He Was My Best Friend Online and One Day He Disappeared (Komla)

The friend I had never seen, and never will.

One morning, a Saturday, cold morning in East London, still wrapped up cozy in my white duvet, I scrolled through my Facebook feed. At the time, I was dating a Ghanaian guy from the Ewe tribe. He lived in Ghana; I lived in London, UK at the time.

I was desperate to learn the Ewe language to fit in with his people, and I would spend my breaks in between writing sessions to search Ewe teachers online. I stumbled across an Ewe language group on Facebook that Saturday morning and immediately clicked “join.” Within minutes of joining, my life changed forever.

Delving Deep

As soon as I joined the Ewe language group, I made a post requesting information about Ewe language teachers. Within seconds, I received a response from a man called Komla. The message read, “Hey, whatsup, heard you are looking for an Ewe teacher, I can teach you. I am from the Ewe tribe, and I can teach you. No need to pay me or anything, I can teach you everything through Whatsapp.” I responded immediately and agreed.

We exchanged numbers and began speaking on WhatsApp daily; he would send me long voice notes to help me with pronunciation, I would send him voice notes with a terrible accent trying to repeat what he just said. I dug deep and threw myself into learning the language; my boyfriend was impressed.

Komla and I became very close; I felt a deep connection to him because we were the same age. He was born on the same day I was born, the same year, it was kind of spooky actually. The name Komla means Tuesday born in Ghana; it a derivative of the Akan name Kwabena which also means Tuesday born(the male version of the name Abena).

I became obsessed with learning perfect Ewe; most nights I spent listening to his voice notes and chatting about poetry, music, and everything else. Some nights I would sit up thinking that maybe Komla was the guy for me; I brushed the thoughts aside and continued to learn the Ewe language.

One day Komla admitted that he had fallen in love with me. I fell silent and decided not to respond to his confession of undying love for me. We moved on from it and just carried on as usual.

A few months passed, and I moved to Ghana, it was 2016. I planned to meet him when I arrived, but I just found myself consumed with moving into my new house and spending time with my family. We continued to with the Ewe language lessons, he would send me songs, and I would sometimes send him poems and short stories.

Months passed, and it was time for me to go back to London to visit my friends and family. I stayed for a few months and went back to Ghana in October 2017. I remember at that time; I had gone months without speaking to Komla. When I arrived in Ghana, on the 6th of October 2017, I received a message from Komla, it merely said, “Abena.” Before that, I noticed several missed calls on my phone coming from him. I messaged back and called back, no response.

A few days had passed, and I grew increasingly worried about my friend Komla. I decided to head to his Facebook page to check up on him; I collapsed, my feet could no longer hold me up. I was feeling numb, shocked, stunned. Komla had passed away; as I write this, tears are streaming down my face.

Why Komla? I was desperate to find out what happened to my beautiful friend. I called his number several times, and eventually, a friend sent me a message saying that the funeral would be in a few weeks and that I should try and find my way there.

I didn’t make it to the funeral because I heard it would be an open casket; I didn’t want to meet him for the first time in a coffin. It just felt too raw, too morbid. I chose to remember Komla as the bubbly, energetic, intelligent, and thoughtful man that he was.

The Lesson

Life is short, really short. Live now, spend time with the people who make your heart sing, tell them you love them. Pick up that new hobby, be brave, live boldly, dance in the rain sometimes. I am not sure if Komla knew he would die or if it came around all too soon. The scary thing is, I think that he was sent to me to teach me something.

The last picture he posted on his Facebook wallpaper was a picture of my cousin; I had no idea he knew her. Komla was a talented photographer; she was his model for the day. When I go on his Facebook page to this day, that black and white picture of my cousin is still there, my heart aches. Komla, where are you?

Rest in Power, my friend; I miss you.

I am currently doing 30 articles in 30 days and this is day 14.

Read day 13’s article here >>> Do People Still Read Blogs in 2020?

https://readmedium.com/do-people-still-read-blogs-in-2020-2870c6c8fb5b