I looked in for that Big Red Dog!”

Green Eggs and Ham along with the rest of the Dr. Suess books, lost my appeal when my parents introduced Duke! That lively Dalmatian was introduced into our family right after my sister broke my heart, saying dogs are or will not, in fact, ever turn red! ‘Unless you spray-paint them.’ Any who Duke had spots and a penchant for chasing chipmunks up trees. Just a habit I observed by watching him out the window in the living room after I got taught “how we needed to let him outside and go potty.” “How we needed to water his bowl.”

I just needed to know why we got spots on our dog. Not how getting a dog in life makes you have chores to do. Was that my parents point? Yes. I asked.

“Finding out my sister bagged our parents for that dog after 101 Dalmatians came out in 1996 makes me hate tv even more!” — D.Carp

Whenever Duke barked excitedly at a tree, If I were inside, I would rush to put my shoes on eagerly to join him, often glancing upwards to spot a curious chipmunk perched on a branch.

Getting a dog meant CHORES. Like I wsa saying….Some people have no clue what those are which is why I added ^Link^ above! Soon as school started to become a difficult task, I had more stressful situations, but that was okay. Life was supposed to be that way, and my teacher always reminded me that studying was not easy. Having slight trouble concentering on certain things was confirmed from the reading test we took. That yellow A, B, C, and D with multiple-choice answers?

The LRA reading test was a fantastic tool for my brain development.

• It provided me with a comprehensive assessment
• It Identified areas of strength and areas that need improvement.
• By engaging in this test — we were taken to a wide range of texts and vocabulary, which enhanced my language skills also.

The test encouraged my critical thinking and problem-solving abilities, as the children must analyze and comprehend complex passages. I was improving rapidly. I was actually way above my class! The LRA reading test is an excellent way to laugh at your friends for being dumb.

This LRA TEST is a perfect point of reflection on why wearing a helmet is so crucial to our heads. On the day of the accident IF I would of wore one — It probably wouldn’t have set me back to square one!

Bike Accident

When the day was dull at home, or we shall just call it boredom. When we got bored, it was time to ride a bike or something. I was biking with my sister that day. She was my best friend! We decided we were going down to the boat landing. We both knew the road just got fresh blacktop; riding on the blacktop was so smooth compared to the old rocky road we had. I was not wearing a helmet.

Suddenly, I experienced those speed wobbles that caused me to flip over the handlebars. I could only see a bright white light at that moment, and I felt an instant warm blanket cover over me. God Bless My sister. She had recently just watched me hit the guard rail so hard; her walking up to me with my eyes rolled to the back of my head made her scream furiously.

I was moaning & my sister was in total shock. We didn’t have a dummy phone either to call 911. My sister drove to the nearest house down the road and CALLED 911.

Ashlee’s quick thinking and decisive action ultimately saved my life.

When I found myself in a dire situation, she wasted no time in pursuing the peddling over to the nearest house to dial 911. Providing them with precise details about our location without freaking out was the most heroic thing someone has ever done for me! A helicopter could land directly in the parking lot closest to the scene thanks to her clear instructions. Although I couldn’t see it, the sound of the aircraft was what woke me up.

I remember me saying, “Mom, Mom, MOM!!!” I then looked at my chest, noticing all the wires stuck to me. I was petrified. Sitting entirely upright on the stretcher in the helicopter, I asked the nurse where my mom was!

“She will be here soon, honey. Just put your head back down.” — Nurse

2 Long Weeks

Now a Coma is a state of prolonged loss of consciousness. It can have a variety of causes, including traumatic head injury, stroke, brain tumor, or drug or alcohol intoxication problems. After my Coma, I woke up to presents all over the hospital room because my parents were told they didn’t know if I would fight my way out of it.

Coma, my Ash!!!

Waking up from a coma is like emerging from a deep, dreamless sleep. My transition was awkward & disorienting as my mind struggled to reconnect with the world. My memories were hazy, and as it took time to regain consciousness, I felt like a new person. My parents couldn’t stop crying when I woke up, and that’s all I could think was about that color yellow on the Hummer Remote Control in front of me.”

Doctor Discharge Info —

“Physical weakness is expected as Derek’s muscles have atrophied from lack of use over the two weeks, spand everything will feel like rubber. Rehabilitation and therapy are often necessary to rebuild strength and coordination. The journey to recovery is unique for each individual, but with time and support, many can regain their independence and resume their lives.” — Dr. Knowitall.

Inappropriately discharged has severe consequences for patients, including compromised health outcomes like a forever cracked hip & have a limp. They did not look at my entire body; they just observed my head. I’ll thank the doctors now for missing such a drastic thing! I’m grateful they saved my life, but as soon as I woke up from the Coma, they pushed me out the door ASAP!

