Heart-Pumping Workouts For Writers Who Sit All Day Long

Free workouts according to your writing genre.

“Writing and travel broaden your ass if not your mind and I like to write standing up.” — Ernest Hemingway

Hemingway made it a habit to stand while writing. So did Charles Dickens, Virginia Woolf, Soren Kierkegaard, and Stan Lee.

Turns out there were many famous writers who used some form of a standing desk before it was a thing. And none of them, according to the photographic record, were broad in the beam (with the notable exception of Winston Churchill).

I’ve tried it. The experiments have not gone well. For some reason, the act of standing up suggests to my brain that my feet should be moving, at least very soon. That’s not helpful for composing a novel.

Given that I have neither the space nor the budget for one of those fancy treadmill work stations, if I want to get any writing done at all I need a chair.

While it’s a fallacy that “ sitting is the new smoking,” spending too much time without movement is not great for the body or the brain.

So what is a writer, who can easily spend an entire working day seated and alone, tapping away at the keyboard while sipping coffee and nibbling biscuits — until it’s time to switch to wine and chocolate — to do?

Writing time is hard enough to come by and when the words are flowing, who wants to stem the tide, pack up and drive to the gym?

My fellow scribe, that’s no excuse.

The very same laptop or computer upon which you compose your magnum opus is the portal to a body as lithe as your imagination.

Online, you can find a nearly infinite array of workouts that require very little more than a few square feet of space and the willingness to get off your duff and move it.

Best of all, if you’re still waiting for that six-figure advance: almost all of these workouts are free.

Further, with a little searching, you can find the video that supports the genre in which you write.

Of course, seek medical advice before beginning any exercise program or don’t come crying to me, etc, etc., but if you want to stay in your writing mindset while avoiding writer’s butt, here are some ideas:

Writing a spy thriller?

You need something with intricate steps and a dose of seduction that leads to increasing, heart-pounding intensity. Try a thirty-minute Zumba routine. It’ll get you sweating faster than a car chase in a Robert Ludlum novel.

Historical fiction?

Something classical is called for.

I suggest an online session with the New York City Ballet, which will transport you into the grace and lyricism of another era while giving you six-pack abs.

You can do the free YouTube video with a cheery intro from Sarah Jessica Parker, or if you wish, you can buy the whole series of DVDs on Amazon.

Maybe hard sci-fi is your thing.

I’m not sure all the moves are advisable for most of us carbon-based beings, but it turns out there are robot dance workouts available on YouTube.

They’re short, but bristling with machine-like precision. Get fit. Live long and prosper.

Full disclosure (no pun intended): as with robot dancing, I have not personally tried these workouts because I have nosy neighbors. But a brief preview is evidence enough that they’ll get you in the mood, if not into your physical therapist’s office.

If you write romance…

Here are some suggestions to raise your core temp, wink-wink, nod-nod. One is the thirty-minute Sexy Cardio Dance Vixen workout from PopSugar Fitness.

Or there’s Ballroom Cardio Dance. If those aren’t steamy enough for you, try online pole dancing classes from (I am not making this up) TantraTutorials. You have to pay for the full classes, but the introductory tutorials are free.

How about westerns?

Take a twenty-minute break from your sweeping epic and shake out the cobwebs with Autumn Calabrese leading a Country Heat dance workout video.

You’ll be quicker on the draw when you get back to your desk.

Literary fiction?

Perhaps you, with your newly minted MFA, compose exclusively literary fiction — the kind of work that gets rapt attention from book critics and nominations for the Man Booker Prize.

If that’s the case, then you’ll be best served by something mindful yet grounding, challenging yet restorative, sweaty yet spiritual.

Of course, this means yoga.

I do yoga daily (no Booker prize yet) and have sampled a fair number of the multitude of free online yoga classes out there. Here are some of my faves:

• Do Yoga With Me (most classes are free)
• Yoga With Adriene (a fellow writer)
• SaraBeth Yoga (reasonable pace)
• Five Parks Yoga
• Fightmaster Yoga (my all-time favorite)

All genres aside, I highly recommend to you my online workout BFF, Jessica Smith of JessicaSmithTV.

She’s a personal trainer whose mission is to bring workouts to us regular non-gym-rats at home — people who have kids and pets and jobs and laundry and maybe novels to write.

Her workouts are realistic, well-designed, and there are gazillions of them, of all different types. Jessica and I spend part of nearly every afternoon together, not that she knows it.

She’s encouraging and personable without being treacly that even when her workouts leave me gasping, I never get tired of her. Which is saying a lot, if I can catch my breath.

No matter how hard you’re writing, your brain only uses up about 300 calories a day.

That doesn’t even burn up your latte and morning bun. Also, studies have shown that movement promotes creativity. Just trust me on that.

If none of that gets you out of your chair, the dog could use a walk.