He Warned Me, But I Didn’t Listen

The moment you realized you didn’t know someone as much as you thought you did.

We are often trusting of kind people. We think of them as knights in shining armour. They have a solution for every problem. They seem to know what to say and when to say it.

Kind people care about your happiness and well-being. Their self-confidence allows them to be compassionate without expecting anything in return. They respect other people’s boundaries and they can go out on a limb for you.

That’s how Gregory made me feel. When I was with him, I felt safe. He was always grateful for life and every challenge seem small to him. Sometimes, I got jealous when he drops everything to go and help someone.

Gregory noticed it. Because I will make up an excuse to prevent him from leaving. Whenever I did that, he would remind me that it was in his nature and that he can’t help it. Then he would tease me that I will get fed with him one day.

I told him that will not happen. Any woman would be sick to let Gregory off their hook. He’s the type that loves genuinely and he’s unbelievably loyal.

He was a real catch, I tell you. He listens with interest and connects with people quickly. My relationship with Gregory was one of the rarest I ever had, where the guy was fully committed to me without needing any effort on my part.

“All that glitter isn’t gold”

As they say, “all that glitters is not gold.” I had this striking revelation when I began to notice Gregory’s dark side. I wondered how a person so kind and compensate can also be a monster at the same time.

It was all confusing for me. Of course, I know we all have our flaws, however, kind people don’t display theirs like others do. I believe when you’re good, you are good, and when you’re bad, you are bad.

There are situations when good people turn bad and vice versa. But in Gregory’s case, I couldn’t put the pieces together. He was like a totally different person when he was not nice.

The dark traits of the most compensate people

After Gregory and I broke up, we stayed as friends. I must say, breaking up with him wasn’t easy, but since we remained friends, the transition was a lot bearable. He is still the usual kind and thoughtful guy everyone crush on. Yet, despite his empathic nature, I couldn’t stop thinking about his weird personality that frightens me.

Just recently, I stumbled upon an article about INFP personality. INFP stands for Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving. This is a personality trait only a few people are lucky to have.

According to researchers INFP personality make up 4% of the adult population in the US alone. People like Princess Diana, Audrey Hepburn, and William Shakespeare have INFP personality.

INFPs are the type of people we assume will change the world because they always want to do the right thing and they lead without judgment. They are mediators because of their ability to see multiple sides to a problem and that makes them overly confident.

They are terrible at handling personal problems

They can easily be affected by their personal problems and fall into a downward spiral. They lock themselves up in a room and shut everything out. This behavior is difficult for friends and family to understand.

Being in a platonic or romantic relationship with an INFP can be frustrating because they don’t know how to express themselves. If they are worried about something, instead of addressing the situation they ignore it like it’s nothing.

They try to keep their relationship with people peaceful so they avoid conflicts at all costs. But things get messy when the other person starts feeling like the INFP is holding back and eventually give up.

They are self-absorbed

People with INFP personality live in their own world. Sometimes they lose focus on reality. When they are silent in a conversation, they are either processing their thoughts or trying to make sense of everyone and everything. You might notice them spaced out, become quiet, observing and absorbing the world around them.

Self-centered INFPs will not help others at their own expense. Before they help you they think of what they will benefit from their action. They are self-absorbed. They become so engrossed in their world and thought that they ignore people around them.

They are extremely vindictive

When an INFP grows cold and merciless, they might express themselves destructively. A dysfunctional INFP seeks vengeance over petty issues.

In fact, the dark side of an INFP comes out during conflict, when they are unable to reconnect with their quiet side. They become vicious and vindictive. Also when an INFP feels disrespected or unappreciated they cut you off from their lives completely.

Should you date an INFP?

The more I learned about INFPs, the more I connected the dots with Gregory. People with INFP personality traits are a rare find. They are one of the most loyal and trustworthy people on earth. They crave passion, creativity, and affection.

They make great lovers because of their compassionate and warm nature. They love unconditionally, and that makes people take advantage of them.

Regardless of their dark traits, it’s worth dating an INFP. If they happen to fall in love with you, you can bet they won’t let go of you without a fight.

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