Mom said- “It seemed the doctors were so nervous about your brain bleeding they didn’t check your whole body as much as they should have”

This Healthcare provider had a crucial responsibility to prioritize the patient's safety and ensure the proper discharge; now, if they had taken the necessary measures, maybe my leg wouldn't hurt ‘right before its about to rain.’ I wouldn’t have a limp today with a cracked hip bone or got overlooked with a kick in the ass out the door.

By sharing my personal traumatic brain injury, I hope to contribute towards this goal I had since this happened and that is “ultimately creating a safer and more effective healthcare system.”

On my ride home, I remember getting gas in the vehicle before we took off & we were heading somewhere my parents told me. ‘I didn’t know what it was like restarting over yet. Trying to learn my senses again was frightening and quite complicated. The yellow remote-control truck was all I had on my mind.’

Getting back home Everything was new to me again; looking at my old Mongoose bike brought me back right away though. I was sincerely out of all my memories, but as soon as I saw my old bike I crashed with, I got sent back to memory lane. Remembering all the previous memories after simply looking at the bike was so weird, huh?

It’s fascinating how the brain works. My head hurt; my legs hurt — everything hurt! That was until this game system hit the block.

When I first played Nintendo 64, I was instantly captivated. The graphics were revolutionary, the gameplay was immersive, and the controller felt comfortable in my hands. It was love at first sight.

Video game addiction wasn’t even a thing yet in society. Many individuals, particularly young people like me at that time, found themselves spending excessive amounts of time playing N64!

This addiction can have serious consequences, including social isolation, poor academic performance, and even physical health issues. To experience withdrawal symptoms young when you can’t play means irritability, restlessness, and difficulty concentrating. This preoccupation can lead to neglect of other vital areas of life, such as school, work, and relationships.

My bike accident, N64, & T.V - sucked me to become an inside kid so then came these characteristics —

• Unable to limit the time spent playing, often playing for hours without taking breaks.
• Neglect essential self-care, such as eating and sleeping.

“This loss of control seriously affects mental well-being, especially in adolescence!” — D.Carp

I spent countless hours exploring the vast worlds of Super Mario 64, battling opponents in GoldenEye 007, and racing against friends in Mario Kart 64. The games were diverse and offered me endless amount of entertainment. Each game had its unique charm and kept me coming back for more. Even after all these years, the memories of playing Nintendo 64 still make me smile.

Turok Dinosaur Hunter

My first blowjob — COMMON SENSE had me putting cold air where the heat was... Now people are blowing on hot stoves to cool them off?!

I played this game daily after my bike accident. That eventually turned into a habit. After 21 days, the habit becomes an everyday thing; studies have proven that.

I became addicted to playing video games. I didn’t know how crucial this would pan out later in life but looking back, that N64 took something special from me that I want you to all know! It took the outside from me. I could have spent a lot of lost time with Duke or something else, but it’s a hard lesson learned.

When always outside, it used to be unique to be alive; I could smile, and the feel-good feelings were there.

This traumatic brain injury played a significant role in my diagnosis today! My life changed after not wearing a helmet that day. It was like I was reborn again after my bike accident. Reborn with hatred, depression, and anxiety. That LRA Reading test I took that following school year — My reading level went down.

7th-grade reading level in 3rd grade was unreal — before the accident.

Everyone had to attend school again after summer was over. I went back to school to see my old friends again. There was something new for all of us students that year too!

They were the black Dell’s.

I was shoving the wires down the hole in the computer desk-type things in the library when one of my friends asked me about the Internet. The internet got explained to me at school by one of the biggest perverts in my class, sounding like another world I didn’t want to be involved in!

That story is for another day. I wanted to tell you again about the LRA Test score that went down tremendously. I took the test again, and it felt very weird I scored the lowest in my class. I was by far very impatient. I had anger issues that I had been working on now my entire life. I had to learn to cope with many different feelings after my Traumatic Brain Injury, where my brain was bleeding, and they just never thought I would make it out alive.

I hope you all enjoyed a little about myself.

‘Been there, done that feeling before.’ I had no patience anymore. I had a problem with anger because of that traumatic brain injury over the summer! I wanted to remind my readers the importance of never giving up! I was told that I would be a tough comeback per se of the reading game. Now I’m writing stories and able to share them on Medium Publications. I never imagined I’d be where I am today. Despite facing countless challenges and naysayers telling me I’d never amount to anything, I persevered. Their doubts only motivated me further, and now, with all I’ve been through, I believe I’m in an ideal position to pen an upcoming memoir!”

— Thoughts&Feelings to date

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