Poetry | Mental Health | Depression

Hello Old Friend, It’s Been A While

A Poem to My Shadow

You ring the bell.

There is no answer at the gate. They’d rather not bother but will linger in the habits of a lifetime. Why try so hard to reach them.

You say they are jealous competing to win but I’m scared to be wrong.

A nervous habit long imposed with robes of black and a bib of white and a scarf to cover her hair a uniform of sameness complete with a mask.

They can’t see my smile So I don’t have to appease or try so hard to please.

I’m easy prey to a silver-tongued con I grew up fast and alone.

Tarnish turned me cynical. I don this shielding armor to keep from being seen though that is what I really want.

I hear them welcome me into the conspiracies. I don’t fit in, I never fit in. Even as I try a chameleon dress I am found out.

A wonder lacking worthiness, I’ve been drinking deep from the cup of self-loathing.

Instead of acceptance I can’t shake the belief that I don’t measure up like a bad dream where my shirt is inside out and I’m walking naked in the street and I can’t wake up.

There are no stories with parables or fantasy friends who hold the key to open my heart. I’m locked deep inside seeking perfection in my imagination.

If you enjoyed this poem, have a look at my book, We Swallow Light. It’s an exploration of events in a past life and a refreshing take on overcoming pain and the joy of finding love.