MENTAL HEALTH |LIFE
Hellish
A to Z of my mental state
Anxiety was ready to tear the body apart. Breath was afraid to come out the natural way. Chaotic mind was unable to process simple tasks. Depleted energy was a constant source of worry. Excitement about life was difficult to find. Fear of the unknown was dominant in all decisions. Grim future was planned prematurely. Help from outside was never an option. Inspiration was too scared to break the monotony. Jilted ego was fuelling the dormant anger. Kingside guilt was weighing down the soul. Love was absent from the heart. Magnitude of what was lost had paralyzed hope. Negativity was conveyed even to inanimate objects. Openness about the emotional state was denied with vigor. Possible cause was suppressed by societal pressures. Quiet corner of the soul was ignored with a vengeance. Restoration of normalcy was rejected with certainty. Simmering rage was destroying the fabric of sanity. Tumultuous trauma was nurtured with care. Unbridled outburst was triggered with the slightest provocation. Vulnerable state was exacerbated with continuous criticism. Weight of the past was carried with valor. X-treme fatigue was managed with sugar. Youthful exuberance was forgotten with feigned amnesia. Zombie persona was camouflaged with a radiant smile.
**
Prayers didn’t help. Medications didn’t respond. Meditations didn’t transform. Counselling didn’t work. At the darkest juncture, a shocking realization occurred. Life should be lived in the moment. Failures should be celebrated. Success should be calculated on the scale of “tried my best.”
Everything changed in an instant. Fog lifted to usher in the light. Love came from an unexpected source. Gratitude to be alive rescued me from the depths of hell.
© Fatima Imam (All Rights Reserved)
This abecedarian poem is written in response to Sahil Patel’s publication’s April prompt:
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I always hesitate to share the problems of my personal life but this prompt inspired me to talk about my depressive state in this poem. My mental state deteriorated as I was judging myself from other peoples’ perspectives and expectations. When I started living for myself and started doing things that made me happy, I could pull myself out of depression. I would really like my friends on Medium to read this poem (no pressure 😂😂) so I’m tagging some of you to give my words some of your precious time and forward it to anyone who might get some inspiration. Stay blessed, motivated, and live your life to the fullest. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏🙏
Dr. Preeti Singh Sahil Patel David Rudder David Perlmutter Thief Jenine Bsharah Baines Shameem Anwar Neera Handa Dr Dr Mehmet Yildiz A.H. Mehr Melanie J. Bhavna Narula Boateng Sekyere Sinus Kosinus Thomas Plummer Francine Fallara Iva Hotko I. Trudie Palmer Carolyn Hastings Indubala Kachhawa Lanu Pitan Huzaifa Irfan 🌷 Riaz Laskar Carolyn Riker William J Spirdione Diana Meresc Denise Larkin GB Rogut Priyanka Srivastava Christine Schoenwald Bill Abbate Freda Savahl M.T. Pariti Ali Monoreena Acharjee Majumdar Pierre Trudel Raine Lore Annelise Lords