“Hello, What’s Your Salary?” — The Standard Line from Japan’s Unmarried Women

Hello everyone!

Today I want to discuss the harsh realities of “konkatsu” (marriage hunting activities) in Japan.

Amid the trend of later marriages and declining marriages in Japan, there is an oversupply of women in the marriage hunting market. Looking at matchmaking agency data, the gender ratio of registered members is about 4:6, with more women than men. However, statistics show that the unmarried rate is higher for men, indicating an imbalance between supply and demand. Why is there such a disconnect?

According to IBJ, the largest matchmaking company in Japan, the gender ratio of registered members is about 4:6, with women in the majority. The oversupply of women is a common understanding within the industry. However, according to the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare’s Vital Statistics, the lifelong unmarried rate is higher for men — 23.0% for men versus 14.1% for women in 2019. This suggests an imbalance between needs and availability.

Why is the lifelong unmarriage rate rising?

Social Advancement and Economic Independence

After the 1986 Equal Employment Opportunity Law, women’s social advancement progressed. This led to more economically independent women and changes in perceptions about marriage. In particular, the increase in so-called “career women” with high incomes appears to be impacting the rise in women’s lifelong unmarried rate.

Increase in Non-Regular Employment

Since 1998, the number of regular employees has decreased and non-regular employment has increased. The insecurity of unstable working conditions has created concerns about not being able to support a family, contributing to the rise in men’s lifelong unmarried rate.

Decrease in Encounters

In the period between 1965 and 1970, about 50% of marriages were arranged. But by the 2000s that figure had dropped to 6%. In the past it was common for relatives or bosses to introduce marriage partners, but this kind of mediation has decreased due to the progression of nuclear families and changes in awareness of sexual harassment and power harassment in the workplace.

Changes in Attitudes Toward Marriage

In the past, it was common thinking that women would marry and have children, and men wanted to marry early to gain social acceptance. But recently, lifestyles without children or marriage have become more accepted.

Increase in Parasite Singles

Parasite singles refers to young people and middle-aged people who depend on living with their parents. The increase in this group also leads to a decrease in marriage options. This group increased from 2% of the total in the 1980s to 16% in the 2000s.

This time, I want to continue the discussion from the perspective of men distancing themselves from marriage hunting.

At marriage hunting sites, women have high “general conditions”, and men tend to be avoided. Imbalanced participation fees are also a factor (in some cases women participate for free while men have to pay tens of thousands of yen). Marriage hunting costs are very high for men, with little promise of success. On the other hand, women have a strong “seller’s market” mentality that they just have to wait for offers to come in. However, women’s market value decreases with age. They need to recognize that excessive confidence can backfire.

In an age dominated by SNS, young people’s attitudes toward marriage are also changing. There is a strong tendency to seek hassle-free, casual relationships, and a trend of hoping for a “come-from-behind victory”. More men want to spend money on dating expenses rather than marriage hunting activities. Marriage hunting organizations need to redefine their target demographics and find ways to also attract younger age groups.

Meanwhile, amid the trend of later marriages, there are still many women who strongly wish to marry early. However, judging from the quality of participants, it is also a fact that marriage hunting parties tend to attract “gold digging” women. Male participants feel disgust towards women with excessive “general conditions” disproportionate to their looks.

The marriage hunting support industry needs to develop new services that provide benefits to both men and women. While it is difficult to guarantee romantic success, creating an environment for a win-win relationship is crucial at the very least. Lowering the hurdle for encounters and providing venues for continuous exchange can facilitate natural matchmaking. Both men and women are challenged to discern their partner’s inner qualities.

AI evolution is also increasing opportunities to find partners perfectly suited to oneself. However, human relationships are ultimately built face-to-face. The fusion of digital and real will open up new possibilities. Rectifying the distortions in the marriage hunting market will require, first and foremost, a reform in awareness for both men and women. This field awaits true innovation.