Health and Wellbeing Living with Dementia

Summary

The article discusses the personal journey of caring for a parent with dementia, emphasizing the importance of laughter and kindness in managing the challenges it presents.

Abstract

The piece "Health and Wellbeing Living with Dementia" delves into the emotional and practical aspects of caring for a loved one with dementia, particularly from the perspective of a child who becomes a caregiver for their parent. It highlights the necessity of understanding the disease, self-reflection, and adapting communication methods. The author shares personal anecdotes of caring for their father, illustrating the heartache and confusion that can arise, such as their father's longing to speak with his deceased mother. The narrative underscores the value of cherishing moments and maintaining a sense of humor despite the progressive nature of dementia, which can cause a person to regress to memories of their youth. The article concludes with an invitation to explore further stories about living with dementia.

Opinions

The author believes that dementia challenges individuals to understand the condition and its impact on those affected.
It is conveyed that caring for someone with dementia requires introspection and a willingness to adapt to new roles, including the reversal of caregiving responsibilities.
The author suggests that there are positive aspects to be found in the experience of dementia, advocating for creative engagement and maintaining a positive attitude.
The piece reflects on the importance of laughter and kindness in caregiving, suggesting these are key to managing the complexities of dementia.
The author expresses that dementia can lead to moments of confusion, such as forgetting the death of a parent, but also opportunities for beautiful and memorable interactions.

Live and Laugh with Dementia

It challenges one to understand dementia and what it does to a person.

It challenges one to look at self and ask questions. What is this doing to me? Why am I reacting this way? How can this be positive for my loved one, me, and those around us? What needs to happen to achieve a positive outcome?

It challenges one to think of other ways, creative ways, of engaging, and communicating with the loved one.

It challenges one to understand that where once parents were the carers of the child, dementia can lead to the child becoming the carer.

I am a child who became a carer to my father, and in the same breath, the carer of a child — my father.

A role that demands laughter, and taught me so much about dementia, my father, my family, me, and a four letter word Father valued — kind.

Rolling back the years

He stared out the window. I wondered if Father was thinking of his days growing up on Palmerston Atoll. He often did that. I heard the familiar sound of his fingers tapping on the arm-rest of his lazyboy, tapping the beat to our drum dance. Yes, he was thinking of home.

It was over 50 years since he sailed away from Palmerston. The years had gone by so fast, and had been kind to him. He looked good for an 80 year old, his skin was smooth, no wrinkles. I wondered, I hoped I possessed that gene.

Pointing to my left Father said “Pass me the phone”. Sliding across the sofa to my left I reached out and grabbed the handset off the side table. I slid back, and passed the phone to Father. He looked at the phone for a moment before asking “What is my mum’s number?”. “I don’t know” I replied. “I want to ring my mum” he said.

How do you tell your 80 year old father his mother is long gone?

Looking at Father I asked “How old are you? A long pause. He looked at me. “I am 100” he replied. I smiled “You look pretty good for a 100 year old man. You look not a day over 80”. Returning the smile Father said “I know. I look good alright”. My smile grew “What is your secret?” I asked. “Well…”

Cognitive Impairment

Disorientation to time, place or person are symptoms of dementia. Add memory loss to that and confusion can go through the roof. This can impact on remembering how old one is, and forgetting that parents have long passed away. Dementia has messed up this thought process, and will continue to cause damage. For those like my father dementia will continue to wipe away the years, anti-clockwise reducing memories, leaving memories of life lived long ago in younger years.

Remember, there are so many deliciously memorable moments living with, caring for, someone with dementia. Take note of those precious times and learn from them, enjoy them, be kind to them, as you live and laugh with dementia.

Thank you for reading my piece.

If you enjoyed Live and Laugh with Dementia: Rolling Back the Years check out the links below for more Living with Dementia moments.

Have a fabulous week.